i left waitering! was a whole lot more painful and tiring then i thought. is the toughest thing i ever went through man! physically and slightly mentally.
i know you all wont understand my pain. till you've experienced it.
try thinking about this. you are wearing a pair of lousy leather shoes that does not have flat bottoms. its a bit like a curve at the sole of the foot.
and every step you take is a pain. its like your feet would throb. like pressure added onto your sole. then your heels hurts. every single toes. knees. calves. every milli metre of your skin, flesh and bone around this area just hurts so badly!
and you have to endure this pain for around 7 hrs each day?!? before you reach home and get to allow your butt to a nice comfy chair.
stnading and walking at moderatly quick speed to clear the plates, serve coffee, tea, various beverages. folding napkins.etc, etc. the problem is that we are sort of short of man power. and its a buffet. so on one table you can have to clear up to 9 plates? not only do you have to clear the plates. you have to clear the napkins. glasses. tea cups with saucers. when clearing dont forget these cups are not completely empty. so usually its almost full, cause we always top up their water, till they dont want drink le, we are still 'suppose' to top up the water, so in actaul fact we are just toping up the water so we can pour them away later.plus cutletry! after clear finish these things. have to wipe. then set the table. cup. one knife.one spoon.one fork. one dessert knife and fork. fold the napkin. before you set the table. must get cutlery right? cutlery dont drop from sky correct? get from where? kitchen right? oh need clean and wipe them first right? see my point. dont think its easy man. and so much manual labour for 5.50 and hour. issit worth it? NOPE! its just cheap labour. they call it casual labour, so that it sounds nicer. but was told that my pay exceed the trainees over there. they super poor thing. work 8hrs +++ always OT. and pay for each day is 18 bucks. my pay for each day is about 42 bucks? so arent they like terribly under pay?
water jugs arent like those baskets with the five loaves and fishes. we have to refill them. and yup, we use tap water. i pour like around 8 glasses need fill up already. oh i am sort of to serve about 100 guests? if all the tables are occupied?
see how busy we are? yupz. so its really tough. and carrying the plates is really not easy. unless you do the put on shoulder method. which i didnt dare to do until today. serene gave me the confidence and showed me that its alot more easier. but the scary part is that you carry a tray filled with cups filled with water. or tray with tons of cutlery. meaning forks, knifes. ok whatever tray you carry confirm got these things. so yup...
alright. serene is one fine lady. cause she was super nice to me for the past two days. my colleague la. yupz. she taught me the most, for a non - in charge. and she encouraged me. so yes she is awarded for best employee by me! HAHAH...cause she like guided me through these two days. didnt get to talked to her till yesterday. yup. worked for 4 days! and yes i quit! WHEE. cant tahan the tiredness. and i am not desperate for muni. so dont mind quitting. and i learnt a lot on waitering and the working world. and i jsut drag my feet to work for the past 2 days. and got scolded for stupid things. whihc makes work really sian! but yes serene is one fine lady that made my work a whole lot more beareable! and there is this auntie helen. whom is super old. like 50 plus? her name tag is helen la. but i think she give herself one. she is the one who does the wiping of cutlery. but i always help her when i can. YUPZ. so got to know her. its a pity i dont know her real name. but she has been really nice and friendly to me too! YUPZ. she is the runner up for best employee. HEHE. yup and there were other colleauges that made work more bearable. but usually when i get scolded is because everyone is stress and ya...
ok i got my pay. its not alot. honestly. above hundred. for four days of work. neh...its little. but the work experience i gained is like ALOT!!! i encourage ppl to do waitering for a few weeks. it really builds on character. to me i didnt build on humbleness, cause i am used to serving others. *ushering* but i built on tolerance, perserverance, observance, risk taking. stress handling in a different sense, its not like books. its being on your heels, keeping yourself afloat and keep your beverages served on time. but its difficult, cause at times so many ppl come. then the coffee and tea for breakfast is not enough. and topping up takes ages. unlike water that comes from a tap. so yes...learnt alot. how the systems works. and how the team works together.
i know serene would never get to read this. but i told her before i left that she is what makes my work a lot more nicer. ok i didnt say alot. was a bit shy. i know my skin thick. but i am not spas then so didnt get the word very out! and she is honestly beautiful. as in her feacuters are really nice! face...cannot judge figure cause wearing waiteressing uniform. cant really tell if she is hot. and she looks a little like janel. as in face structure, eye structure. so YAYEE. 'love her' ! haha but you know whom i ....hmm...anyway. i learnt alot! oh out of topic. i dont know what s the topic. its a really really really long post. and oh i visited st gab plus 6 other chiors today. all in st gab for syf rehearsel. so yup. had dinner with conducters.juniors.ex seniors.yup. was a nice night! WHEE.

all right yesterday...worked from 9 in the morning till 11 in the night...and the whole time i was standing...except for lunch hour...didnt eat dinner...didnt had time...yupz...
now going to work from 7 in the morn till 3 in the afternoon...or around there...WHEE...
my legs will tahan!

i love my sunshine too! =)

the dire hunger that pushes around me. silent kitchen and flickering lights. my vision is ensnared by the pain that pulls my mind off its senses. my footsteps are undecisive yet with direction. weak and fumbling, i am slowly pacing towards salvation. the only solvent, antidote that cures the violence from within is milk...
milk that heals the broken nerves and restores the brain to its rightful state. milk added with a flavour that seems out of place. words that lost track and fell from the stairs. written by another hand and in another language. the lights flicker with such indecisiveness and restarin, as if calling out in pain, to release it from its hurt. its life ending yet having to go through the last breathes that stabs its existance...yet salvation is nearing...
i took down the cup, i konw its not mine, i know its not a cup...but heck it...
the milk dont seem right as well, but can i reject my only hope? to feed my dried and crisped lips?
i gulp down, ignoring the taste and awfulness that bit my tongue, maybe it is numb and lost its sense anyway...then a sudden surge broke in my middle. it tore my torso. and my thoughts are seized and i can do nothing to reduce that surge. revolt, rebuke, reject, revulsion that intends to place its crushing claws on my throat...throw it all out. no its my only hope. my ignorance had deceited me, and now its hecking my system.
i saw the date labelled there, strangely though i was losing my senses. maybe they wanted to let me know why i am going to die in just a moment. the very same way like how the ligh flickers. the language and words have somehow morphed back into its orignal form and brought understanding to my feeble mind.
the milk was not white, it was moss green.
the light stop flickering and darkness was my companion.

to let go of myself, to lose in exchange.
to show you my wounds, in order to gain your trust.
to reveal my fears, is to placea knife in your hand.
to tell you that i am bleeding, is to prepare myself to see the shock on your face.
to see the shock on your face, is an emotional pain that edifies the physical.
to heal the physical and emotional pain, is to recover from your shock and give me a smile.
to see you smile, is seeing a glimmer of joy enfolding its warmth on me.

to let go of myself, is to gain something i lost.
to let go of you, is to lose something i gained.
to let go of us, is to lsoe the warmth that keeps us warm.

and they were broken by the frost.

i need passion and zeal for my ministry.
i need to get excited about serving the LORD! and making a difference to the lives around me!
i need to find a way back into the courts of the Lord!
i need to find the fervency in saving one more for Jesus!
i need to find my map. but its hidden somewhere in the desert. but heh! i can ask GOD for a new one.
i need his presence to soak so strongly in my life!
i need to pray like one who claims and owns it!
i need to be more than i was before!
GOD give me something i never had before, something new! something strong and tried!
mold my thinking.!. keep it in the right track. my logic is getting out of hand and lethal!

thou shall not nag on the sabbath! all mothers please take note of the 11th law.
HEE

now what does the world says? what they say may be wrong or is it right? now how do you know if its wrong or right? does not the world once again tell you if what it says is wrong or right?
do you think everything you read, hear, and receive from the media is true, authentic, and as it appears to be? what if i told you that e.g. john didnt kill molly, he was just annoyed at her thus translating his anger into action, resulting in something messy. he didnt kill her, she was mean, and she derserved to get shot, for what she done. she nagged at him for the smallest thing, like not washing the dishes... now have i not played with your thinking in just those few lines? did i not dictate your perception, or in the least slanted it? and you somehow, just have to accept my view point, because you dont even know what really happened. so is the news that you watch everday true? as it is? or is it just the way the reporter sees it? so arent they playing mind games with you now? and now why should you trust the words you are reading? since what i said opposes the authenticity to almost every single thing you absorb into your brain.
make them think, what you want them to think. the agenda setting theory. .. ...
information is power, and i have information in my hands, and i make the calls to what gets fed into your feeble minds with my words.
the media has the power to dictate your thinking, control and subdue it. thus advertising carry out certain effects on the human mind, that those who are feeble in thinking would eventually be subdued under the cluthces of advertising.
oh mass communication might not be so nice after all...

Leaves rose and fell along their path, and they cycled their afternoon away. The sky was colored in a reddish orange shade. It looked like autumn even though its only summer.
“The sky is so big!” jimmy exclaimed, and the grin spread wide across his face.
“Yes the sky is very very big. Then got a lot of clouds, those puffy white things up there.” Jennifer found her grin too.
“I know those candy floss are made from the clouds. The candy floss man catch the clouds and then cut up the clouds and make candy floss from it right? Thats what my daddy told me.” Jimmy gazed at the puffy floss.
“No loh, that’s not how its made, candy floss is not made that way.”
Jimmy felt a prick of hurt. “really meh? Orh, then today in school I learnt that there is something called water cycle. The water from…”
“Oh, the water cycle, I know also!” Jennifer interrupted. “water from everywhere around us is always floating up to the skies, and then it forms small clouds, then the small clouds combine to big clouds, then big puffy white clouds turn into black angry clouds. They look so evil.”
“Why didn’t my teacher teach me that?” puzzled entered.
“Don’t know? Maybe she also don’t know?” Jennifer’s grin widens “I am just so smart! No one is smarter than me. Where are we going ah?”
“No loh, I am smart as well right? ...Am I?” his puzzlement turned into a sense of inferiority.
“I think so. I hope you are. If not later rain you don’t know what to do, then I really not pretty anymore. Wet wet, eeyer...”
The trees always look so comforting and home like. Yet jimmy’s sense of inferiority grew to hurt and jealousy. The leaves changed color, from warm green into amber red.
“Why you so quiet?”
“I think I am stupid.”
The words now couldn’t slip out, maybe there weren’t any words. And they cycled down the road listening to the wheels turn round and produce a repetitive monotonous sound.

Jimmy looked at Jennifer then at the setting sun.
“You look as pretty as the sun.” he pointed.
The magic took place in both of them. “Thank you, Jim my boy. Heh! Haha.” giggles got a hold of them.
“Why do you always call me Jim my boy? I am not your boy. I am my mummy’s boy. Hmph!”
“Because your name got the word Jim and my. So put everything it would give me Jim my boy. See I am so clever.” the magic stayed on.
The wind cut across the field, and the setting sun passed them, and night took its place.
“I like the wind. It’s so windy. Eh! Your hair is blowing everywhere! So cute!”
“I also like the wind, very windy, but I thought whenever got wind means will rain later?”
“Really meh? I thought rain comes when the sky got too much water, need to release the water, or else, a lot of water would pour down, and then so many bad things would happen. And don’t think you will be very pretty after the water splash on you. Wet, wet not nice loh.”
“Eh!” the magic took on a different form. “I am pretty no matter what happens.”
“Come let’s go back now, or else later really rain.”
“Eh! But I want to stay here, the wind is so nice.” Jennifer begged.
“If you go back now, we still can buy lollipop at uncle Sam’s place. Very nice one leh! The sweet so sweet. Then must drink water.”
“I want sweet, but really must go now ah? Cannot stay a little bit longer?” her finger did a tiny whinny sign, pinching them together but yet allowing a small gap between the two fingers and her eyes peering through it.
“Ok. Just a little while.” Jimmy imitates her gesture.
They sat there silent, and the wind whispered into their ears. Though whispers it may be, words were not its medium, instead the sound of nature. The leaves danced according to the wind’s decision, and the leaves danced in swirls and turns, their steps so graceful and neat. The tree that they sat under received another letter from the two little children.
“Ok lets go.” Jimmy stood up and offers his hand.
Jennifer abided and they walked backed home, hand in hand, guided by the wind’s whispers.
And still the magic did its work on the two little children.

making myself heard!
got into mass comm SP. went there cause of the business modules. still prefer ngee ann but oh wells. the girls in ngee ann are hotter, food is better, place looks nicer and less run down. for those who disagree with me, oh i have nothing to say. lol.
hmm...so its still the same crap going on in my life, going out now and then, pool. a little movie. reading, mugging, writing (stuck) though. and thats about all to my life. so i have nothing to say here...not till poly starts i guess? hmm...oh i am still considering on taking As. i konw i giong poly. but just take As for fun. its not going to be easy. but i have not abandoned the idea.yuppydodo =)
made myself heard!