Calling, the called. What price will you pay to obey God?
The Calling of God will definitely require sacrifice. Some have to make big sacrifices, some small, some don't make any sacrifices, their sacrifice was their mistake.
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Still thinking about being a doctor, a missionary doctor for that matter.
Went to see family doctor today. Asked him how was it like being a doctor.
His description was nowhere near what you would call pleasant.
As i stepped out of the clinic, on my way to tuition, i counted the sacrifices i have to make if i am to pursue what God has called me to do, being a doctor, or a missionary doctor. My fingers and toes weren't enough to number these sacrifices!
I will attempt to list them out. Starting from the most practical, realistic, and immediate sacrifices and circumstances that looks almost impossible to make things happen.

1.I am not sure if i can take Biology in JC, i hope i can, if i cant then my chances of getting into Med school is reduced!
2.You have to get 3 to 4 As, i plan to, but i think this might either act as extra pressure, or an extra booster, its going to be up to the brain and heart to determine and make the choice.
3. There is high competition for this course, so they will select whom they want to interview! After interviewing you, they will select again. Wonder how slim my chance is now.
4.The fees i have to pay for taking up med school, would be roll on the floor kind. Lets say one year cost 3000bucks * i am guessing*. I would have to study up to about 10 years in order to specialise in an area. Do the calculation yourself. Next alternative, scholarship = MUG LIKE NUTS!
5. When am i going to marry? Have kids? Start a family?
6. Working hours are like 8am - 8pm? 12 hours a day, staring at sick people, and telling them to get well.
7 People complain why aren't you a good doctor, but how many times do you hear of people complimenting you and thanking you for healing them?
8. Modern medicine gets more and more complicated, because of the viruses we face in this era.
9. Look at SARS, we might get paid better than the blue collar dudes, but who is at risk here? Pay money to risk your life?
10. Starting pay, is around 3000bucks a month *this information is from a forum, according to a local doctor*, but hello, i start working at around what? Age 30? By that time, some people might be earning 7000 bucks a month already. Own a house, car, and a family. And all i have a stethoscope with me.
11. Alright, but when i think of being a doctor, i know i don't like cutting up people, i can't watch nip tuck for nuts, i wont go screaming, but i will make squirmy faces.
12. In my opinion, hospitals might just be one of the most boring places to work on earth, because few people smile here. So its going to be my job to bring a smile to my patients.
13. My dad say that people are smarter in this generation, more arrogant, and self centered. Which is true, unlike the old times, people go to the doctor and the doc has the final say. Nowadays, thanks to the internet, people research and after which criticise your medical doings.
14. There is a very thin line in your ethic and values. We've seen this in shows before, doctors having to make the choice if they want to save this dude, who just smashed their head, broke their heart, or something.
15. From the above explanations, i think being a doctor would be one of those jobs where i have to learn to numb myself. Just like waitering, i wasn't in for it long enough to get numbed. Being a doctor, means i have to get used to a routine, and a mundane hospital with so little vibrancy.

Alright maybe my fingers and toes are sufficient to number out the sacrifices, but guess it will run out next time.

The only comfort i am getting out of all this thinking.

1. I am pretty certain, God gave me a gift in this area. I don't know why, but i think i am just a natural here, besides pronouncing the words. - I took bio mid years before, as a private student in school. I GOT B4! Nothing much, but hey, the day before the exam, i was left with 3 chapters to study and i was tested 7 chapters. And the 3 chapters are chapters i have never set my eyes on them till the day before exam, i gave up at chapter 6 and a half. So i went in to sit for a paper looking at certain images and diagrams for chapter 6 and 7.
I didn't even sit in a class and i got a B4. Ok fine, it was 60 marks i think. But Yup, i sat in a class listening to POA for 6 months, and i got C5. Hmm...thats quite a contrast. Was never made for business.
2. God has proven himself to be faithful every situation, the other times when he seemed to failed me were the times my own voice spoke, and i was rash, i didn't find peace in the words i hear. Alright so God is always faithful. When i thought through the sacrifices, he was very clear and firm when he said this, "Son, you will see what i can do through you." It was really him. In my heart doubt was prevailing, and i was actually considering other options in life. But he spoke and well God always has the final say. No way running away from your calling, no point either. You just suffer more in the end, with no God - purposed life, and end up not achieving much.
3. I've heard numerous pastors preach about calling, and quite a number of them had big dreams, dreams that didn't call them to be pastors, they made the sacrifice to live up to their call. I guess, this is a further confirmation, its a call. What makes it so clear that is a call, is BECAUSE I DON'T WISH TO RESPOND TO THE CALL! If its your own desire, you will respond, if its not and something is telling you to go do it, its 99% your call. 1% hallucination.
Making sacrifices for carrying up your cross makes it painful. And the pain will add to your call, it will mold your character, it will make you feel like throwing in the towel, but when you managed to step out of it, usually you would, you come out stronger and more convicted in your call.

There is one thing I've observed in life, and that is when God brings word into your life, he will brings trails to confirm convince your conviction in his word.
So for things that are precious to you, things that are uberly important to you, God will brings trials. - You dont really quarrel as much with your friends as compared with your parents, because your parents are more important than your friends. You don't quarrel so much with your platonic friends, instead the person you might quarrel and hurt you the most is your spouse, because your spouse is important to you! See the picture?
But whats important is what you CHOOSE TO do with what happened.
You can either lay it down into God's hands, or handle it with your own strength.
You can step out of your negative emotions and thoughts, or you can remain in them.
ITS A CHOICE.

I am making a choice to leave my calling to God now, he will prepare me if i am going to be a doctor. I am sure of that.

"Son, you'll see what i can do through you!"
Yeah I'll see.
=)

Labels: Called to bring healing into brokeness