KIDDO = kiddy attitude...

ok...was thinking over what you said today. kiddo trying to raise a kid.

i think to a certain extent you do make some sense. but as i think more. i think there is this amazing thing about a parent. when couples become parents, the kiddo in them is somehow passed on to the next generation. or in a way its being hidden, because a child, in my opinion has absorbed all their attention, and the kiddo in them is lost in someway.

or maybe the word hidden is a better word. i think we all grow up, but the kid in us remains there? just that we dont display it as often.?. like we gain more knowledge and become more mature, but what was in us previously has not left, but instead found another spot in our character, and personaility, whichever it is.

and as my train of thoughts progresses, i thought of my parents. where is the kid in them? think the kid is still there, just that, they dont show it to me, or in a more technical term, do not display it. yupz. and in history we learn the LORMs. so i was trained to think further.

now i am somehow intrigue to know more about your life, (and i do mean it. haha)
what kind of kiddo you were when you were in my years.
what has changed in you?
what has remained>?
what would change when you make the decision to bring a new life in to this world?
what changed when it is brough it in?
is the kiddo still there?

hmm....then my complicated and amazing brain directs me to think of the grandparents.
is there still a kid in them?
i guess so. i think in a family it might or might not be hard to show the kiddo in everyone of all the generations.meaning parents child, and grandparents, but usually i think in our culture, the 'kiddo' is hidden. we are constantly nagged at, and all the endless...zzz...but still i think all our parents can be really lame, funny, and do things that we never imagine our parents will ever do? and it is at this precise moment that we realise how much alike are we from our parents. becuase the very fact is that we are part of them. not only in terms of bone and flesh, but in personaility as well.

the elements that holds us together, and gives us substance. do come from our parents too. it is this unspoken common link of both a parent and a child that makes a family unique in its own beautiful ways.

maybe we all yet to be parents people think of how our kids would turn out to be. i think what would make things easier is to find the comon link between yourself and your child.
more importantly find yourself in your child. for they are your reflection s .
find the element that you deposited into your child. and cherish what has piece your child together and apperciate your child as a whole...

now it explains why all parents have high hopes on their child. thats because we as the child is what they hope to see in themselves. sometimes the reflections are illusions. and sometimes the reflections are not what they hope to see.

guess we all must appreciate the differences and similarities in ourselves.

love is what binds two together.

alright. like left house at 8? jammed? like eee love rain but hate what it does. haha. only like the cooling effect. wish can control the rain. then not so many raindrops fall on me? haha. cool right? like a remote control, but now its a rain control. so you turn the knobs to adjust the amount of raindrops per metre square. the velocity of each raindrop and the newton force it posses. kinetic energy. oh ok. this is what happens when you study too much. muhehahahe

yupz. reach the tiny CCAB stadium at 8.30. then like the first row of seats were already half wet. but like who cares man. you yourself wet already so just sit lah. no difference. then wait and wait. rain continues. then got this wonder woman who ran and ran in the rain, think she ran for about 4 km? in the rain... continuous? like pro lah!!! think she is going to be a PE teach. yupz.

ok then i was one of the few that sat at the far right which is the nearest to botanic garden. so departed at around 9 ba? then only the first group that departed got the chance to walk pretty far. the other groups only like walk a round around the swan lake. if i am right? haha. but fun lah. walking in the rain. the thing is that we were suppose to like have treasure hunt or something, but rain so just walk lah. whee. then charan and leonard cheng sing....like eeyer. cannot make it. but aiyah when guys walk in the rain we can go really high. and all the gayness start appearing. when we go umberlla hoping. ppl start saying ee.... gay go away. but in the end we still share umberalls lah. whee. let your in on a secret. i think it will be very romantic if i ever get a chance to walk with my girlfriend in the rain. or maybe? dont know. never try. haha. but i enjoyed myself man. ok got back stadium then eat apple. wish happy teacher's day to only a few teachers. mostly those who i didnt get to give the teh or kopi personally. then like hehe haha. feel a bit bad sia. like sherms and hao sheng all give nice present, then i love my teachers very much as well, and then give them 70 cents worth of gift.

thought dont always count. haha. significance of the gift does. hehe.

then went and play lan while waiting for miss goh, she got delayed like 2 hours and only eat with us for less then 1 hour? aiyah but was really fun man. haha. oh i ate at carl's junior only like the milk shake, burger too much for me. ok i ate kebab also, if i am right with the spelling.the kind of food that you put roasted beef or chicken inside a sandwich or trukey prata then put soem sauce with lettuce. simply uplifting. haha. rocks man. argh.. love the taste. like shiok man. 5 bucks. ok lah, if loaded should go for it man. i mean woman. haha. aiyah no sexual discrimination. so both sexes should try.

ok...zzz (fell asleep)


today...is wednesday. i had english prelims. and i expect myself to get a distinction (hopefully) with this kind of language which i would continue using for the rest of the post. simple, short and sweet. the 3 Ssss... whee...

ok i read this thing...it says...never underestimate the power of your actions. with one small gesture you can change a person's life. for better or for worse.

i totally so agree. like totally!!! haha...sss
anyway, why i am telling you this is cause i think its so cool! yeah? haha.

ok. i had this lame idea on monday. came back to school to study with sherman, edthia and a few other friends.yupz. then me and sherms had teh tarik da bao and then we walked into school. then saw mdm foong. then talked about teh. coolzzzy...then decided to treat her.lol.then the idea develops because my mind is great. mu hahahaha. and then decided to treat all my other teachers.

so today on wednesday, after english prelims i went to banana with sherman. and bought 8 teh tarik, 3 kopi, 2 kopi O, 1 horlicks, and one green tea specially for miss ong. yupz. and actually we forgot to buy for jasmine goh, but then mr tan didnt want to drink the kopi, so we made some changes, then manage to give one to ms GOh, have no idea why i forgot about one of my favourite teachers. yupz...anyway she got teh in the end lah.haha.

then so sad, could not find miss leow, miss ong lay pheng (my chinese teach), mdm foong (sherman's chinese teach), plus another 2 teachs. cant remeber. so didnt get to put the smile on their face. or at least see it appear. sighz. but nvm haha

anyway back to the point, i think what i did today has changed my teacher's life, to what extent i have no idea. but i know i made miss pan's day better. she msged me and said was nice of me cos it was what she needed for a horrible day. thanks. yupz. cool right? then miss koh and ms goh, both chio bu s, gave them together, then they were very touched cause me and sherms went through heavy rain, with heavy wind, plus lightning and wah we were soaked then came back to school and gave them the cheap teacher's day present, 70 cents for each teach. but our love was in there. yupz. then ms goh said, wah i feel like preserving the teh, cause all your blood, sweat, and tears, plus raindrops falling on your head. yah i think i want to put in a time capsule. haha. cool right? lol. aiyah whatever lah.

i think i place many smiles on my teacher's face. in this kind of cold weather, drink something warm. it just rocks. yupz. i have made their life improve whee.

IF THIS POST IS TOO LONG CAN GO READ THE PREVIOUS ONE OR THE ONE AFTER THIS. YUPZ. HOPE YOU ENJOY THE COMPLEXITY OF MY LNGUAGE AND THINKING, MY PERCEPTION OF LIFE AND FRIENDSHIP AND THE PARADIGM I HAVE NOW.

graph = person./ living thing
is friendship like a grpah?

when two friends are able to be friends just because there are points of intersection?
and when the point of intersection is lost, the friendship is lost as well?
and as time progresses the graph morphs and changes at the same time.
as all of us are under different environmental circumstances and conditions. the vectors and velocities involve might dictate and destine us for a different destination from our friends.

in other words, GOD has a different and unique plan for all of us.

thus the graph changes, leading to a shift in the plates of frienship. two graphs might lose all intersection and interception points, till there is not solution between these two graphs that they eventaully stop meeting each other, and the friendship drifts apart, and with time as a factor that erodes away what took years to be built and created, the graphs seperate further and further. what is only kept in the memories of these graphs is that both graphs kept in mind of the beautiful times at a cetain time in their existence...

and the truth of the matter is that these graph itself will keep changing. for example a graph of sin x is differentiated into a negative cos x. however, in life numbers are constantly added into these graphs. and hence changing their values.
sometimes the value goes up, sometimes it decrease.
the only thing that is different and irrelevent to life, in the aspect of maths. is that the equation that we derive is not always equal. therefore,
i have just answered the question of why? like
whenver we ask ourselve why this happened? yupz.
or maybe it always balances, its just that you have no idea that it balances. the equation has grown too complex, and complicated and hence you were unable to see the missing number or element that balanced the equation in life.

now in an even more complex manner. might not paint a perfect picture here, but try to catch the motion and the concept i am aobut to explain...

so here is my point, the world has 6 billion plus people. and now, here is the amazing thing, GOD is the origin of the big big graph. in my words, there is 6 billion graphs exisitng simultaneously. and with the help of technology, and the discovery of deeper knowledge and wisdom of GOD's creation, the possibility of a graph that has a limit of -2 to -24 in the x axis and no idea what is the limit of the y axis. meets a graph that has a limit of 6 to 45 in reference to the x axis. this is possible because there is a shift, and somehow this 2 graphs now meet. a friendship created. then time changes. they stop meeting. same limits impose on the two grpahs again. ok nvm if you have no idea what i just said.

anyways, GOD is awesome, to think of the existence of 6 billion graphs, not inclusive of the living things on this earth, or this graph paper. we are all controlled and in GOD's hands. i do not have a chance to explain this concept in detail. however i have shared the jiz of it. and i hope you now acknowledge the presence of GOD and the origin of the graph. for my theory proves the order and organisation GOD has. no one could achieve what GOD has achieve and no one can prove my theory right besides GOD. you are just part of my theory.

but GOD is the origin.

LOL. anyways/...on monday we had the 8th revision test. never study. knew got test but not on this day. so haha with me. anyway i studied for the test during the test. cool right? placed the book on the table, in front of mr foong face. well he never catch me anyway lah. but i didnt make it an open book test. it was half an open book test. LOL. cool right? then the first time i tried doing the test, then like all the electricity plug question dont know how to do. so i decided to read the book once more. then answer the questions. so its half an open book test. cool right?

LOL. and guess what i got 13.5? not alot lah and. some more ownself mark one lah. haha. and you know what adam so cute sia. copy ajeeja paper during test. and we can like talk. and pass the physics textbook around. fun sia/// haha...

LOL.ok today is tuesday right? then we did we do today? aiyah today super slack, never slack so much before. ok nvm today take break. ohzzz. then last night during tuition. my lovely tuition teacher challenge me study 10 hours a day when i have no activities on that day. its opssible and reasonable. sounds crazy. but anyway i am going to try. my goal. is no plan. study finish everything right? continue studying. HAHA. reading chinese book and english book counts. whee. so can take those as a break. but read chinese book means bao zhang du hou gan...aiyah that one also quite sain. haha/ ok 10 hours a day of study,,,

LOL. anyways. go find rani rama. mrs ramen today...whee so fun. sherman towards the end of our discussion with mrs rama. tok out the SA1. paper. then ask mrs rama. then just nice the teachers came out from contact time. then ask mr crawshaw. to come over and like entertain sherman's inquiries. as the discussion continues to progress further. it came to te comprehension part. and sherman was like asking about vocabulary. and what an indirect question. well we asked only a few question. and found out quite a bit of tomorrow' paper. cool right? wheee. ok and i think she is cute and hot. funny and deep. ok janel you know who is it. so shhhh!!!! aiyah she just rocks lah. but i doubt if we would become casual friends after graduation//

LOL. go study english. hehe

what makes you smile?

the smile i am refering to here, is one that warmths your heart, one that helps you find the joys of life.

the answer is simple. the gift of loving others and being loved. as simple as that...
we all want to love and be loved by others.

SPREAD THE LOVE....



tired. well...been mugging a whole lot...and today just received 3 past year prelims paper. i feel that revision is not enough. However the time i have left is pretty evident not eough to finish all my revision. must mug faster. sounds like i went crazy. i dont exactly feel stress...i just feel tired. need a break soon but cant afford one...sainz....run away from life. i want to run away and go on a holiday...away from this crazy world. wouldnt it be nice, to run away from insanity before it runs towards you?
thank GOD for sane teachers. ppl who pushes us on, keep us inspired. and motivate us to go on, press on, dont give in now. sprint finish. these ppl have no need to do so. but yet they stay by our side and run alongside us. and what do we do to them? show our inaapreciation.
i think its true. when they say if you dont do Qt most prob your results wont be as good. why do you go into a battle without your saviour?
DO QT!!! GOD I NEED T IME! ARGH

GOD GIVE us all strength.

some things change.
some things change for the better.
some things change for the worse.

friendships change.
cut off all emotional strings.
friends come and go.
if you are ready to let go, then it would be easier when things change.
but GOD dont change...so take comfort in this.

first 2 periods...chinese...a full blown paper 2.
next 2 periods...physics...mock exam. whole of paper 1 and 2
then poa...suppose to have suprise test, but miss chua in the end just go through with us the test it self...

whee.recess...oh you dont have to know what i ate.

thenz...the following 3 periods...english...whole of paper 1. wrote about despair. think i wrote something more like disappointment...sighz.ok nvm
thennier...a.maths...screwed up the whole test. at least i completed 2 ques...but still suck anyways.
thenniest...suppose to be e.maths...but miss ong still attending to her granny in ICU.so not around. miss her so much. GOD give her the strength to go through this.

ok, anyway my point is that today is super boring.nearly every period is test. so those who arent sec4...brace yourself for this in the future. but maybe you might be lucky enough to avoid this misfortune i am currently facing...

feeling better.BREAK FREE from everything....

accept me.
accept others.
accept yourself
accept this life.

i know its difficult, but accept it.
it would be easier that way.

ARGH!
just cant get her out of my head...is like either she gets out of my life (or mayvbe i should just get out of her life) or i fulfill my promises to her. like as i look at her other kors...i just feel so ARGH!!! like whats these man? what have i done to fulfill anything of the promises i made? its not that i dont want to fulfil but...never ever got a chance to do so... ever felt like your love went to waste?

its fustrating when you want to get something out of your head but you just cant? RGH...

feel that i have miss out alot on life...? you know when you sometimes look at your life and look at others,,, you feel discontent over everything...? wish i wouldnt compare and appreciate my life as it is. GOD teach me to enjoy the things that you enjoy. MY LIFE!!!

hahas, today when i went swimming first time so cold.i know it rained in the afternoon, but doesnt mean need to be so cold right? if i dont keep swimming, i would feel something below shrinking, and if it shrinks too much, it can be quite painful. like someone squeezing it? ok nvm i shall stop elaborating... hehe

yupz, and today i had english orals. hmmz, when i saw the picture i was so shocked!!! it was an englishman dressed in the 18th centuary costume leading a bunch of primary school kids to somewhere. i mean like what is there to say? ok he looks retard, and he is pointing to something i cannot see. and worse of all, my examiners ask questions!!! i mean like i am trained to look at the picture and start speaking without any promting!!! so now they ask questions i lost my whole scaffolding!!! i wanted to say so much and had everything planned out!!! and then they ask me a question, so like my plan was so screwed up!!! sighz...ok but i know i did well over all? i think my reading was at least a merit, and my conversation was WHEE!!!

they asked me what kind of life do i like to have? it was so alive!!! i just rattled on and on, and why they ask questions again? i had sao much more to say, but then they dont give me time to think like for 10 seconds, then ask questions again!!! but overall these two not so good looking and not so young women, were kind, can tell from their face! haha, they wrote a whole lot of things, which should be a good sign lah! hehe.,.,. and then after orals, went ricky's house. watched him play KH2! the graphics simply rocks!!! and ARGH sora look so cool and cute! after O lvls i am going to chiong the game! so cute and like serene, i mean like you are fighting aliens, or big not so scary monster but you hear disney music? so cool loh! haha, and i think would be the first game i played in my teen life that is so peaceful and serene. hehe
then got home and spent so much time sleeping!!! argh! LIKE AROUND 2 HRS? ok going to bathe, eat and mug now, so tata!!!

kiss kiss

ARGH SO TIRED. i feel like i am going to sleep anytime...zzz

anyways, megalympics was boring in the begging because i didnt played in any events or games. haha. the fun started kicking in when the races begin.and it feels good when Your area wins.and you like put your hopes on someone and they did not let you down.yupz.good feeling...hehe.

YESTERDAY AFTERNOON

ok now its 1pm...and adam, edthia, and me went to toapayoh to have lunch. i had chickenchop that cost 4.00 and the chicken is like so much for 4.00, and the fries are so bloody long....and also so much fries. so worth it.hehe ok anyways. thats for lunch...ed thia eat so much, 4.00 of rice and veg, plus a 3.00 meat ball soup.crazy sia...then we parted. adam and me went to PS. edthia obviously go gym lah. where else?

ok at PS adam bought a dream thearte album with a track that last for 42 mins...that is like so long......................................................................................................................................................loh
after that we went to YAHAMA. hehe.he played bass and i played elec...whee. then i went down to trumpet praise to get a book for yong sheng, his bdae present from me. so if you all who read this and dont get him a present ORH!!!!!! haha./lol../ spent like half an hour and cant find a book i had in mind for him. so i just grabbed one within my budget and one with a nice cover and title. hehe..... argh..so pok..

then its 4pm now. and next up is LAKEhouse,,,
oh man the show was like soSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO NICE loh.,..hehe
i felt entranced...and for the next 2 hrs i really felt the emotions of these 2 main characters. and like its astoundingly beautiful in its own ways. argh so cool must go watch...my most memmoriable romantic show...whee....ok thats for LAKEhouse. after the show, of course go home lah so tired liao...haha. obviously not walk home from PS right? aiyah i took mrt ok?


YESTERDAY MORNING

WHEE...yesterday so eventful, like i wake up and prepare myself, and almost immdiately i am out of the house, prepared to face the day.
ok i was pretty desperate to find some person to go out with me to watch lakehouse! and like all the girls i asked, they either say cant, or watched liao...so too bad...sigh.

kzzz anyways, as i said i was desperate, so i tried having last minute dates, as in sms ppl like that very morning hoping someone is free, even though i know my chances are real low. didnt work out, so my desperation up one level.then i started asking classmates. i mean which guy in the right frame of mind go watch romance show with some other guys.
then as it was morning assembly, i saw adam and asked him. ok!
simple as that. it was so coinidental, cause like he also asked 9 different ppl out, then so happened that morning the 9th person cancel appointment. then i appear 10mintutes later after he received his message, and ask wana go out?
COOL RIGHT?!? HAHa

ok that was 7.40 in the morning.

reached SINGAPORE discovery centre at 9am.whee. must put my nation name in caps cause today national day. see i so patrioatic. lol.anyways. i had fun touring the centre. OH i forgot to tell you. ITS THE WHOLE SCHOOL GOING!!!!!!!!! so there were like 43 buses busing the whole school. cool right? but sadly some ppl have to wait first, because the centre not enough sections for the whole school to tour at one go. and i was not one of those who have to wait first...
anyways, we gathered at the foyer or whatever it is. sat down. and then they started giving us bread with egg and lettuce, plus milo. sounds like JESUS feeding 500..hehe. anyway its not that nice lah. we ate because we were bored waiting. lol// not because its nice.

kz. they brainwashed us as usual, i mean what else was the centre built for? 4e1, e2, and e3 were touring together.
then there was this section of like someone sits in front on a chair and like read a script off a screen. was something like a newstelecast. then as we know guys are slowmovers at times. and so the tour guide proclaim, "the last one to sit down, will be the news telecast person." then edwin yeo and gang, asked timothy to remain standing up. haha cause timothy never hear what she said. so he blur blur got chosen without knowing why. was so cute. hehe
then the next section we go he immediately sit down.

later at 10am. we become the ppl who have to wait outside at the foyer.
was so boring, i mean got this old man who comes and try to thrill us with his talk about national service, but aiyah his english seriously cannot make it. poor guy, like everyone laughs at him because of his english. he was trying to say carbohydrate...and it sounded like carbon high rate. so gay.haha poor old man, and it was totally not engaging at all.

so me and edthia decided to go find a toilet in the centre in the hopes of getting 'lost' inside. but ARGH. why they put the toilet right at the entrance so sad. argh. i mean like mr tweng is standing there. then we had no reason to get lost. so we moved on to plan B. sit on toilet bowls and just talk. good way to kill time. this lasted for like 15mins. then like kubarien comes in and joins us.then dickson. then the toilet contains 5 gabrielites, then i lost count... everyone just came in groups. argh. plan B spoiled as well. so much for talking to each other.k then plan C... hang around the shops and buy some food...hehe. that lasted long enough till the next programme.

which is another talk from this guy. but he super entertaining and engagging.it was about some racial harmony and terrorist attack talk.
its true. muslims are taught to love, not to kill. so there is a difference between a terrorist and a muslim. like terrorist abuse the word of GOD, but the muslims follow the word of GOD.
then lots of funny adjectives from him as well. eh chi na gi la...

aiyah basically their message is there should be racial harmony, or else we would be prone to terrorist attacks, of course terrorists attack more than one way lah.
ok thats all that is interesting that happened till 1pm.

woohoo, i had 4 tests today, break record for the first time in my life. and i only studied like 2 subjects the day before. haha...whee and i did all four tests with a smile today :)
only for ss test then did i get a bit bored cause need to think a bit. and what more during ss test, once teacher walks out of the room, people starts to talk, and like literally talking loudly so i found it difficult to do my test. haha this is st gabriel for you. beams...

and before ss test, mr chan came in and annoucned his perfect plan to get us motivated to study. guess what?... he wants to bet with us, betting over our grades. lol. so unheard of... and yes st gabriel has such teachers. cool right? and the higher our grades for each tests, the more money we win. i remember if we got an A1 we would get 16 bugs. cool right? haha... and if we lost, the money would go to class funds...so cool...hehe...and i mean we would only lose 2 bugs...thats like so unfair to him.
also, if you dont bet you have to pay 1 bug for penalty. haha. i really wonder how mr chan is going to collect all the money...but i mean which teacher would do something like that? haha../

and after my ss test, it was amaths period. hehe. our dear beloved mr tan aint that happy today...sigh. oh well. anyways. there was this poor sec1 boy, who burst out in anger and threw his class' rubbish bin. oh guys do this real often, i mean boys. haha. and mr tan saw his absurd outburst, so he has mets his fatal fate... mr tan sumons him to his terror stricken presence, and declared judgement on this young kid. well, we know mr tan did this for the boy's good...and haha, the boy is still taller than mr tan. erm its a fact...yah.
and the verdict was that this boy is to carry the rubbish bin he threw above his head. so now he dont look that short anymore. and poor boy, so embarrasing. cause 3e5 was having practical, and they all saw him, even miss koh got curious and peeped.hehe. but yah. he did what was wrong, and mr tan did what was right...but poor boy...sigh he has my sympathy.

ok this my wednesday, only making an entry cause its like 4 tests and not 3. haha...must let my readers read something cool...