God i want to thank these two important people in my life. Who msged prayers for me.
Just when i actually subtly gave up hope in small areas of my life, you used them to help me find hope again.
Its greatly appreciated.

To Rae...
Thanks a lot for reciprocating. You are actually the first to really reciprocate.
And to me reciprocation means a mighty lot. So you can be assured your footprint is left deeply imprinted in my brain.

To Candice...
Thanks for that prayer, was actually seeing the desolation in things, but now i see a glimmer of light.
When i thought reciprocation was not met, you proved me wrong. It meant a lot.
I thought no one from school valued on my creativity anymore, or at least place value, i am wrong again.
I actually somehow found motivation yesterday after i got control over my life again.
And i slacked today =(
The prayer is uber long, 4 msges, i wont forget that. And the msg was like an essay. Hee.
Hee. But thanks a lot.

These two people, mean quite a bit to me, but if they are ever to be meaning a lot to me, they would have to prove and make it clear to me.

Chai, you are a different case.

God, thank you for these people who leaves imprints in my brain.


Creativity

and

Reciprocation.

Exasperated.
I hope i find forgiveness. Bottled up sufferings is ugly when it explodes.
I've been lately, i mean the past few weeks, feeling zzz from my classmates's rubbish, its more than one. Tolerance's has a limit. I found mine today. I still cant justify all of it together.
I'm leaving it.
I hope sushi outing tmr would be fun. And not another suaning session.

Gp, was interesting. we had an online msg board, where you sms, and your sms would most probably get read out in front of the whole Lecture Theatre. Very much like Pre U sem =)
I like my question.
I think stereotyping is inevitable. Its a cognitive template we all rely on. Since we do not have a first hand experience. We would simply believe it. What say you?

Keep myself afloat.
And i am so bloated thanks to low fat milk, and double cheese burger, i realise double cheeseburger gives me indigestion.

La Chatelier's Principle.
Forward and backward reaction.
Kc, Kp.

Dance of Eternity - Dream Theater.
According to Adam, this 6 min plus song changes its time signature more than 90 times. Its kinda true after i listened to it again.

I cant believe this.
Its like the 100th time watching this, and i am still not sick. Anyway its one of the climax in the song.

I am addicted to milk.
Low fat milk?


Slow down!


Its better to slow down, and its worse to speed up.

Come on, admit it, slow is a taboo word in our culture now. We keep thinking time is scare, but the fact is, if we squeeze so much work into the short span of time, is it really quality work?

Must slow = stupidity?
I like the idea that slow people, are slackers, and slackers, are usually creative people, and i am a slacker, thus i am creative :D

I mean seriously, look at yourself or your classmates, those who keeps rushing, usually they aren't that creative, and might even abhor creativity. Worse still, see no value in creativity since they dont have the time to take another look at the idea and really see the creativity behind it.
Simply because, they dont have the time to let creativity take place. Overly task oriented.
Its more than hating to study, its the desire for creativity.

Research shown, that homework ban has improved results. Ban homework pls!!! MoE!!!

Check this out. This proves my point on improved results.

We should engage in the slow movement. Maybe thats one of my answers to a life more than this.
And I've been burnt out for quite some time.


Slow down!

Breakthrough


Thats exactly what i need...
In the area of rest...

And i sit here staring...
Thinking about the possibilities in life while i imagine myself somewhere else in this world, doing something more interesting, impactful, lasting and meaningful than studying.
I will colour my world, i will bring sound to it, and remove the noise.
Lit was awesome today. The great society, is one of the most contorted yet beautiful poems i ever encountered. Let the poem do the speaking.

The Great Society

--


Why would the king die in the light bulb?
Stanza 1, line 4


--


These pictures are stunning.
And imagine myself being there to see it, touch it, feel, hear and sense the vastness of its beauty. No, i sit here yearning for sleep as i rush through my work.
And i guess, my simple escape, would be typing my thoughts.


Breakthrough



God
I
Am
Asking
For
So

much

More

than This.


Joey is Fluctuating in his confidence.
In his motivation too.
But he still knows his identity.
Joey's thoughts are experiencing slight tremors, especially in the area of who matters to him, and who doesn't.

Joey knows his time is running out.
And he isn't really doing anything for now, or is mentally unable to.

Joey wants a break.
In that break, he will have the time to breathe, and to redo all his work.
Joey knows there are weekends, but he finds them in sufficient.
Joey cant forget what his teacher said, it haunts him, "Its really what you want in life."
Apparently, what Joey wants in life, is not what the system would really bring him to, hence his thinking fluctuates.
Joey somehow feels that if he is thrown out into this world, without a certificate, he can make it. He knows he knows quite a lot more than the average JC student when it comes to social networking, social engineering, and simply getting to certain "places". Then again he wonders if he is being arrogant. Yet he thinks his reasons are valid.

Joey finished his EoM, and hopes it is worth the time.

Joey believes there is more than this.
Believes there is so much more than what his life offers now, yet he remembers what his cell leader said about not rushing to grow up, and cant agree more.

Joey still occasionally thinks about all the abortions that takes place each day, and finds it extremely cruel.
Joey actually believes that one of the worse death anyone could experience is to be aborted.
To be rejected, unwanted, not given a chance to have a say, and to have one's limbs cut off one by one, in the place where one is suppose to find the most comfort, security, love and safety. The mother must have mentally tormented the child while considering the abortion. Poor fetus.

Joey wish his laptop would be fine.

Joey is sorry for all the boring posts that has been appearing on this blog. At least it is boring to him. There is lack of inspiration in his current life, and he wishes for more.
Joey finds it a little scary, that his imagination is so extremely vivid, wild and exhilarating.
When he closes his eyes, there will be a new picture flashing across his optical lobe. And in a matter of seconds another one flashes past him. And he has never seen the pictures flashing across his closed eyes. And each picture is drawn and "photographed" in a different style.
He cant make out why is it so, but appreciates the gift from God nevertheless. The only thing he is afraid is he has not been able to find ways to express that

Exhilarating


Imagination



yet.

Joey will be a good boy, and sleep early tonight.
Joey will sleep now.
Joey says good night.

[I hope this isn't too graphic, for some of you but...the message is important nonetheless. I hope i don't turn down readers.]

Titled: The Human Genocide.

I went to church today.

They told me something gruesome.
I never really gave thought to it.

It was not the numbers that really freaked me out, yes they played a part, but the real thing that imprinted itself on my brain, was the explanation.

They screamed.
Every single one of them.

--

I was taught, thou shall not murder.
It was just 4 words, a straightforward command, yet...

Their mouths would open, for they knew what was coming.
They could sense danger.
They withdrew as far as possible from danger.
Yet they could not run away.
Their chance of having a say in the decision?
Zero.

Their heart beats at 140 beats per minute, and when they sense danger, just right before they taste their ultimate defeat, their heart beat reaches 200 beats.

Fragments of them were slowly removed, their limbs cut off. One by one, and their heart continues beating.
First their legs, then their arms. Next they remove their body, and lastly, the skull crushed before sucking them out.

For those whose hands are about to touch the sunlight, my heart goes out to them.
They are introduced with saline, mixed with poison. Within two hours they would inhale the poison, and die. In this period, they are burned.
Burnt alive.
The chemical reaction, would do the burning.
Later on, the mother gives birth to a dead baby.

In fifteen minutes the process is done, and they walk out clean.
For most, it was done simply for the sake of convenience.

I was taught, God formed and weaved us, in his image.
God was the one who breathed life into us.
Only He had the right to give and take away our lives.
Every sunrise we catch, is a gift from the giver, for he had the right to stop giving us the chance to catch the sunrise, yet he didn't.
Who gave us the right to take their lives then?

--

Murdered, in cold blood.
In silence.
In a matter of minutes.
Done with medical instruments.
And gray intentions.

The Human Genocide.

How could some people point their finger at God, and demand for an explanation why God allowed the tsunami to happen, when millions of them suffered the excruciating pain in silence.
They never got the chance to speak.
And the best part?
We had the choice to stop it.


They would let out a silent scream.
Their first and last unheard scream.
That no one would hear.
Only God.

They could not even cry over their fate, the decision imposed on them.
No tears shed, a death where there was no possibility to cry out those tears of theirs.
They can't, they simply just can't.
They didn't even have the time to breathe.

--

In Singapore, so far, its half a million.
And its Approximately 46 Million screams a year.

You are coming to the end of this post, and many abortions has taken place across this world.
Innocent lives.
They were robbed of their chance of living in this world.
Its murder.

The message is simple.




Stop


Abortions.


Value Life.



I need to put my thoughts in perspective.
Its a boring post. Its degrading my blog, and yes my life isnt too interesting now.

I am pretty incoherent, simply because i have too many thoughts.
Usually such long posts, is 99% incoherent.

I am going "Live" on 93.8 Fm, the recording would be done in the morning in my school, it will be broad casted in the evening. I would be missing 2 lectures. I will just have to copy notes later.
I am proud to say that Innova is the only school in Singapore that has broadcasting and the new media just rocks over here.
I think being in ICON, Innova Confident O.... N.... is cool. Yes i dont know what is it called, and i am still in it. We got to talk to mr teo ser luck, dude who started and won the bid for youth olympics, and now this...93.8 Fm. Plus a pre u sem, and a public speaking boot camp.
Enriching indeed.

I need to get deferment from my school. I am posted to the police force, if i have a choice i dont want to go there...apprehensive.

Its parents teachers meeting tomorrow, and i cant really be bothered about it. It seems so insignificant when compared to sleep.

Sleep is the commodity that has turned into a luxury good. Slackers might think otherwise.
My eye bags look like black chemo.
I dont mind paying money to sleep a little more.
I wanted to get MC for 5 days straight this week. I managed to pull through i guess.
I am changing my style of doing work. Almost completed work handed in on time, is better than completed work handing in late. My classmates can testify to that.
Copying is the norm. I wonder...

I reached home at around 8 for two days straight, and started work at the time when primary school kids sleep.

I'm sorry, but i feel that sometimes JC teachers are just so slack. I know its not true, but for those teachers that get to take afternoon naps, RAHHH!!!! So envious! I really wonder why do i leave school at 7pm today, while my CT left at maybe 3? Once I even saw him leaving the school before 1 on Friday!
I mean i had lessons till 7pm, not CCA.
Its not the first time, but you cant deny that its tiring.
Sighs.
I wonder if they remember how does it feel like being a student, and the number of hours of sleep we get each day.
It may seem passed them, but do they really, really understand how does it feel again?
There is consistency, yet the variables have changed, and i am quite sure, its gotten tougher.

I am getting used to the craziness of it all. Its a little surprising how i can switch from POly to JC, but it took me months to get back to that kind of discipline.
Getting used to nonsense from my classmates.
From work, and how 3 things can clash at one time, and you just have to make choices and sacrifices. For example, i have project meeting, CCA, and consultation happening at the same time.

I have a written report to rush through with my group members.
Three tests to mug for next week. Innova s been kind in not spamming us with tests, but they've not been nice in giving three tests in two days.

Today, was a "sour", late, attention seeking day.
I could have been spared the late ticket if not for two "selfish" fellows who decided to get off the bus the stop before the real stop to run to the side gate. Due to that, we met the red light, and we were all late. All = 20 people?
Mr Lin stood at the gate pondering how to get into the school since the gate was locked. He decided to follow the crowd of students. I mean how can the principal scold us, if the teachers who takes the same bus as us, are sometimes late too?

Anyway, from an arty perspective, i know you wont fully comprehend, but... She looked like some evil penguin today. The sunlight cast on her face, from a single direction, created some shadows, and with on certain features of her face, glaring at us, she reprimanded. Frightening.
I wonder if she ever considered that she had a car and we dont. And again...i think she sleeps more than us.

The above paragraph, is a bias one. Its my bias views. Please do not adhere, i am just too lazy to state the other perspective.

Its attention seeking, because we = me, wayne, KS, late for assmebly, made to stand up in front of the whole J1 cohort, i didnt really mind, my legs wouldnt be numbed that way. Anyway, there were like another 20 plus guys? And 1 Poor tanty, who is a girl, whose day was really horrid, and i bought her a soybean to cheer her up. One of the most significant things i did today, maybe event the most. I used 1 dollar to touch a heart :D and yes it touched mine too. Yay!
[Oh, we were actually spared the attention till "Mutton", from 98.7 Fm, asked why we were standing there. All eyes fixed on us for the next 30 secs. I was slightly, just slightly embarrassed, i didnt care if all my friends were ridiculing me, cause i would understand why if they were in my shoes. The scrutiny was not felt by me. Anyway, many people ponned assembly.]
We were actually late for PE, but PE teacher knew we were always late, so it was alright. Wayne and i were late for school too. We were late for Econs make up lecture as well. So yes, its a really late day. We were almost late for chem practical. Practically, we were almost late for every lesson today.

I am taken by surprise, the amount of "suaning" that goes on here, at least in my clique. I was expecting my friends to live in harmony, and well looks like the nonsense has really broken out, till i find enlightenment in my lameness. And i am shocked by it too.
Here s what i told Wayne when he gave me the L sign.
I placed two L signs back to back, and said, look its bolded, so you are Lamer.
Then i placed my index finger on the right hand's L sign, and said, look, its underlined.
I then now slant my right hand's L sign, and said, look its now underlined and in italics.
377A are for gays, he trailed me for that, my rebuttal to his trail was the section 378A. Yes, i declared him to be trailed under the section of 378A. I claimed he had more than one gay partner, thus 378A.
This is the rubbish i produce from .... <--- whatever adjective you can fit in there.

--

I was ferried to OCS yesterday. I got to carry SAR21, Whee!!! GPMG too. That one is heavy. So sad i didnt get to carry the bazooka (forgot its name) I will in the future. Got the simple chance to fire 5 blanks. I didnt even know where was i shooting exactly. And seriously, my eyes kept blinking as every round was fired. And for the first time, listening to just blanks being fired from the GPMG was kinda scary? Had a much better idea why people go nuts after war. I mean its just three rounds, and its slightly freaking me out, even though i still looked composed and calm.
Imagine a few GPMGs, many SAR21s, a few mortars, grenades, screams for medic, chiong ah! directions given, and a few planes dropping bombs to add, all these sounds produced at one go...i hope i dont drop both my pants and my gun.
The thunder flash was Woo...firecrackers. It might most probably be my alarm clock in army for BMT.

I am not flaming HCI, but i dont know why, the interaction i saw between an entire row of HCI students was like almost 0%? I shall leave any further comments in my head.
Its quite cool, i saw the innovian spirit, and i am darn proud of it. However, Innovians might talk too loud, and a little too much, and i am guilty of that.
I saw how jeslyn, led our group to cheer for Innova just out of simple enthusiasm. Like three cheers for eating army food with great enthusiasm. If she ever read this, i am proud of her for being a councilor and living up to that name, for leading us to do that small yet significant cheer, even though she was late today as well. Councilors take bus too alright?
[The officer in charged of the food rationed station, which i highly think who was formerly from HCI,] admit that Innovians are cooler :D Yay! Enthusiasm is contagious.
I'm sorry for forgetting your name, but the other Officer who was attached to our group, thanks for making the whole experience even more memorable, by taking the first step to talk to me, later on, "pushed" me to try on the chemo, and other simple stuff.
Also, I saw how Farris, one of the 4 Innovians to be in the Officer Cadet School, really brought the school spirit out within us. I mean he is from the first batch, and yet the school spirit is so alive in him. I am proud of him. His last few words to us, "I really hope there would be more Innovians coming to OCS, make IJ proud yeah?" Even though our group had like 6 guys, and looking at the 6 guys, having more than 2 in OCS is really tough, he still encouraged us. Point is he made us proud of being an Innovian.
I am proud of being an Innovian!
I thank God i am confident to say, i wont be prouder if i land up in any other JC.
There are flaws in Innova, but the experience i gained is invaluable.
I would classify Innova as a place, where you meet all sorts of people, mostly in the acceptable to decent category, meaning you leave out those who excessively tries to be a poser, excessive usage of vulgarities to sound cool, or excessive muscle flashing, or girls who act overly bimbotic, or skirts that are nano scaled, and not to forget, the pure mugger, pure mugger, those that speak in equations, definitions, and their thoughts are confined by what they are going to be tested in A levels.
Besides that, all sorts of people.
Its interesting, to see how the Innovian culture is weaved into almost all of us.
The greatest beauty i still find in Innova, is how easy we make friends.
I just made one today, or rather yesterday.
Jeslyn.

--

I was about to do something wrong, and i talked to God just for a brief moment.
He said, "Can i say no?"
Yes, he could say no, but he did not. This is love.
Again, a slight glimpse into what is called grace.

--

I took an hour to finish this post. I read, and re read many times. I still have an econs essay outline to do. I will see what i can do.

--

感动过瘾。

I actually created an interesting, abstract art from these four words while doing my Chinese test today.
And these are the firstChinese characters to ever appear on my blog :D

--

God, i am smiling, i am contented, because i know i find strength in you.

Warning: This post is highly random!

God, no randomness is too much for you to handle, so i am going to tell you this. Please try to answer this prayer as well as you can. If not better =)
God i pray for a wife, whose smile rocks, BIG TIME! And even when she is 60 years old, her smile would still rock BIG TIME! :)

God here are my wishes, and things i want to do at this year end. When i finally motion towards something called holidays.

I want to go work, in a Japanese restaurant, so i can eat their sushi when i am hungry =) work with a classmate or something. I cant really grab poly dudes, they will be still mugging.
I want to go overseas with my classmates to shop and eat. I SERIOUSLY want to do that, i pray my parents will allow =/ but if they dont, i am sure you have better plans.
I want to let creativity flow, like seriously flow...I've seen my gift...I want to see how far it can take me. God more importantly, i know you will take me further.

My wishes are little now, but the list will DEFINITELY grow. But to begin with, i already have a list, wonder how many people already have their lists up in their head. Actually quite a few i guess.

God please grant me motivation, and the effort to push for that promotion.
God i pray somehow things would pull off, i really pray you will help me here.

God I've been asking if i matter to her or not, i am just lifting it up into your hands.
Not that her, is not the her you are thinking about, actually it is, oh i dont know...no seriously its not her...
God i wrap this piece of precious gem in this rugged cloth, its the most i can afford. I hope you will accept it.

Its weird how sometimes you look at a photo, you see two persons. And you know there is a crack between the two. Yet they were captured in one piece, at a particular time frame. Is there still value in the photo? Or does the photo speak of the once pieced together pair, that now lay as broken pieces.
God i wonder if i really feel accused.
I've been hearing a lot of this word the past few days. And yeah, its apt...


Justify.

Justified?

or...

Justified?

Justify.


I cant help but ponder at the value of it all. The value lost. The years lost.
May forgiveness find a way into those two hearts, just like forgiveness found its way into the other heart.
Amen.


Here s Einstein quiz. Its okay that i didnt make it into the 2%, i can only assign to the simple reason, i am better at creating than conforming.

I found another person who appreciates my gift and art.
Thanks :)

And say i am here now...
----------------
Now playing: John Mayer - Clarity

----------------
Now playing: Switchfoot - Learning to Breathe
via FoxyTunes

I just slept 3 hours and 40 mins. It felt great.

--

God now i know a fraction of how my parents feel when i dont involve them in my life, even something insignificant. I wonder how many children understand this at my age.
Maybe thats one of the reasons why God made parents come in pairs. So that when one is upset with the child, he/she can complain to the other party.

--

God, please grant me a mugging partner. I am fine with anyone, who is not a lone mugger, who doesnt talk too much while mugging. Likes people watching, and appreciates art a little like me. God you know how i feel when i mug at home. I feel non productive. So God i pray all this in your name. Amen.

--

Your


calling


is calling.

I have too many thoughts swirling in my head.
Its not the depth but the dimensions involving it.
I've been listening a lot to my close friends and all their problems, its not that i dont care, but i need to pour mine out too.

I want to write a book again. I found inspiration. Thanks Desiree. If you are reading this.

I need more than this.
I need an ear.
I wonder if i matter to them.
If yes, then can they make me feel like i matter?

Silence is speech.

One of the deepest lessons I've learnt in life. It seemed like a paradox to me at first, but afterwards, it made Perfect sense.
I shadnt elaborate.

Yes.






Silence


is


speech.

I admit i am beat. For all the 5 hours of sleep i have.
Disclaimer: I am really tired , but i want to record down these thoughts and feelings, so pardon the obscure grammar sense.
Listening comprehension was fine?

If you are lazy, please skip the next paragraph.

I love my power point presentation =) i poured in hours into lit presentation. Even though it isnt worth that many hours, i still did it. Credit should go to Candice too.
Linh saw the power point, she told Candice it was a piece of art, Candice said so?...
Linh later on commented that i am too creative to be in this school...
I will keep that in mind.
Some of the things Linh said were deep, i considered them before. She might just be the first person in Innova whom i think has really deep thinking.
She said that if you used too many words to express an art, it is then no longer a piece of art.
I just think the current education system lacks a lot on nurturing creativity.
I happen to manage to keep myself aloof. Still yet to find someone else...its okay, i am unique, so i think i can hardly find anyone close.
I might just find out that entering into Poly, helps me see the world in ways i never see before, here creativity deepened its roots. JC helped me express my creativity in words and critically look at certain issues and to consider it from a multi dimensional perspective.
The best of both sides...i did not waste my one year. In fact last year was a vital year and it changed a lot of aspects in my life.

If you are still lazy, just give up reading this post.

I wish there was more milo in my cup.

I am a sentimental person, and pretty nostalgic. I guess thats why i am more right brain dominant. I realised the way i treat love is pretty different from others. There are too many things imprinted to wash them away. Guess thats why it means so much. I wonder if i would stand the test, that i will prove myself. That if it takes 10 years to prove you love someone, just by waiting, i would do it.
There are two most important promises i make in my life, and i uphold them like the ten commandments. I promise to walk with God all the days of my life. I promise to keep my promises to the best of my ability to whatever i promise to the one i love.

I just went back for st gabs concert. Seeing faces that made that change in those 4 years, washed back a sense of nostalgic feelings. I like it, at the same time, i am fearful of it. I am fearful i cannot handle the excitement at the same time the memories. Like sometimes you wish you were younger now. You wish you werent where you are now for a few seconds because innocence tastes so sweet. You wish you would love certain people more in your life back then. I dont have regrets, these are just wishes.
I guess those who grown to love their school much more after graduating will relate to how i feel. The perfect remedy for my fear...is simply finding the peace in God, and knowing he is taking charge of everything.

Please glance through this paragraph.

I see how God worked in vocal, it was "magic" with his hand behind it. Its more than a CCA, its a part of my life, where many memories are formed. It may just be pieces to some people, but they were milestones to me. It was a journey, and i made it through. All the nonsense we went through, all the out of tune notes, all the difficult pieces with changing the key 8 times (Deep river), the pieces we never landed up on the right key for the last note (The lion sleeps tonight) The piece that moves my heart if sung with deep melancholic emotions (Prayer of the children) The piece sang with crescent girls, by far the weirdest, and yet the most thrilling piece. Disneyland =) (To the stars) The awesome jazz piece (Rock in the land? Not sure of the name ) I wish i had the scores with me now, but i cant find it. This is one of my deepest regret.
The places where we sang. The competition we went through. The announcement when we got silver for the first entry into SYF. The announcement that they got Gold last year. I wonder if it would be gold with honours next year. And now being the alumni, you see the legacy you left behind, you see the legacy being carried on. You see how the young one looks up to you, and dreams i will be like them one day. I will sound like them one day. How new and better talents seem to reproduce every year. How each year the bar is raised. Its more than just these words.
It is a lot more.
Trust me, a lot more...

I saw Samantha in the MRT. The last time i talked to her was years back...maybe 3 - 4 years back? She barely changed, as beautiful. It was a simple exchange, she bombarded me with the typical questions of how abouts. I wished i could ask the same thing, but i dont even know her family. More than that, it was that old megalife we used to have. Homely, she describes it. I wonder how many people younger than me even know who is Samantha. I am contented with life, so i am fine that i was too young back then to own the culture those megalifers once had. I think its impossible to go back, it was past glories. Megalifers should do what they can to create a culture they can own and be proud of. I pray that in Jesus's name amen. This is my prayer for Megalife.

I remember the first day i went into P6 cell. I remember queuing up and see who was in my cell. I remember i wished Nat was in my cell. She wasnt, but i had others whom i know in my cell so it was okay. How jonathan suen brought us to lan after exams. Some of the P6 games we played. My first ever serious crush. It was mm...
The best part, was Megalife used to be packed with people in grace chapel. True Love waits.
I find it scary, that these things seem so near, but the truth is that its more than this.
How i shared this testimony which totally embarrassed me =( it was bad. Trust me. Seriously.
Youth EE. Being the youngest then. Camps were Woah back then! Since then camps werent as power packed. I wonder am i passing comments or judgments. Is it all together justified?
Whatever it is, my prayer still holds. Because that was my prayer a few years ago. And i seen how Seng Kang and Central Area came to exsitance. I REMEMBER I PRAYED HARD FOR THESE TWO AREAS. And they were conceived a year or two later.
So for those who are in central and seng kang area, know that i am one of those who prayed for your area. More than that, know that God answer prayers.

Sorry for the long post, it was for those who really wanted to take a closer look at my history.
God is still writing this story, and i am contented with it. Satisfied.

--

I wonder what was it like when Jesus was in the tomb, and "woke" from his "sleep". Was there rejoicing in heaven? Did Jesus blink? Did Jesus rub his eyes? Did Jesus pray? Did he say thank you to God? I would like to ask God this when i reach haven.

--

My prayer still holds.
Megalifers should do what they can to create a culture they can own and be proud of.

God does art.
And his canvas is huge.
It is the sky.

He paints a new picture, almost constantly, with the strokes of clouds, and the colour of azure blue, his work is simply magnificent.

The best part, is that he paint such a beauty...

Simply for me

and you.

When you bring God into insignificant matters,
you make Him significant in your life.

Lose my head to music.
Time lost its containment.
Let the music flow.
Let time know.

The music paints,
Pictures of beauty.
Through my ears,
My smile hints.

Tonight isnt a long night,
Cause i called it short.
My time is right there,
Right there in His hands.

And on His hands,
I see this line.
I am proud of you,
Every Bit Of You

He made me smile,
Like no other.


--

I miss you.

Do you miss me?

--

The first statement is common, yet profound.
The second statement holds more attention, and speaks more than 4 words.
The third statement, unseen here, proves its beauty, in measures unknown.

I am no longer racing against time.
Because i redefined it?

Batam trip was kind of insignificant? In our eyes i mean.
Approximately 4 hours of work, while the trip lasted about 31 hours long. Do your maths, its quite a waste, but i guess to the orphans there, we left our small legacy.

I think we did quite a bit of work, i am contented.
I bought 24 doughnuts for wayne and i, and it costs 89000 bucks. Rupiah.
I played Arcade over there, time crisis 4, and it costs approximately sing 70cents. Awesome.
J. Co doughnuts are quite nice, but like all pastry they are tough to digest. So i've been on doughnuts for like two days, and 3 doughnuts can last me 4 hours?

I seen more personalities in my classmates and all.

I have yet to start work.

And this is the last stanza from the poem "Miles To Go Before I Sleep" by Robert Frost.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

The last three lines paints the best picture of my current state.


God thanks for guiding me through this trip.
I pray for mercy to fall on my class tomorrow.
And heal the brokenness in the girl that lost her sanity...


And somehow i am rather reluctant to start work, because i know i cant finish tonight.

Nevertheless, Jesus would, so i shall too...


Love


Like


Jesus

.


My friend said this, "I wish i have 48 hours."
If i am going to conform to his thinking, i would spend the extra 24 hours sleeping.
No, i would just spend more time sleeping, like seriously...more time will go to sleep.
This is a pointless discussion.

I think I've recently lost touch with my sensitivity. I see that in many if my friends in school, I see all the thrash come out, i can only assign my reasoning to lack of sleep, and overload of homework.

I am going for a batam trip. A short OCIP trip. Yay =)
It would be a first class outing together for like two days?
At least to me, the rest would have experienced the atrocities back in malaysia.
I wonder if i would see more thrash come out again.
And i wish people would just understand hanging out more with a girl doesnt equate to a girlfriend.


--

She runs a bit, hesitates, stops,
half turns around...
and, all while dreaming, shakes her head
for or against.

--

A short extract from the poem Child in Red, stanza 2


I just finished my lit essay, i must say i am proud of it.
It made me look into childhood and confront it face to face.


Candice said that,
in order to appreciate childhood,
we would need maturity,
yet when we have matured,
we would have lost our childhood.

That in itself is a paradox.



I



simply



cant



agree



more.





:D

God hold me together.
You might need more glue than usual.

I think the education system is good at two things.
Making its people feel stress thus making them feel like giving up, or create people who refuse to concede defeat to the system.

I realise the problem with me is that i have a much better picture than people my age with what i want to do with my life. Apparently the education system is not going to bring me there, so i dont really see much of a point going through all these nonsense.


Attention


There are two blogs i visit regularly.

I realised one of my greatest fear is to stay at home alone, i would only want that when i am in a socially drained mode, but for now...

God help me get out of my house please.
Grant someone to go out with me, if not i know my day wont be that nice.
Amen.


I Feel dismantled.


For a moment, it felt like the whole world did not pick up my calls, when everyone fell away, and the construction work simply annoys you to your ear drums.

From Candice's blog

For those who aren't convinced that I'm really busy right now (considering the number of MSN messages and calls I still get nowadays...I guess people underestimate what I mean by "BUSY" la.), here's my current homework list right back at you! Maths tutorial 9 (friday) Maths tutorial 8 corrections (friday) GP holiday hw - IJC paper 2 2005 (must collect from class, friday) GP the inference thing (collect from bookshop thursday, collect from class friday) GP re-done timed piece (collect and hand in on friday) PW EOM draft 1 (next tuesday) PW WR (under construction) Econs re-look at case study, go through corrections Econs lecture essay in MLG (next wed) Econs tutorial section A and B (friday) Chem Reaction Kinetics tutorial? Lit PC essay (next tues) Lit presentation with Joey (a few weeks from now) Pre-U sem/public speaking bootcamp people - Radio 938 dry run (friday) OCIP Batam (next weekend)

And in addition to my own version...

• Maths revision package.
• Maths tutorial 8, 9, 10
• Econs Redo summer test essay plus case study.
• Econs second case study.
• Annotate the entire PC package.

Some of the above are self initiated and self expectations.


For the work i done this week...

1. Gas law tutorial.
2. Chem energetics extra questions.
3. Gas law extra questions.
4. Chem filing.
5. Econs case study: Cost tutorial
6. Gp Comprehension.
7. Gp re written time assignment.
8. Gp inference thingy.
9. Gp summary on another passage.

Looks little?

Wait till you hit GP comprehension. If you are going to give quality work, it take hours. Once this week, i slept for 3 hours only.
I've been sleeping less than 5 or 6 hours for this whole week, besides Friday night, this resulted in my single eyelid to upgrade to double eyelid. On the left eye. Gabrielle s inference, if you didnt sleep well, your single eyelid would upgrade to the double eyelid.
Now my right eye looks lazy, because it remains as single eyelid, wish it would be balance.

Anyway, i think my left eye looks nicer than the right now, but its imbalance =(

Maybe i should sleep late next week, and get my right eye fixed.


I am so tempted to do work now, i mean i want to rush everything, so life would be nicer in the future, but today is sabbath day, and i should learn how to rest.


Sherman's words haunt me now...
"How is JC life like?"

"Barely survivable."


I fully comprehend now, what he meant.
The paggys told me, count yourself lucky if you get more than 4 hours of sleep, now i understand what they meant as well.
In JC, there will be weeks, when its impossible to meet all your homework deadlines, unless you rush through it, give some sloppy work, and dont sleep.


I see many smiles fading.


Even mine...


Nevertheless...


Keep my smile.








Amen.


=)

Joey is beat from all the school work.

Black high lighter!
Yes there is seriously such a thing.
You can find it in Art friend.

Chai told me i should blog about sofas next time, since i got so many tags from my Chair post, i welcome them =)

I think it is a good idea...my ideal sofa =)

Black high lighter, anyone?

:D