His dream is to make me smile.

05/10/2006

its so haunting. and words itself can really pierce and tear you apart.what happens to you when your closest friends remind you to be realistic...remember you dont have much time, you have alot to catch up on... those reminders though partly hold true but yet its like an invisible force that glues your feet to the ground causing you to be unable to move forward. and you sit down and start crying... and the thoughts continue to haunt you.
you cant do it, you are a failure, look at your 5s and 6s not to mention the 9s. still think you can get A1? pls loh wake up lah. face reality you cant make it in such a short time. look at you. look at timothy, look at darly chee. look at those who aim for results that are like 9 or 12 points. and now you tell me you want 6 points and look at your prelims. i advise you to reconsider.
the results show, your performance stinks. who will still believe your 6 point dream after your prelim results has shown that you are so far? what makes you think your plan would pull off?

there is a chinese cheng yu... zuo ren yao jiao3 ta4 shi2 di4. be reslistic, but i think sometimes if we are always so realistic then we would never fly in the sky? like jai tian kong fei... i think alot of times ppl really achieve something, because they dare to dream? because they believe somehow somewhat they will end up in their destination eventually, even though the world say they cant. look at the brothers who invented the airplane? albert einstien deemed as dumb. ( these historic figures have never stirred my interest, there fore the examples that i highlight may not be accurate ) but yet he invented so many things.

now what words would you offer to a person who stop believing in his own dream > in his hopeful destination?
it really sucks when alot of your close friend offer realistc words but piercing at the same time. ...wash away your disbelief. GOD hold me together.

when i start fearing that my promises would end up void, that my hopes would crumble, and my tears would start dripping incessantly from my eyes.
GOD i remember you said before perfect love casts out all fear, and the reason why we fear its becasue we are still holding on to something, we are afraid we would lose it, i know i am afraid, i know i fear, i know you are testing me, and so many times i keep saying i commit it into your hands, but yet my heart is unable to register these very words. GOD i think its easier if you take it from me then me giving it to you. think i am too tired to give it up now. rather you take it. GOD i am losing hope, and when my dream is shaken...
i dont want to stand on such ground any longer. i want to give up everything and leave it in your hands. and becasue of that... believe that whatever turns out, its still your plan. GOD stop the excuses i create. and know that these excuses would not last, but the truth is that i still have to give up my dreams for you.

when you feel alone and isolated. when the world stops believing in you. hope that your father in heaven is near, because he always is. and you shall feel the warmth and comfort you so need it at this time. like love engulfing you from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. when you hear whispers son/ daughter i am here. and i love you...

Scintillate, Sparkle, Shine