Dream Big

2010-08-06T20:55:00.001+08:00

2010-07-10T00:57:00.001+08:00

Bo wen : Shine's coming.

Shi Ping : I am dying. Please kill me.

Xiao Ye : Its my birthday leh!

2010-07-04T18:42:00.006+08:00

You know what is your charm?
It is not in your face.
It is in your personality.
It doesnt look like a lot, but it is everything.

Never take girls seriously for their words, take them seriously for their feelings.
Yet you will never know how they really feel because they cant describe their own feelings, and thats how they mislead the whole world.

When you find out a friendship blooms a little further.
M: I feel so annoyed, frustrated, upset, urgh!!! I didnt intend this to happen.
V: Because you lost control.
M: I was about to say that.

V: Girls cut guys off when they find out that the guy likes them, because they want to protect themself, and protect the guy.
After thinking a while.
M: But there is noting left to protect, because by then the friendship is already dead. NOTHING LEFT.
Guys would not cut girls off even if they found out the girl like them because it is completely unfair. We might just be more cautious about the friendship, but to completely kill the friendship is unfair. We just think we will give you time to handle your own feelings.

I still dont understand why you did what you did.
I still ask the question, when and how.
I cant rationalise if i dont have that answer.
So i shall shut up and stop thinking about it, till then.
I hope i would get to talk to you again some day.
And God will create that some day, for me, for us, for this.

2010-07-04T01:47:00.003+08:00

ZY!
Heyyy big brother!
Thank you for being part of the past 3 years of my life, for never ever abandoning me when I needed someone. For taking time off your hectic schedule to spend time and invest into my life. Yes I really appreciate it. Thank you for speaking into me. For being a part of one of the most critical periods of my life. Thank you for always building me up, for making sure I'm sure of who I am and who I wna be. For giving me the freedom to lead my life, but always guiding me when I go a lil haywire. Thank you big brother. Thank you so much. (: You've impacted my life.

--

Maybe its nice someone remembered me by my chinese name. Voice from the past in the present.

These are words to a man dying of thirst in a desert of abandonment.
When all you ask yourself is Have i lived to make that impact in anyone's life?
And now you find courage to speak on.

2010-07-04T01:33:00.003+08:00

Sensitive enough.
Good acting.
I was just waiting for it to go.
To pass.
I dare you, stay strong. Hold your emotions together.
No one said Like
Stay strong and trust God in everything, in all of this.

--

You surrender to God, not because you were in a fight with Him.
You surrender because you got tired of fighting with yourself, and you know its time God take over.

2010-07-03T00:28:00.003+08:00

No matter how incomprehensible God is, He is simple, and that makes Him both comprehensible and incomprehensible :)

We can experience God in different ways, But He
is still the same God to us all.

A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing
it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

--

They say you will have a personal relationship with God.
Its more than knowing Him in church, through His word and prayer.

Its knowing and feeling God in a way only you do. Uniquely yours.
The coolest part is that you hold a little piece of Him, because He placed a little piece of His creativity bank in you. Thus only you communicate with Him the way you would do.
And that makes it personal.

2010-07-02T22:05:00.002+08:00

What are the things you wanted to do all your life but never found the courage to do it?

Walk alone in the hospital
Then Walk to a random bed ridden old man/woman and talk to them about their entire life
Eat alone at some nice restaurant
Tell mum and dad i love you in their face
Dance alone in the rain...just because i feel like it

..
...
....

2010-06-27T10:52:00.002+08:00

There were moments when i saw sparks myself too.
I just chose to silent them.

Promises are made when they are kept.

I promise you, i would see you smile on your wedding day.

Why did i not know exclusivity was an issue all along, i only thought words, character, personality was.
I still think, Omygoodness, this is so unfair.

2010-06-26T10:13:00.002+08:00

Silence in a friendship could just mean the death of one. It s like the heart beating machine, it doesnt beat anymore, it just lay out one continuous silent line.

The death of a friendship.

--

I run. And I run strong.
With strides that signifies strength.
With pace that symbolize speed.
With God given breaths.

I run because He gives me shoes of grace.
I run because I know He is with me, and waiting for me at the finishing line.

I run because He knows I can.

2010-06-20T13:29:00.001+08:00

World Science Festival 2009: Signature Animation from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

Vimeo Festival + Awards – VsTheBrain from VsTheBrain on Vimeo.

2010-06-20T11:51:00.001+08:00

So cool !

2010-06-20T09:27:00.001+08:00

2010/6/19 Joey Lam

As promised. One sample. I love this one.
I would still need to edit it here and there.

And i thought about artist integrity. I found out i would edit because i want the reader to hear from me. The book was meant to speak into their lives, not just to display my ideas. Hee.

20 June 2010 Rachel Chong

It's beautiful joey. No lawyer for you. Writer. HAHA

I woke up to this email. YAYNESS!
I still cant quite get enough of the last line.

2010-06-19T23:07:00.003+08:00

You can kick and throw your hands all around, push your fingers deep into the ground and dig out the earth, whine over reality, but it has already happened, nothing is changing, everything is changing.

I still don't understand how you being my closest friend, grew so distant, so apart. You asked me before the definition of a best friend, i didn't consider you one then, cause i used it in another context, but from my memory, we came to the conclusion, we were each others closest friend.

Now this is where we are, distant, drifted.
I have no idea when i lost that chance to speak into your life.
When i choose to share something with you, i was hoping you did reciprocate, but it just stopped there.
I wonder if you would ever read this, if you would ever know its you.

Sincerely, i would really like to do this face to face, but it would require a lot of courage, and now is not the time, but i just need to say it out here.
I would ask you, "How did everything land up here? How did this friendship turn so stale? How did i lose that voice to speak into your life? How i no longer know anything about your life?"
I found myself telling you this, You are one friend i refuse to lose.
And you ad no idea how to respond to that line. I only gave it once, and only to you.
I know i ain't good at responding to certain lines when i lack the feelings and emotions, but i didn't expect you to do the same.

The weight of those eight words is so immense.

Maybe Jesus whispered to himself those words in the garden of Gethsemane.

--

I know church has this thing about only dating after 21, age doesn't speak so much as time does. I mean time will never over take age.
At my grand dad s funeral, there was this pastoral leader from another church my dad is giving consultation for, came up to me and, "Ask so do you have a girl friend already?"
I said, "No. She is too young."
Her reply, "Oh in our church, we encourage everyone to marry early, see they already have a kid." Points to a couple sitting across the table, below 30.

Still, i am not hung up about age, i am hung up about time.
Because time can never overtake age.

2010-06-19T01:20:00.004+08:00

Its interesting how people can remove your authority to speak into their lives. Like they just decided to unplug it.
I never quite saw it coming.
I always thought its possible to watch someone grow up, i think otherwise now.
You are just easily catching glimpses of everyone's lives.
You take samples of their everyday season.

--

I wrote nice stuff this week.

--

One day i must look into someone's eyes and completely empower them.
Tell them a line they will remember for eternity.

--

There is depth to what looks shallow, and there is superficiality to what looks deep.

2010-06-12T23:12:00.003+08:00

This weekend was a total blast. God planted to many seeds into my spirit man, and plucked out so much weed within. I stepped into church with anger, bitterness and resentment, i walked out with forgiveness and being forgiven.

I finally knew how Jesus felt when He was so tremendously falsely accused by His captives. He kept silent, He laid down His rights, He swallowed it with courage. I am glad i did not object against the false accusations brought onto me, God told me not to, even though within i wanted to so badly. I followed His example.

Today on the last sermon by Pastor Paul, He spoke, "I am a follower of Jesus Christ."
Others around the room declared it, i affirmed myself with that same line, because i know i was already following Him.

Today i am mightily glad to see how God has used me to change and impact those around me :D

Eunice Lim says (10:42 PM):
*haha! You are one friend whom I'd always look out for in church. :)

I asked why...she asked me to guess.

Called To Scintillate says (11:02 PM):
*cause i bring God s presence
*i speak life
*i add value into your life
*i care?
Eunice Lim says (11:04 PM):
*Haha. more than just that actually
Eunice Lim says (11:05 PM):
*I'm always amazed at how you speak life at the right moments
*the friend who was always there
*not everyday, but you just kinda know it
*oh
*and there's a verse
*There are “friends” who destroy each other,but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
Eunice Lim says (11:06 PM):
*yep you care
*you go the extra mile
Eunice Lim says (11:07 PM):
*you speak boldly into ppl's lives

I said it took so much courage...

Eunice Lim says (11:09 PM):
*Yeah! I know! I really do!
*that's why I look up to you :)
*I admire your courage

--

It was really nice to meet my JC classmates again. I used to think they werent that pretty...especially on my first day walking into my class, today i thought otherwise.

--

My confinement is not my assignment.

2010-06-06T11:51:00.000+08:00

How could you say I am not proud of you? You are my kid, of course I am proud of you.

God

2010-06-05T22:47:00.003+08:00

We always view God as Big...and our problems small.
We imagine the 'hugeness' of God making our tiny but 'frightening' problems look so small.

But today God broke that concept.
The above imagination is a ratio, like God is 100 times bigger than our problems.
Yet, God is infinite, His power has no limits.
Thus infinite : 1 is invalid.

--

Comfortable silence.

--

Sometimes you just want to hear your answer echo back to you.

2010-06-05T09:58:00.003+08:00

God sometimes remain in silence even in your time of trouble, because He also gives grace to the wicked.

2010-06-04T13:01:00.004+08:00

My new favorite song :D
Relient K always produce awesome music! Woosh woosh.

--

I must date myself starting with a movie.
There is always a first to everything.
Honestly, I need to pluck up the courage to do this.

--

I told two close friends last night that I visited to two different temples on vesak day.
I didnt get to explain why, was 'refuted' to not do this again.
I thought about it.

God did break stereotypes on that very day itself.
I figured out why.

It was just another building, place, where people gather and manifest their false hopes, practice their rituals.
God just whispered the same line He has been whispering to me for weeks, " There is absolutely nothing to fear."
With the God of universe beside me, what is there to fear?

I thought about the spiritual realms and their demonic power.
God questioned back, "Who is more powerful?"
Me, Silence.
God, "The one who conquered death lives in you."

There is no place His hand can't reach, or His power insufficient.

--

My grand dad just passed away.
Thought a little about life and death, about last lines, about people crying.

Death is simply a transition point, into another life, into eternal life.
Jesus overcame death, so we do not dread death, but we find hope there.
We see Jesus through death.

--

The lines God has been whispering to me or months.

While you are waiting, the wind is blowing.
There is absolutely nothing to fear.
Love keeps no record of wrongdoings.

--

I think clouds are so beautiful.
He told me yesterday that He = Sky.
Since God is love, and God = sky, His love for us is like the sky.
Our eyes will never see the height of it, nor how far it stretches out.
It surrounds us 360 degrees and wraps us in one whole, like atmosphere is to the earth.

2010-06-03T10:07:00.004+08:00

Do not see the rule, commandment, order...
See the heart behind it.
And you will understand why you should stick by them.
For each one was crafted out of love.
Thus why would you not want to walk under the shelter of love?

Forgiveness is not just the end of bitterness and hatred, it is the beginning of a new work, a new love.

2010-05-30T19:53:00.002+08:00

CREATIVE CALL / CONVOCATORIA from Carlos Lascano on Vimeo.

IMPACT LIVE LEVEL UP EVEN MORE!

Still in love with this video.

--

Here I am. There she is. Between us is ten feet, between our minds are genetics, feelings, thoughts, and everything else. Ten feet isn't that far, but it is still a distance. We cannot exchange whispers, but we can exchange smiles. The sun does not wait, it leaves.

Failed attempt.

2010-05-30T12:18:00.000+08:00

Above all else, it has to be His decision.
To walk in His plans.

2010-05-30T11:07:00.004+08:00

SwitchFoot - Dare you to move

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

2010-05-23T00:52:00.000+08:00

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the earth. The words read on, but my thoughts drifted away.

Since God is both omnipotent and omnipresent, He must have known that Adam and Eve would have sinned by choosing that forbidden fruit over His love. He must have been there witnessing the act before it occurred, before He started creating. If He knew why would He have planted the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the first place? Sin would not have entered. Death would not exist. Even if He planted it, why not intervene when Adam and Eve ate? He still planted it there anyway. One word. Why?

Aside the questioning, it has already happened, we are here now.

I cant quite exactly recall when I first though about raising up my own kids. Like time, it just happened, years before I met Tracy. I’ve always imagined the values, morals and words I wanted to impart into the lives of my kids. The life I wanted them to have. Those thoughts formed their being out of love. Oh, if only they knew how much I think about them, my thoughts would outnumber the grain of sands by the shore. I call my daughter an absolute beauty, and my son a victorious champion.

Things would definitely be different if Tracy’s heart still beats. The silence between the kids and I would not have been so deafening.

The question does not escape me. Have I been a good dad? I’ve worked hard to keep this roof up, sheltering us for years, but have I equipped my children well enough to keep their own roofs up? Deep within, I know I have given them my best, my everything. I would do noting to withhold the best from them. I tried my best to cloth them in the right character. I may have given them my best, but it is up to them to accept it. Beyond all these efforts, some day my children will know how much I love them.

I silent my feelings and focused back down into the truth.

The words ran on, and another contemplation interrupts.

When Adam and Eve sinned, they sewed fig leaves yet no matter whatever we used or do to cover our wrongdoings, it will never suffice. God knew it was not enough. This is where He intervened. He showed up.

The creator of the universe who placed the stars in their places now places a new cloth on them.

Innocent blood and an eternity of brokenness in exchange for a moment of pleasure.

Amazing what loves does, for it covers a multitude of sins. He protected them out of love.

Then God whispered, “I loved you enough to give you the freedom to choose between that fruit and my love. “

2010-05-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

Eunice Lim says (11:56 PM):
*Haha
*the first thing I saw you
*I mean the first thing I did when I saw you
*is
*smile. :)
*Yup

Eunice Lim says (11:58 PM):
*actually
*i ddnt really notice
*i saw you
*i knew i saw you
Eunice Lim says (11:59 PM):
*and i just smiled. :)
*And first thing i thought was
*"hey, Joey. :) You're here. :)"

:D

The one line that warms me for this entire week.

Expand my dream.

2010-05-16T07:55:00.002+08:00

Because time does not move faster, neither does it move slower. It just ticks on in fluidity. Moments of brilliance does not lull, while moments of pain, hurt, suffering does not shorten.

Life becomes more difficult to live as you grow older, yet as you grow closer to God, it becomes more possible.

Forgiveness is a choice, nothing beyond that. Choice to let go.

Love keeps no record of wrongdoings, not because it is noble, but out of protection.

2010-05-02T09:55:00.001+08:00

Consider and Chase

2010-04-25T22:03:00.001+08:00

Oxygen from Christopher Hendryx on Vimeo.

2010-04-25T10:59:00.004+08:00

I stared down at the jar of jam. Red, jelly like, crystalline. I reached out and shook the jar of jam, looking at the jam wiggle. I impaled the knife into the bottle of jam. The jam easily gave way, not bothered by the intrusion of a foreign object. Maybe we should be like the jam.
The whole meal bread still lay on the plate yet to be painted by jam. The knife still, unmoved, almost seemingly stuck.

Daddy used to bring little sister and I out for picnics. I just love how Daddy brings us out to do something fun. And its amazing how every time He brings us out, it doesnt rain, the clouds are fluffy, the sky is well...sky blue. We did this every alternate week for one whole year. I was five, and little sister was three.

We always went back to the same shady place, a five minutes walk from home, down that dusty road, swerve into a smaller right lane, and we will find ourselves this big oak tree. Its branches stretch far out wide, standing alone in this big field of green. I am sure it loves our company, and the big oak tree smiled every time he saw us approaching from a distance when the right lane ends. I actually wonder if the oak tree ever felt lonely when we werent sitting there on Saturday afternoons.

Once, when we were out for picnic, Daddy decided to bring one more extra bottle of jam.
Dad, why the extra bottle of jam?
You will see, Son
Little sister said something, I didnt hear because my eyes were glued to the extra bottle of jam. Somehow it just felt...uncomfortable to see an extra bottle of jam in the picnic basket.

We ate our usual share, stared at the sky, and watch the clouds go by. The breeze blew, and as time passed we ran out of bread. I stared inside the picnic basket and found that extra bottle of jam there, untouched.

Daddy, no more bread.
What do you think we should do, my princess?
Little sister picked up the bottle of jam and unscrewed the cap, pick up a fork and stuff it in.
She proceeds to stick half the fork into her mouth. Some jam fell onto her shirt.
Daddy, we can do that?
Son, no one said you can't.

Excitement rushed through me as I applied this new found technique. I stick the fork in, pull it out, shove it straight into my mouth. Oh that glorious taste, of pure jam, so sweet. It was absolutely awesome. Especially when the jam just melted inside my mouth. I was on a rush. Hungry for more of this ecstasy. A tinge of impatience creep in when little sister took her time to carefully lift out her fork from the jam bottle.

Little sister and I took turn to stick the forks into the jam bottle.
That day we finished two bottles of jam, instead of one. And well, the sky...somehow had a deeper blue to it. And everything felt sweet that day.

I stared back at the bottle of jam lying before me. I did a quick paint of jam over the piece of whole meal bread, and left for school.

2010-04-25T10:22:00.004+08:00

When I saw my broken toy car lying on the floor, unwanted, wrecked and left in broken pieces, a surge of anger rose within. How could my little sister do this to my toy car? Out of brotherly love, I gave her my most beloved toy car to play with, and this is what it amounts to it. So this is how my little sister treats my gift for her? I will complain to Daddy.

I stormed into His room, frowning, and He naturally arose from His seat, followed me out of the room and looked at where my finger pointed. He smiled, eyes sparkling as usual.

It is okay son, you dont have to stop loving your sister just because of one broken toy.
But Daddy...
He smiled in silence.
I still refuse to disarm my anger. Daddy has no idea how precious that toy is to me.
Son, which is more important? That you always love your sister, or your toy?

Right there, on the floor was no longer a broken toy car, just pieces of plastic.

2010-04-23T20:37:00.000+08:00

Son, take my hand and trust Me.

2010-04-13T01:14:00.000+08:00

Lord, I lift up Joey in Your mighty hands. i thank you for a brother like him, and i pray that You will just continue to bless him in this new season of his life. i pray that You just let him feel that You will always be by his side as his source of joy, hope and strength, even as he is in army. I pray that you will just slowly reveal the great plan you have for him, because You said that You have
a plan that will give him a hope and a future. i pray that You will just carry joey if he faces tough stretches of life, and that you will use him as a vessel of Your love. I just thank You for Your renewed promises, in Jesus' name, Amen
<:o) happy birthday!

1st prayer for my 20th birthday.

2010-04-11T23:11:00.003+08:00

Thurs Night Mic and mindy kon
Fri Evan Ikea Car Adam
Sat Eunice xing yu elvin edwin xiao ye an yu shi ping hui wen
Sun Edwin Evan Jing Wei
Mon Alex
Tues Rae Ian Joanne Joan Chai
Wed Relatives day?
Thurs Audrey Lim Tania Chan Sarah Ian

2010-04-04T02:42:00.004+08:00

The scariest bit about humanly love, is that it is all just a feeling, a commitment, its all in the head, you stop thinking about that person long enough...you lose that passion, you've lost that feeling, you lost your love.

~~

I find myself slipping into another season
without really knowing
its like a tide..
washing you over
crashing down on you
and you arent ready
you were still holding on to somethings back there at the shore
like your head still looks towards the shore
yet the waves pull you away

~~

Keep edifying, because your light is fueled by His love.

~~

I wish I could press the pause button in my life, re-live certain seasons again, certain magical moments, feel what I felt back then.

2010-04-04T01:54:00.004+08:00

POP on thursday. I dont care about it. Cause I know God s going to take care of everything. This was not the reason why I came here to post. To be honest, I rather not post about my life...but things that goes on in my head. Unheard of. Unspoken.

To you...reader who still thinks this blog is alive...
These are soft whispers even I find hard to catch...

I secretly want a friend to buy me music...that I have never set my ears on before, tunes unheard, and I did fall in love with it, dance with it.
I want to eat awfully chocolate cake for my birthday, but food is no longer that appealing to me anymore.
I want a birthday surprise I have to remember for life.
I want words and photos that provokes my thoughts and emotions.
I want a friend to sit beside me and talk till the sunsets.
I want to go on mission trips with my future girlfriend.
I want to go new york...central park.
I want to go Disneyland with my future girlfriend too.

**I want to kiss my future girlfriend while the rain pours down on us.
So extremely cheesy, but that imagery has always stuck in my...head.

--

Dont forget. Just make guest appearances.

~~

You fight for memories, but what if memories has already left and there is nothing left to fight for?

~~

I guess I will find you in the next season. I hope.

2010-03-06T09:50:00.002+08:00

Its amazing when you reach a point in your life...
and you ask God...
What happened to Psalms 23.

His reply...
It is still there.

Remember me.

2010-02-20T23:44:00.003+08:00

Sorry Dad...

--

I wish things could move slower, too many changes at one go as usual.

--

Jesus pick up the broken pieces, its all here. And I know and believe Your hands can create something amazing out of it.

2010-02-15T13:42:00.001+08:00

This is so cool~!!

ANd behind the scenes.

CANON: Freeze Tag - Behind The Scenes from Saman Keshavarz on Vimeo.

2010-01-23T00:47:00.002+08:00

The 800th Post

My first outdoor adventure camp and I was a facilitator.
Conquered 510m high mountain.
Planted rice and pluck out weeds :D
Pitched tents.

Spoke into people s life. Hee.
God s awesome for taking awesome care of me.

Jane called me teacher for 3 days straight.

2010-01-14T11:26:00.001+08:00

I am going to find a way to get this guy's album :D

--

A year of firsts.

Light painting/graffiti
Photo shoot
Film
Paintball
Back Flip
Lots of army

2009-12-22T23:01:00.002+08:00

Met up with Gerry Kong
It was splendid.
God kept His word as He whispered to me when i said grace, "It will be fun."

Haven had a conversation with such depth for a really really long time.

--

The wind is like God.
You cant see it, but you can feel it.
It s hands will touch the leaves and direct its path.

2009-12-09T00:27:00.004+08:00

Captured Light
I went to prom tonight.
Spent a total of 206 bucks,
Armed with a DSLR and a flash light
I took so many photos.

Photos were the main highlight
We take with those whom we cherish
Those whom we find dear to us
Those who shaped our JC life.

On the way home,
I was alone,
Not exactly alone, but alone.
Likewise in the photos
What if we stood beside no one
And I placed my arm around
An imaginary friend?

Alone
The Creative created me unique,
Only I am like...
Me.
The Infinite gave me breath
The Majestic formed me from dust
One special day, I will be worse than rust
And then these photos
Will matter no more.

2009-12-08T01:13:00.002+08:00

*Smiles*

I am free.
I've always been free, in the name of Jesus, but i am free from A levels now.
The feeling of constant studying and fretting over my grades and future is gone, but fresh in my memory.
The need to listen to music to block out noise...
The need to find people to study with.
The bus rides.
The TUTORIALS.
7 to 7 life style.
JC was a blast, and God s grace was what pulled me through and through.

I am in a new phase, and i think i like it.

Mission trip was a total blast.
I LOVED IT :D
It was awesome.
God turned up every single day, and prepared the spiritual ground for us to work.
There were so many healing miracles.
The rain stopped because we persist in our praying and we believed God would answer.
It was the first rally night. People actually went back to their nearby house to get umbrellas and come back to watch the concert.

God answered our prayer as we entered the second school.
We prayed and God answered.
We prayed because we didnt go Philippines to be told we are denied access to a school.
To hold a Godly concert.

The response was so awesome, everyone readily commits their life to Jesus Christ.
The people over there are so friendly, their smiles are deeply embedded in my mind.
The children are so warm. And i have to admit, so awesomely cute and good looking.

The living conditions for us was quite a change.
I took one or two days to get used to the pails and buckets, with toilet bowls without the seat.
It was actually kinda fun to experience it all.
We all missed it when we came back.

Jeepney rides are the love.
The accent.
Youth Impact. Y-okay Y-okay. Pastor Dan-iel.

Balot. Dried mangoes. Shopping. Peso.
Snockling.
Above all. God.
His love.

The kids ministry.
The hazy dust. They are so cheeky, both the boys and girls. But still adorable.
The villages. The houses.
Olango.
The motorkate.
The motorbike rides :D
The flies, and pile of dust.
Sleeping on hard floor, having to blow the mat every single day.
The 10 min bathing rule, having to wait for your turn.
Uncle Toby bars save the night!

The people, translators, God s children.
Sister Cherlie, Sheena, Josephine, Sharon, Precious.
Brother Titus.
FIRECARCKERS!
The awesome Encouragement Cards :D

I am so excited to see God move in Church of God Lapu Lapu.
The upcoming dome. The church building is rising.
The food...i wish there were more veggies but its okay :D
ARGH the fish and their cursed bones.
And so so much rice...overdose.
But i LOVED IT STILL :D

Colin and the rat catching incident.
The poor rat drowned, it squealed for mercy before it was dropped into the bottle.

MY AWESOME AWESOME group!

Zhong hua, Sherie, Me, Evan, Sam, Mindy, Esther, Zeena, Mu Xin, James, Zi Xin.
The group dynamics was :D

The running to spread the gospel.
The Brisaya language, i must say i kinda like it.
Linkod, what a magic word.
Mu En with his spontaneous acting.
Kenneth with his God given talent of magic tricks.

I've grown a lot by faith through the trip.
God s presence was so....around me...all the time.

The smiles...i just wont forget them.

2009-11-21T10:59:00.003+08:00

I feel depressed, that i am throwing away all my homework.
Throwing away all my rubbish, all the work i loathed, and wish i didnt have to do.
I feel devastated that i killed so many trees, printed notes that i never read.
I am one mcq paper away from total Freedom.
I will live life again.

And as i feel reluctant to throw away all my work,
God said, "Son, let go."

This is it. I'm letting go.

2009-11-15T14:16:00.001+08:00

Simple and complex.
I shall do something like this one day.

2009-11-15T10:32:00.002+08:00

God told me to start reading Job on Friday.
Quiet time has been...rather emotion roller coaster like since then.
I seldom feel anything in quiet time, i usually just think.
But reading Job has been quite a journey, i am only at chapter 4 and breaking down all their words...is finally putting me in their spot.
I used to glance through Job, tried to finish the chapter, and hope it somehow made sense to me, this time its just so different.
Its just so heart wrenching.

I think this is obvious, but we all missed it.
Few or maybe no one came close to losing what Job lost.
When we are buried in our pain, we seldom see pass beyond the veil of agony.
Job was firstly a blameless and upright man, feared God and shunned evil.
Quite sure we dont cut out for that label.
Next he was so exceedingly blessed, he did be Bill Gates back then, he was described as the
greatest of all the people of the East - Job 1:3
The greater the height, the greater the fall.

Josh told me something last night which suddenly made a lot of sense.
Things happened anyway, either by God's permissible will, or God's perfect will.
And what happened to Job was permissible.
Why did God even allow Job to go through something so excruciating?
Simple: He is God, and Satan loves to have competition, so we become God's chest pieces.
Its an honour to be God s chest piece anyway.
God knew He would not lose Job, not because Job s was in such a dire state, but because the devil could not break Job s character, something only God had access to.
The devil could only attempt to change it.

As i proceed to chapter 2, i begin wondering how was it like that Job struck with boils from the crown of his head to the sole of his feet, sleeps, sits.
They sat there in silence for 7 days and 7 nights, they most probably did not eat and bathe, with their robes torn, and dust and ashes all over them.
Beats our sleep deprivation by leaps.

Its interesting how the devil only appeared twice in Job.
Since both God and the devil had a competition, the devil stop protruding because there was nothing else left to take from Job besides his life.
Job was reduced to the lowest of the lowest, KO of the KO.

And chapter 3, is so freaking sad.
He exceedingly rejoices when he finds the grave.
Existentialism questioned.
It seems like he wish he would have be an aborted child in today's term.
And we already symapthized an aborted child so much, what more Job.
Job spent his entire life gathering the blessings God gave him, and he simply lost it all in a few minutes.

And all this while, i listen to the lines, such a beautiful surrender.
Mute Maths - Control

2009-11-15T00:17:00.003+08:00

Just like any other day
How did we end up here.
Where
is
here
.
Was it there that we started?
I mean…when did start, start?
How did I string all these words together
Incoherent, I conjured
These fragile thoughts
My mind could not stop
My breath was catching up with my heart beat,
I screamed, “Its not fair.”
I SCREAMED, “ITS NOT FAIR.”
Was I trying to make someone hear me
Making sure someone will hear me
Denying the truth that the odds are against me
That others are screaming the same line
Stuck in their own lives

Everything is broken
All around me glass shattered
F r a g m e n t s
Streaks of blood across the floor

My tears were red
My palms and fingers could now write
Its singular
Long gone is the plural
I could still see my morbid being
The reflected image of a nearby broken glass
That s a good sign
Light is struggling to break in

I just need to hear those lines
“I’ve been there, I’ve done that.”
I just need to hear those three words
From anyone,
“I feel you.”
And I need to hear from God
More than ever
That “It is okay
Everything is going to okay.”

When my ears receives aid
And my heart finds strength
To stand up again
It will no longer matter
When did start, start.
Or how did end, end.

--

me, "God, what should we feel about it?"
God, "Nothing."
me, "God how can we feel nothing about this? It is so unfair, it just is. Everything is just so...broken. So lost, so hopeless."
God just held me close to Him, and i continue kicking and screaming, the same three words over and over again.
And all He said was, "Son."
He knew no words or rationale thought could justify my feelings.
He knew best that a hug would say everything words cannot say.
Everything words never meant to say.

This is my story.
I listen to their stories.

2009-11-11T17:20:00.006+08:00

Thoughts on a 30mins Bus Ride Home
.
.
.
Life is like a bus ride.
We imagine what is it like to be somewhere else.
What is it like to not sit on the bus but by the tree
Along the roadside.
To watch the buses pass by.
We wonder what kind of life the person sitting beside us led.
We think about all the other possibilities if we were elsewhere,
Spending time not traveling, but living.
Not dreaming, but be-ing.

I listen to the beats and tunes,,,,
Yet barely hear the birds chirp""
The grass shoots!!!!
It is like a bus ride, because i think this is the route.
But i never know if i would meet an accident..__a trail of
Expected accidents.
Along the road, anything could happen?
I saw that green passing bin, staring out at me.
It never moves, but it always notices.
Or is that just my imagination.

Life is a bus ride.
I struggle to get off.
And when i am done,
I get on to another bus ride.
We continue to sit beside strangers,
Lovers, Friends, People, Animals.
We give up out seats for those who need a dose of kindness
I give up my seat because it just seems right.
I hold on to the bars and handles, for the road is seldom flat or straight.
Because God invented gravity.
And inertia. And...

Life is a freaking long bus ride.
Time crawls at snail's pace.
And the snail never considered reverse.
Nothing is certain.
Just like the stranger beside me.
All probabilities of a saint, or a sadist.
But all in the same bus ride.
All heading home.
All combating against this traffic.
This Jam. This butter.

We got on the wrong bus rides.
I dont want to talk about its.
We got off at the wrong bus stops.
I dont want to think about its.

I can press the stop button if i want to?
I planned to, didnt i.
Why did i miss the stop then.
Have i overslept.
Quit asking if this is a dream.
This is reality./!/?
We miss our stops.
I got down and walk.
Home.

Life is a bus ride.
Not two bus rides,
Because i Only have One life.
I Only have enough coins for One trip.
One chance.
One bus ride home.

In all certainty.
This Bus Ride will one day reach my destination.
This Bus Ride will end.
Just W H E N
And before that happens, may i smile,
And enjoy this ___ Bus Ride

2009-10-31T23:25:00.002+08:00

Woosh! Typography! :D

--

I want to go airport and not have to mug.
I want to sit at oriental hotel and enjoy the ambiance in the lobby.
And i heard a very powerful message today :D

Audacity. Accuracy. Action.

The day the sun stood still.

2009-10-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

I thought the concept was nice.
Not a message of love though.

VIDEOGiOCO -(loop-experiment)

donato sansone | MySpace Video

2009-10-24T01:28:00.005+08:00

Shadows provoke ambiguity,
Yet they tell you the truth.
It forces you to be colour blind.
You will never know absolutely a person s age, just by the look of the shadows.
Shadows lie about our size and definitely our height.
Shadows tell us we are all the same, we are all...objects...
The sun proves our shadows, we are reduced...to nothing but objects on earth
...standing in the path of light.

And if not for us or any object, light would have to keep traveling on till the ends of this universe.
Shadows, are dead.
Yet we personify them and give them breath by our every action.
By our burst of life and movement.
Shadows exist now because light permits it to.
And shadows die the next moment, because light stops shining.
Shadows neither existed, nor died..it was just there.

Shadows are silent, they speak no personality, no volume, no nothing.
It is telling you the absolute truth...yet our perceptions consistently distorts the truth it tells us.

Shadows...unite all of us under the sun.

2009-10-21T22:26:00.002+08:00

This is the last day of school :D

Or so i declare.

Two years of JC life...

Didnt regret coming to Innova :D

Its been a blessed journey.

Mr lim gave us his last speech...and he teared.

He gave us a foolscap pad and autographed on it.

Mr Chua gave us hello panda and an NUS pen.

No more national anthem :D

I am much more than i think i am, because God says i am.

2009-10-09T00:04:00.004+08:00

I serve an absolute God.
Given, x = negative thoughts, and function = God.
f([x]) = Positive.

Cell leader said there s no such thing as a computer fast...
Maybe he is right...it is just hiatus.
Must fasting always be ordained by God?

I need to do research for Gp, and econs! For once i am researching these subjects.

The supply of God s grace is priced at infinite value, and quantity demanded finite, since we our quantity demanded can never be infinite for an infinite God.
Thus no matter how much we demand His grace, it is more than sufficient.
Plus if we dont even demand for His grace, He is still going to supply it all the same.

His providence of grace is independent of our demand.
In God's economy, He is the sole provider of grace, and yet producing at optimal output. Consequently social welfare is also maximized.
This is when the monopolistic firm is behaving like it is in a perfect competition.
Econs will only show how infinite my God is.
He 'defied' the subject He created...in fact God 'defies' every subject He creates.

How can Jesus miraculously create so much food from 5 loaves and 2 fishses, with 12 baskets of leftovers...
Its either God's maths failed, or He never obeyed the laws of simple arithmetic.
5 + 2 = 12 ?

2009-09-30T00:08:00.011+08:00

It is 40 days left to A levels...

This is the countdown!
40 day fast from internet and computer...
Jesus did it.
So can i :D

I will only be contactable by phone.

Finally Blogger has got their act up together again...

Photos! The next time i get back here...would be the start of A levels.
This is more than the last lap...
The end is near...and that makes me smile.

A few photos in commemoration of my results so far.
Having achieved a worse grade in chem for prelim 2 than prelim 1, even though after mugging...how interesting. Heh.

Jesus please stay with me.
Amen.
And Yes child like faith...just like how You showed me today.

--

Time is ticking...
Away

Consistently.

And so i

Mugging

Frantically.

And when i am beat, exhausted and tired...
This

Will cheer me on.

Above all...let my heart continue to have...

Child Like Faith.

And when A level s is done...
I will be like this boy...

Smiling like the world is made of candies.

2009-09-19T23:47:00.003+08:00

It is 50 days to A LEVELS...
I would be half way through the 100 days mark.

JC life has been...a bumpy ride...
I am nearing the end...of this ride...and would continue my life on a different vehicle.
I am lost with words to express and describe my JC life...i thought i had many words...but...

Was two years too fast?
Yet there were so many things that happened as well.
Maybe everything happened too fast that i didnt have enough time to remember what happened.
Maybe i spent too much time thinking about studies.
Maybe i am so numb to what happened already.

I am glad to say walking near God the past few days feels awesome.
Feels certain and secured.
Blessed are those who put their trust in Him.

Prelims was an overkill...
I know...

I need time to sit down and think about my past 2 years in IJC...
But i am afraid i might not find the memories to recollect as studies took up 80% of my brain space.
The other 20% of the brain space is used to activate the 80%.

--

What really matters to me?
That i can answer...
What really matters to me now?
The answer that i give to the second question does not tally with the first.

Things are starting to settle down...somehow...
I should start praying for my friends again...
Start...what needs to be started...

The following line would reflect my current frame of thought.
I am sitting down...and thinking why am i sitting down.

--

My friend told me this over the Msn convo..

Friend... says (11:04 PM):
i can nvr forget the way he asked for my number when we were supposed to part n nvr meet again
Called To Scintillate (Me) says (11:04 PM):
Wa.
how did he ask?
hahaha
Friend... says (11:05 PM):
i was tired so i was squating and den he asked do u think we can still talk like this again
den i say sth like if got fate jiu will
den he borrow my handphone and type his number in
den i totally melted
i was quite ok with not contacting him b4 he did tt

--

My answer to life right now...
Go ask God.

2009-09-13T02:15:00.002+08:00

I think romance is just all a fantasy.
The real love stories...are difficult to pen, and painful to hear.

2009-09-04T20:51:00.006+08:00

It was really nice talking to Abel...
after so long.

--

I crafted this poem in 6 minutes before assembly this morning...
I am feeling much better now...after lots of sleep :D
I love the concept though...
Lalala

TIME OBSERVING ME
I am alive,
but dead.
Awake and walking.
Breathing yet suffocating.
My pace is both
Hurried and slow.
Without hesitation, I slave for
a sleepless master.
Oddly, I chained myself to the
shackles provided by this tyrant.
It has robbed me of
my life,
innocence,
and ability to run
Away.

I slog, strive, succeed
only in yawning more each day.
Then i feel Dejected, Elated and
Frustrated, Glee Like that
Moron. Nonsensical.
What sin have i committed
to deserve this death penalty?

Pounding and palpitating,
the clock sends ripples of urgency,
down
my
spine.
As time gently ticks,
so does this pen furiously race to the
end of this poem.
Was there a finishing line?
Maybe i ran pass it...
I finally stop,
and question myself...
Who am i, now?
Has the day just begun
or has
it
ended?

2009-09-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

Mr Kelvin Sim asked, "How many of you are procrastinators? Raise your hand."
Wayne then turned to me and said, "I will raise my hand later."

--

Memoirs of a bugger...

I wish

i can be at Esplanade enjoying some form of visual art
i can be some where eating something that shocks my taste buds
i would be sitting in a plane flying to somewhere else on earth
i get into airforce and learn how to fly a plane
that i can stop studying now, at least not by haunted my notes
i can weave poetry that people quote
i read so much more of the bible
stay over at all my friend s place
play frisbee and smile like the sun shines
go to mission trip and witness God's awesome Hand move!
drink a nice cup of hot chocolate
to skate in skate park
get to take photos that i just have to smile
that cell group can spend more time together, going out eating and lala
i stop wishing and live like more than a conqueror
i will feel liberated to go to explore the internet and not be stuck at those few sites
i could just sit at the airport and look at the planes fly
i could just sit at a hotel and enjoy the couch
i could watch and wach so many movies...
i could go to the beach and enjoy the sun, sand, day
i think about God more.

i meet these following people..if possible all by tmr...

Chai. Abel. Jolynn. Joy Seng. Nat Yeo. Adam Aw. Audrey Lim. Jilly Girl! Geraldine Kong!
Joshua Sho!
...(Please fill in your name if you miss me and want to see me soon.)

...

--

The airforce computerised test is the most difficult test i ever sat for.

2009-08-24T22:57:00.001+08:00

Sit still.
Still seat.
Silence sat.
In this moment, all is...
Still...
Seating...and
Silent...

...
The ellipsis was the speech
Of Silence
If it had a voice
Whispers would not be its tongues.
But...
Mysterious its first name.
Inferences its middle name.
Suspending its last name.
Silence is...silver.

Silence sat still.
It stared at me.
Glared at me.
Then...screamed at me.
SHUT UP!
Silence!

Silence broke its mask.
Screeching through her sealed lips.
It spoke. Up.
Against me.
Against my doings.

Silence, could stay still no longer.
...could hush no more.
The seat toppled.
My...me...
Has caused silence to suffer
From insomnia...
Silence, will only sleep...
When I stop doing work.

If only i kept still...
Sat still...
Stop. Stop The Thinking.
Silence would have remained...
Silent.

2009-08-21T19:20:00.000+08:00

Sangeetha inspired the following analogy.

A level s is like a ten course meal. Each paper = one dish. Currently...we are only eating the peanuts on the table while we wait for the first dish to arrive. Peanuts = Prelims.

Oo...I highly anticipate each dish :D

2009-08-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

Too much work, Too little play.

While playing i think about work.
While working i think about play.

I am actually doubting the effectiveness of compact extended time table...i have yet to hear anyone singing praises about it. Nope not even the teachers...
We have earned their sympathy.

I find my work's quality reducing simply because i have grown apathetic towards work.
There needs to be a remedy...

God s grace is sufficient.
More than enough.
We always have this idea that His grace is in slight excess to the struggles we go through, but God showed me the magnitude of His grace in contrast to my struggle.

My faith is like a raft out in the open sea, battling against the raging storms.
Some days i believe this is possible, seeing the sunlight again is possible.
Some other days i believe otherwise.
I hope God is the one building and crushing my confidence...
I would not want anyone or anything else to handle my growth in character.
Only God is trustworthy enough.

Maybe the deal is to let go, and just hold onto God.
Let go of all results, eventualities, outcomes.
Just get close to God which seems so much more attainable than straight A s.

The beauty of Innova is that we dont withhold information from one another.
The best student is never too proud to not teach those weaker in any particular subject.

Up is one of the three cartoons i absolutely fell in love with.
It made me think so much...about how we lost our lives to work.
How we lost our dreams to our lives.
How as we grow older...our spirit of adventure is silenced.

AirForce...I so pray i get in, but only according to God s will.
I believe wherever God brings me, its for the best.

What is truth?
Does facts = truth
Is truth an unchanging fact?
Permanent and established?

I pray for the suicidal to stop suicidal thinking. Amen.

2009-08-17T22:06:00.000+08:00

I sent this message out today...
If today is World Giving Day, what would you give me, and why?
An Yu replied...I would give you encouragement.
That resonated in my head for a long long time.
It made me smile, and it is the line of the day.

I am beat...I am a child of God...so this is still possible.
I have no idea how the week will go on...because this is only monday.
Compact extended timetable kicked in, not as bad as i thought, but still draining nevertheless.

I would described myself as...speechless, at the same time...trying to keep my brain from spewing and bursting to bits.

My imagination has took me to so many places, though i may still sit on one chair.
To somewhere else on earth, eat something nice, do something fun, meet new people...the imagination never stops...as long as this workload dont sleep, my imagination continues to churn candy for my mind.

Each day is one step closer to A for each subject...I am growing apathetic towards doing work for tutorial and lectures...I see it as a 'Houston we are going down' shoutout.

Today during lunch, hectic for the beginning, but i found myself with ten minutes to spare...work was the last thing i would like to be engaged in...
I asked Wayne for his bible...
:D
10 minutes with God in a canteen, though not the best place, but i guess i got to breath the God breathed word.

Celestial.

Philippines, 24 nov, one day after my A level ends.

2009-08-08T00:19:00.005+08:00

You matter.
Because someone loves you.

--

07/08/09
I played till my heart s content.
No regrets.
I threw away one whole day to spend time with classmates who matter, and at a computer in a lan shop.
The best part was that class outing was at airport.
The next best part was that I am getting good at L4D.
Good = on a normal distribution owning any random player.
I miss a certain group of friends.

I miss Daddy God.

We all need great photos!
An awesome gift from God to us would be our smile.
It is commonly seen in photos.

Seeing someone smile makes your day brighter

Smiling is addictive!

--

Being in 6 different places.
All in 6 breaths.
And one blasting imagination!

2009-07-27T22:54:00.002+08:00

I shared cab with a stranger wearing the same uniform as me today.
As wayne puts it, a common creed makes everything possible.

She later turned round and said thank you, but truth be said, i should be saying that back to her. If not for her suggestion, i did be late, and start the week off on a wrong note.

--

I went to Venezia for Dark Chocolate...
Took me 20 minutes for waiting 67 to get me there, and then another 20 minutes of waiting for 67 to get me home.

--

I killed a snail unintentionally as i tread through the lush grass.
I guess God created snails to teach us quite a lot of lessons...
Be patient with those slow in thinking and movement.
Slow down in life, enjoy the trail.

One step at a time...One paper at a day.

God, 12 more weeks.

2009-07-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

Reading Chang s blog somehow always trigger me to think, and push certain buttons in my heart.

I listened to a suicide song today.
Amazingly i remember the chorus, because i suck at remembering lyrics.

The song that is currently playing, is by Barely Blind. Purevolume.
All i want is, a little peace, a little time, to reconcile, all the miles of mistakes that i have made.

Inch by inch i move towards A levels, and getting straight A s.

The A level certificate wont change the world. And if it cant change the world, it cant change my life.

2009-07-18T00:41:00.001+08:00

Two awesome stop motion films!

:D

2009-07-15T23:44:00.004+08:00

Procrastination will destroy.
Discipline will hurt.
Dreams will inspire.

I am...
I am who God created me :D
There is so much to me, because i reflect His infinite glory.

For one, i love life.
I love God and all that He blessed me.
Yeah even all the trails and pain.
It was necessary to shape me.

--

God questioned me many times...on the bus.
God, "Give up your seat for that elderly."
Me, "He/She doesnt have white hair...They might reject me...They are standing too far from me..."
My excuses were plenty...
Then God destroyed them all...
You are just afraid of giving up your seat.
If you are so afraid of giving up your seat, how will you give up your life for Me?

What about you?

--

I blacked out during CMPB check up.
When they drew my blood.
The injection...2 of them...sighs.

I am dying every second.
Just that i am not done dying.
So i am not dead yet.

--

I am so collecting my memories.
And i think life isnt fast...because i am enjoying the aroma life exudes.
Each memory...proves that life is long.
The more memories you have...the longer life is.

One last lap.

--

Whats enough?

2009-07-05T12:31:00.003+08:00

All men are created equal

Human Rights from Alexandros Maragos on Vimeo.

Black white leaves things raw.
Human rights celebrate colours, and at the same time denounces it.
Paradoxical, yet when seen at different angles, different perspectives arises, it then becomes comprehensible.

2009-06-28T21:29:00.003+08:00

Carol + Bryan

carol + bryan's // stillmotion special edition sde // NY from StillMotion on Vimeo.

This is why i want to get married :D
And the music totally rocks!

2009-06-26T00:09:00.004+08:00

I made a new friend. Maybe.
Over a funeral wake.
Not the best of places for an introduction.
She is...a close friend, of two of my close friends...
Her dad passed on due to some unfortunate accident.
It was not a car accident, it was one of those days when you wake up, get out and live your life, and someone just decides to take it away from you.

I showed up because...
I wanted to let her know, people still care.
I wanted to be human, stop mugging and care.
I am human.
I care.

I hope my action made her smile.
I want to know I spent one night making someone's life brighter.
To give her one more reason to smile.

--

Take a breath.
Feel alive.
Smile.
Imagine.
Life is beautiful.

Think.
Think about the all those times,
all the days...that...
you smile like you've never smiled that way.
A smile of freedom.
Fresh.

Think about those days...
when you hit the sack...
you say to yourself,
"I so not want this day to end.
I wish i could relive this day.
Do it all over again."

Yup..
Go!
Go think/feel all those days that sticks to your memory so stickily...
That you wish you could relive that magical, sensational day.
And feel the awesomeness of it once more.
So that smile would be drawn on your beautiful face, one more time.

One of the best days of my life...
was Nat's 18th birthday.

--

I believe that Jesus is truly the only way
I celebrate Christmas because it’s His birthday

Owl City - The Christmas Song

--

Just one more reason to smile.

2009-06-24T13:21:00.004+08:00

TYPOGRAPHY!!!

Conceptualize my thinking.

This is cute.
But to enjoy the fullness of the message you gotta be a little patient.
But the concept was intriguing.

This makes you think.

This really really makes you think...
And its really good typography.

This is kinda cool...

Cool effects.
The colour changes are woosh woosh.

Something really simple.
But this applies to so many of us as Christians.

2009-06-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

This is why local music industry should really take flight
:D

The lyrics is kinda funny and her voice rocks anyway.
And the Jesus sticker rocks! :D
Oh i talked to her in person before :D
Pardon the quality though.

2009-06-13T00:56:00.006+08:00

After watching more of my favourite videos...

This is one really interesting advertisement.

For music lovers, gotta watch this.
It was eye opening.

For the English freaks out there including me.
This is for you!
And a lot of times i think about the minor problems in life, then i think about how it pales in comparison to poverty.
The back part is slightly disturbing.
Not all images are real though.

I know this is spammage...But...
I guess this blog has turned into a place where people who are bored and looking for something interesting online.

So here more adverts...

This is rather...impressive

This is cute.
It takes a bit to get the message.

Beware the next 2 adverts are not for young kids, or people who cant take...a little more than usual exposure of the human flesh, but honestly, really really creative adverts.
Then again it shows how advertisers constantly use sexuality to win their viewers over.

--

Lan after PlayMax.
Almost cleared the entire team in CS today :D
Woosh.
1v9
The last one got the better of me.
Switching from Carbine to Pistol to AK in the short time frame of about 10 seconds, i shot 8 virtual terrorists.
I am a virtual hero!

--

Nicodemus is exceptional.

2009-06-11T01:34:00.004+08:00

This is just 25 seconds of your life.
It is the same person singing all 8 parts.
And this is why your mouth should open!

For guitar/music lovers.
This is how guitar somehow blows your mind away.
Pardon the horrendous english, its 1.37am, and i haven bathed.

For art lovers.
YOU JUST HAVE TO WATCH THIS!
The ending might be a little disappointing, but the concept totally rocks.
I hope by now my viewers know i only put up videos with high conceptual value.

Awfully chocolate :D

2009-06-04T00:45:00.013+08:00

I am being seriously random.
Selecting nice photos, and telling you how it relates to me.
One way or another.
3 lines is all that each photo gets.
Nothing more, Nothing less.
I hope this makes your day for next few minutes.
Immerse yourself in each photo.
Enjoy its beauty.

This is my desktop background.
'Holiday' was the first song that played the last time i set my Ipod on shuffle songs.
I love the blue.

I have been watching quite a few films.
I love the reflective afternoon lighting.
I want to do film photography :D

Time is always a gift.
This is how the holiday will whizz pass me as i mug.
I think time is the most beautiful creation by God.

I have been eating this vegetable the past few days.
It went to Ann Siang Road with me today, accompanied by Rachel Chong.
Saw the swing attached?

Permutations and Combination.
It is Odd that there are Evens in this photo.
I want to play board games once A levels is done.

I was skating in the rain early this morning.
It was awesome looking at your own reflection while rolling away.
It was so cool and the sense of tranquility was sensational.

I stood on the train rails Two days ago.
I was thrilled at the sight of the iron horse 2 years ago.
I want to sit on a train and travel, once A levels is done.

Do you feel like this man, his dreams flying away?
It looks so unrealistic, yet gives a whole new dimension to the photo.
I want to see the clouds in its vast magnitude soon.

This is a self portrait of the photographer.
Grown kid immersed in a childhood fantasy, I miss that.
I like to sit at a playground and chat with a close friend till sun sets.

Do you feel indecisive, and undecided?
I love girls who wear sneakers.
Cool, easy going, and simplicity evokes elegance.

One of my all time favourite photos.
Child like innocence behind bars.
The sun is shining ahead of the child.

:D

2009-06-01T22:20:00.002+08:00

Friends are a disappointment, acquaintances are surprising.

I may have anticipated things falling apart, but I never anticipate the emotions that are coupled with it.

2009-05-31T20:52:00.007+08:00

Sweet whispers and shy gestures...

Here are specific general (Quoting from Miss Yao) details of my life the pass 4 days.

I shaved my mustache and beard (If it can qualify as one) on Wednesday night.
Hence i have embraced my manhood.

I watched,

I Am Legend on Thursday nigh
Ocean's Twelve on Friday night
Half a Little Miss Sunshine on Saturday night
Batman - The Dark Knight today

My fan spoiled this morning.

I uploaded 2 albums of photos on facebook.

I am praying hard that my dad will get a DSLR for me, ops the family.
I want to take photos, and live life the way i can smile freely.
I want to carry out my social experiments, which can be crazy fun :D

I held an infar red weapon last night, and was legally allowed to shoot my cellmates, and in vain since they walked out alive after 10 minutes of fierce confrontation.
I am going back to laser quest again.

I want to get a new bag, and maybe new shoes, even though i am not living in poverty.

I am going to start cooking my meals and prove to thia, national body builder that i have the discipline to slim down even more :D

My forehand and backhand has seen breakthroughs :D
Covering 50 metres is now normal.

Somehow my switch ollies look nicer than the goofy ones.
And now skating regular seems more natural than goofy, which seems odd.

--

I would like to reinforce this solid fact.
Doing nothing = Doing something.
To do nothing is to be doing something.

--

We are asking for so much more.
And that so much more that we are asking for, is so much less.

--

Somehow your voice and gestures still ring clear.

--

This is my story.
This is my song.

2009-05-28T22:54:00.001+08:00

This is so cool! :D
No seriously, it is cool.

2009-05-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

10 Facts
1. Your reading my comment
2. Now your saying/thinking thats a stupid fact.
4. You didnt notice that i skipped 3.
5. Your checking it now.
6. Your smiling.
7. Your still reading my comment.
8. You know all you have read is true.
10. You didnt notice that i skipped 9.
11. Your checking it now.
12. You didnt notice there are only 10 facts

I saw this off a youtube comment.
Amusing.

2009-05-26T22:02:00.004+08:00

I want a holiday.
I want a nice holiday with my clique.
Stay overs and touring around Singapore, camera in hand, smile on faces, and liberation at heart.
Just 4 days, 4 nice days is all i am asking for.

Currently i have these to finish by tomorrow, 7am:

Case Study VJC, Revision package
Econs consultation second draft essay
Maths consultation TYS Maccluarin's
Essay Que 5 - Trade/International Economics
2 more Essay questions from Revision package econs
Maths Normal distribution 24B - Approximation

If i ever complete all of the above, it would be 6am in the morning with no sleep
:D

A Pseudo holiday in 3 days time.
Slippers tmr in school :D

Song bird rocks!
I didnt know it was a web browser till i decided to tweak around with it today.
Downloading music again has been brought to a new dimension :D
Some of the best music i heard came from SongBird anyway.
Sneaky Red by Mice Parade is a good example.

For now, kickflips still rolls.

One day at a time, closer to death, closer to Heaven and Jesus's face.

--

I wake up each day,

to go back to bed,

at the end

of the day.

2009-05-23T00:27:00.003+08:00

This kid puts me to shame :(
8 year old ollie-ing down ? flight of stairs.
I wonder if i can even do half the things he did.

Come on it is just 12 seconds.
This is my favourite skater!
If i am not wrong he is just one year younger than me.
First runner up after Sheckler would be Mullen.

2009-05-20T20:57:00.006+08:00

The first is rather interesting.
The second has been one of the best short videos i watched in my life.
The third a very interesting modernistic animation of little red riding hood.
The films speaks for themselves.
Trust me they are worth your time!

Reasons to watch

Understand what kind of videos captivates me.
Each video is approximately less than 3 minutes, besides Snicker s bar.
Seriously, they are given 5 stars for a reason.

Cloning a snicker s bar blindfolded

Another perspective

Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny

--

Some photos from the NMA lab.
These are from the lens of a photographer we outsourced for our sportsday event.
The photos looked so splendid, it just doesn't seem real anymore.

2009-05-16T22:59:00.013+08:00

We worship the One who weighs the oceans with His palm.
We worship because He has a reputation.
The immensity is rather incomprehensible, and explicitly vague.
He is not the king of the Universe for nothing, His grace is far exceeding than 5 letters.
Yet some of us stand in the presence of His people, being passive, and not paying any tribute.

Our attitude stinks.
I wish we stop toying His grace.

--

Today i ran.
I ran after a bus.
And the entire bus stop fixed their attention on me.

As described by Sangeek," You ran, SUPER FAST. I was like WHOA. My whole bus stop was looking at you. And then you caught the bus then the lady beside me smiled proudly like you were her son or something. That in itself was so funny."

--

I had a gay outing last night.
Here are some gay camwhoring.
This is what 4 st gabs guys is capable of doing.

It may not seem that big, but look at the two blue mayonnaise holders. Yes its that big.

"I cant believe its that big!"
But my muscles are bigger!

Pls, for all guys out there, this is a body builder who invested in his muscles for the past 5 years. It is okay if yours are smaller.

When eating at Fish and Co was completed
Our thinking cap in place...

And then at Udders...

What is he trying to do?

Our gayness turned one notch up.
Bear in mind, this was all done in a public eating ice cream sphere.
We did a rather interesting activity.
It was as if we were doing a shampoo advertisement.

1st prize

Goes to Adam!

And 2nd prize to...

Me.
Woots~!

3rd prize to Edwin thia

Sorry if you caught a hint of his biceps, he cant restraint himself.
He always tries to show off his muscles.

And the first prize from the last :D

Ajeeja!
Ahhh!!!!

Edwin lifted two cows!
He is so strong!!!

--

Practice patience.

2009-05-12T17:02:00.008+08:00

Kickflips!

I finally learnt how to do/master kickflips.
Thanks Daddy :D for teaching me the simplest kickflip principle, drag all the way and flick out only with the foot.

Woot!

I was reminded that was one of the items i thought it was impossible to be done for me. Today i can strike it off from the list.
I guess God is still going to hold my hand through all the way to A levels.
In the end its what is graded on the certificate that is important.

A little sparkle of faith.

--

I said this to Gerah yesterday, i left as a comment...

It isnt necessarily bad now that you think more, just dont forget to give your heart a chance speak up.

I guess i spoke from my heart, and for myself too.

2009-05-12T00:07:00.003+08:00

I saw this on geraldine chang s blog (Gerah)...

I was slightly taken aback to be given the title, the spine, but i wont deny it, i knew this dear cell leader was new, needed help desperately, and i gave all that i could, and a lot of times i felt i gave what was more than my call of duty.

At times i felt that i was sort of leading cell all alone, with no backup, and no equipment, but i harbour no regrets.

[

It’s amazing how this cell started. With- the spine, Zheng Yi. Along came Yong Sheng, laura, Issac. Then Daniel, Shermaine, Jamie and Candice, Luke. Now so many of them. Raphael, Kaiteck, Julius, Josaiah, Petrus, Casey, Issac, Jean, Jolene, Arica, Shervon, Clement, Justin, Darren, Dylon, Desmond. Not forgetting my greatest support Abby and Aaron. Thank you for being with me, with God, with this cell. I look forward to seeing more and more of them graduating. Not only that.. graduating from this cell knowing that their life was transformed. Becoming trail blazers.

Yes, sk3 is bonded. I hope to see even more sense of belonging in each of them. At the same time, not becoming a social club or something exclusive. Any youth who step into the cell will feel so at home, to share and not wear a mask. Not only that, God’s love in this cell will overwhelm them as well. Let this cell group move and discern with the voice of God and not man. We’ll start to soar, like the wings of an eagle.

Thank you for changing my life all you people. You reaffirmed my calling.

]

I miss my life when i was 15 and 16, they were nt great years, but i miss the people then.

I miss places, i miss stayovers, i miss those who i used to treasure so much more.

I sort of miss sweetness, but i love my life now too. Even though JC life can have an incessant flow of work, but the social life here rocks.

I've grown,

I've changed,

But I remember.

2009-05-10T20:02:00.005+08:00

This photo is called...

Thinking about donuts

And this is called...

The Adinaut II

2009-05-07T21:09:00.009+08:00

If asking for more is wrong.
Consumerism only amplifies our greed, and our ignorance towards those who starve.
Justice is not served.

--

Deviant art intrigues me.

For Animal lovers.

For Soccer lovers.

For Food lovers.

For Piano lovers.

This totally blew me away.
Something so simple, yet so stunning in its colours and its concept.

For people who love dots/feet/blankets/sleeping.

I wonder which captures more emotion.
I think both photos are great, but it induces different moods.
I think i will stick with the black white.

--

Waling across this lush green field.
To my destination.
When i reach there, i know my journey ends.
At the same time, my feet will never walk across this lush green field again.
For now i shall enjoy walking, and keep smiling, even though its been a long long walk.

2009-05-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

Mdm Chitra called upon the terminology Gods, and i learnt the worship of...
Farce, Satire, Parody, Lampoons(My favourite), aphorisms, epigrams, maxim.

We browsed through some of Oscar Wilde's epigrams, and were totally blown away by his wit, or left having our brains denatured from overheating...

Some of the epigrams i instantly fell in love are:

Only the shallow know themselves.

Time is a waste of money.

To be premature is to be perfect.

Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.

A truth ceases to be true when more than one person believes in it.

In examinations the foolish ask questions that the wise cannot answer.

The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything.

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.

A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.

Action is the last refuge of those who cannot dream.

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. (My favourite of favourites)

Everyone who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

I am the only person in the world i should like to know thoroughly.

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

It is a very sad thing that nowadays ther is so little useless information.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad, People are either charming or tedious.

Philanthropy is the refuge of the rich people who wish to annoy their fellow creatures.

Popularity is the one insult i have never suffered.

Punctuality is the thief of time. (Great excuse for late comers)

Sometimes it takes courage to give into temptation.

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray.

There is no sin except stupidity.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Whenever people agree with me i always feel i must be wrong.

There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

It is okay if your brain has denatured by now.
Mine did too, this is less than one third of the epigrams i have at hand.
I put up the ones that are easier to understand.

--

This is an attempt to bring you back to sanity.

2009-05-04T23:14:00.017+08:00

In JC, our confidence is broken.
Again and again over.
It comes to this point, where we slowly understand what real confidence is.
And as we draw nearer to this new confidence, we find ourselves better prepared for the end.
When the end reaches, there are three groups of us...
The filled with confidence.
The anything goes.
The lacking in confidence.

I did like to be the first.

--

I believe we all have...

ourselves.

to

.

To

.

To think, inquire, create, inspire

, to fill this place with colours, thoughts and feelings.

To perform, proclaim, incite, and induce

.

To be awed, enriched, and ready

.

So

Just

.

At the end some are left with a...

But i know that wont be me, because...

I will leave this place...

smiling.

2009-05-03T23:37:00.001+08:00

The irony of photography.
The sacrifice of one life in an attempt to prevent the same mistake from happening.
Moving/Shocking/Disturbing.

Beş Dakika Çok Şey Anlatıyor
Uploaded by tenkafesi

2009-04-30T23:31:00.004+08:00

I need a good long sleep.

--

I love my epigrams.
I said this some time last year.

Your

calling

is

calling.

2009-04-28T23:38:00.004+08:00

Inundated.
Flooded, and drowning in work.
The remedy?
As wayne says, some days you just need to sleep and do no work.
Never seemed like an option to those who care to strive for good grades?
It is starting to appear to me as an option.

Miss yao lamented how we still have 4 - 5 more weeks to face before the end of school term.
As much as i share her sentiments, i would not like to live life that way. Rushing into the end of the suffering.
Suffering can be sweet, it is just a matter of perspective.
It does not need to be self deluding, it just needs a choice to have a positive attitude.
32.5 marks for a GP test that i wrote...JOEY just wants to get this done and over with.
Yes it was supposed to be over and done with, i was that beat.
Honestly thank God for this shocking result.
AQ hit 6, breakthrough.
Summary for the 8th time in a role 3.5 marks.

START
STAR

I want to enjoy JC life, yet the work makes it barely survivable.
For those who are sleep deprived, you are not alone.

--

Bringing delight to Him.

One Step At A time.

--

My head is starting to get fried.

Soon i do crazy things like the following.

And any further agitation would result in such an expression.

Oh...

Whatever.

2009-04-24T00:18:00.002+08:00

On the way home, i met Nah at the bus stop.
Me, "How was it like when you were J2?"
Nah, "It was both fun and Hell."

Who couldn't agree more.
I will one day step out of IJ and not be able to have so many friends in one designated location, hoping from one clique to another, and on that same day, no more insane workloads.

Soon...
Soon...
In the meantime
Savour...
Savour...

2009-04-22T23:55:00.003+08:00

Some words ring louder than others.
And those words usually hurt.

Careful...words cut.

--

I wonder if i am better at bearing grudges now.
There are many checks i should conduct within but i don't have the time...
Not yet...
Bible reading plan is starting to prove to be quite a challenge.

I want to thank God for allowing me to get to the bus stop before it poured.

--

11.47

2009-04-21T22:20:00.006+08:00

I read these two poems for PC lit essay and got rather disturbed...

Elegy for My Father, Who is Not Yet Dead - Andrew Hudgins

One day I’ll lift the telephone
and be told my father’s dead. He’s ready.
In the sureness of his faith, he talks
about the world beyond this world
as though his reservations have
been made. I think he wants to go,
a little bit - a new desire
to travel building up, an itch
to see fresh worlds. Or older ones.
He thinks that when I follow him
he’ll wrap me in his arms and laugh,
they way he did when I arrived
on earth. I do not think he’s right.
He’s ready. I am not. I can’t
just say goodbye as cheerfully
as if he were embarking on a trip
to make my later trip go well.
I see myself on deck, convinced
his ship’s gone down, while he’s convinces
I’ll see him standing on the dock
and waving, shouting, Welcome back.
.

The following poem is actually 4 stanzas, with 4 lines each.

Long Distance - Tony Harrison

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in. You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call.

I was wondering why was it so difficult to understand, and then i realised it was RJC prelim 2007.

I still dont catch the 2nd poem's last stanza.

The only conclusive inference i made thus far, is that both personas are insane.

And i love the ending of both poems, or at least poem A.

I favour cyclical poems, most of the time.

It is still possible to write out an A essay, in fact not too difficult once i understood both poems.

I thought our lives would be rather peaceful when alarm clocks lose its rightful place, yet at the same time, chaos would ensue.

Sleeping early seems a near impossibility nowadays.

And why did the pencil and stapler not come home to its pencil box?

Just because i forgot to ask them back...I am for once getting irritated in quite a long time.\

No, it is confirmed, i am annoyed.

Is there a Lost and Found for a lost friend?

2009-04-20T22:58:00.001+08:00

I done something 'brave'
I closed two tabs on firefox...
Facebook, and blogspot.
From today onwards i shall discipline myself to stop using the com so often.
Once a week!

--

Yes is the answer to the question.

2009-04-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

I am still human,
but
He is always God.

2009-04-16T20:07:00.003+08:00

Mistreated.
Some girls in my life should really be more appreciative.

Clearing plates.
Making the effort to talk to you nicely.
(You are the only person whom i make the effort to talk nicely to)
And helping you take your stuff.
For that i am evil.
It has been some months...

If this friendship is too hard to keep, i am prepared to let go of it.

When one is not appreciated enough, depreciation occurs.

It pales in comparison to Jesus...i am making progress though.

--

Joey has two statements on his mind now...
Where is dinner?
(Its 8.09, mum promised to buy back dinner)
And
Modern life is rubbish. Discuss.
(Promo essay he did and got 30)

2009-04-14T23:47:00.006+08:00

Does our lives change us?
Or we change our lives, like we simply change how we live?

I did like to believe it is the first statement that is the primary source of change.
Why change your life when it is nice and comfortable.
Humans are usually not fond of change, since it encapsulates uncertainty and discomfort.

Over time we just get so used to change, that we might have forgot who we are.
Even if we remember, we might have forgotten those who used to be around us.

Today i looked at my friends, and for a few seconds i unconsciously compared myself to them.
I did not feel inferior, i just felt different.
A whisper hints, "Don't use your friends to define yourself. You are a child of God. And God will be the only person to define you."

I guess i am now struggling with humanity as a whole.
How our traits, flaws, character, and talents can so easily morph without us knowing or noticing.

--

Truth be said, i miss a lot of people. In fact tons.
I miss everyone i see.

I wonder how it feels like to see a friend slip by your hands, beyond your reach, and change beyond recognition.
Or simply they changed so much, we are too afraif to face up to it all.
It is as if, someone decide to 'mechanically agitate' the friendship till it is left in shreds, a distorted fashion.
I miss my classmate.
I miss those whom i used to think of.

I dont really miss myself, as in, my old self.
I am extremely contented with my growth, and i did love to live with the growth.
And till this point, i did like to say, i think i changed the most.

--

I am here.

--

At the end of the day...
I am simply reminded...two thing remains constant in every human,
Our need to be loved,
And Our ability to love.

I was hence reduced to this ONE line...
We are all different, yet similar, unique yet identical.

2009-04-13T19:56:00.004+08:00

Thanks a million to Wayne and his cake.
Was kinda shock that he actually brought an entire cake to class and everyone celebrated my birthday during GP lesson.

Later on we generated positive externalities to our teachers and went to find mr cho, who was absent.
Wayne said he had an extended weekend.
We called Mr Lin out and gave him our cake.
He was shocked since his real birthday was last Thursday when we receive PW results.
So it was rather coincidental.
It was as if we stalked him.

Thanks Diyana for the breadtalk cake, which was really nice of you :D

Facebook does wonders.

I have to admit i feel pressured that so many people remembered my birthday, now I have to remember theirs.
And i am bad at remembering birthdays, really bad.
Chai is testament.
Only if you are...the conditions are too many.
Hee.

This was cell ice breaker s on saturday.

Notice Xiao Ye was not blind folded.
Xing Yu and Edwin Chia are april birthday boys too :D

Sangeek made this for me :D
Which i think totally rocks!

I was really feeling that way, after they spun us so many times around the spinning thing in the playground.
Was extremely giddy.

Group shot 1

Group shot 2

They are praying that i work harder.
Jill i wore the shirt you gave me :D
But it was so freaking comfortable in such a hot day, and i sweat like a pig.

Mu xin and his extra fingers.
Thanks Elvin for the shots.
Designed by Sangeek, not a style i fancy, but i really really appreciate it so much.

Mu Xin and his extra leg!
I may look that way, but my stomach was still hurting from the spinning.
I had laksa and ice milo for lunch less than an hour before i experience the spinning.

--

I just found out that Gabriel, my new classmate knows Edwin Thia personally.

--

For one day, I am led to believe that I can wish for anything, and it will come true.