The law of attraction.

This video is so cool!
Some of the stuff they say is pretty true, and some honestly not true.


3 words!
Thoughts become things.

Every thought has a frequency.
We can measure a thought.

Problem, people think about what they dont want. And why it always show up over and over again.

Focus on what you want, not on what you do not want.
Your thoughts shapes you.

There are generally two types of feelings, good and bad.
You think about what is good, feel it, keep doing it. Your bad feelings tells you that its time to get to the good feelings side.

Whatever you are feeling, is a perfect reflection, of what is in the process of becoming.

Feel it, even if its not there. The universe will manifest on your feelings, and you will feel good anyway.

Look at an insane man, he may be insane to us, but to him we are insane. We do not feel the way he do. His perception is of a different frequency.
Perception can change a lot of things. If you feel loved, even if you are not, people will love you, because your feelings of love, will love others, and likewise others will love you.

Shifts happens, from the bad to good. Paradigm shift.

Which came first? Thoughts or feelings? Feelings or thoughts?

Focus on positive thoughts.

Hurt 4 times in 3 days.
I am expecting a 5th one tomorrow.
No, maybe i am hurt more. But my brain confabulates which stops more hurting.

But yeah, i am hurt at least 4 times in the past 3 days.
We will see...

Oh my, i am hoping i get hurt, because i am ALREADY EXPECTING IT TO COME!

Whats the point?

Whats the point of doing so much work, work work, but in the end all you are slogging for is a piece of paper.
To get on to the next stage of life.
We are all just disillusioned.

How sad, i hope people wont feel the same way i did. Ten years of work, shrink down to a piece of certificate. Isn't that sad?

How will you feel if you are told your past ten years of mugging in school was merely to prepare you for this piece of paper. Everything decided on that paper.

We are just so sad.

How thin can a paper be?

Hold a piece of paper. Hold it in such a way that you are look at that thin plate, that cuts across the paper. One palm on each side of the paper.

See that thin line? Yeah thats how i feel like now, at the edge looking down. I have no idea on whose side am i at?
Let it all poof.

Of trivial importance.
Of lateness.
Of magical words that fell into the hole.
Of tunes that came too late.

Shadows unseen. Creeping up the stairs.
Sounds unheard. Going nowhere.

Cries left better unknown.
Torrential tears behind a dam.

The rabbit hole goes so deep.
Yet the light above seem so near.

If only the word believe never existed.
Believe, or not to?

Of neural peptides that are already formed.
Of cuts thats already delivered.
I am broken.

CAN ANYONE SEE!!!?
NO... they are busy healing those cuts of their own.

Let us all rot and die.
The above statement is false. I was lying.

The liar paradox. The uncertain faith.
On the edge.
On the brink.

How thin can the paper be? I am there.

Beyond repair or redemption.

I am not important, to anyone.
Erase my identity. Wipe clean my mind.

Of hurts, and negative emotions, neural peptides that are coded in pains, and hurts.

Go find out whats neural peptides if you don't know.
I am WOOSH! Delete identity.


Down the rabbit hole of self pity.

Trapped in these four walls.

Looking at others have fun, exploring through a screen.
This is the life i lead. Of terrestrial value.

Even if i scream, no one will hear.
The screams return to its source.

I feel unheard.


A thump, heartbeat, palpitate. Inject fear and paranoia.
Maybe i should just live as a hermit.

The feeling of being heard, of affection and love. Some think in accordance to neural science that we do not in actual really love the person, but instead the person who can make us feel good with these neural chemicals which feeds our pleasure.

I wonder.



Like a man on an island, screaming out at the oceans. His voice leaves no trail, sounds that never returns.

The rejected rejects themselves.

Someone bring some hope.
Someone be here.

Someone make me believe.

Confused and contort.
Dubious and dubitable.
Equivocal = of uncertain significance.
Perplex the enigma.
Intricate and involute.
Intricate = solvable or comprehensible only with painstaking effort.
Affright in reality conventions.
Trepidation = an involuntary trembling or quivering.
Apprehend self existing entity

Repute the acceptance.


The paradoxical conundrum.

I am running this race alone.



Alone.

Tell me who am i?

Imagine if you have no name.
Nameless, nope thats not the new name, you are just in that category.

Maybe a set of numbers is assigned to you...the time you were borned.
And your name constantly changes, where it is set by time in definition, when something really eventful and memorable happen to you, that becomes your new name.

Imagine, we simply live our lives with no name. Simple tags with no set logic behind it, is assigned to each and every individual.

Another cool video i found. I dont mind living in that place!



Here is a really interesting video! At least i like the delivery, design, concept, and idea. Enjoy...



Make me believe !

I need Jesus. Because he listens...





I don't

You know people. Its so sad that singapore is so small?

I wanted to scream my head off once, you should know when was it. And i cant even find a place where no one will hear me? Wherever i went, someone will be able to hear me scream...its so small. So congested, so squeezed and cramped together. Yet, no one can hear the brisance of pain within.

Is anyone looking hard enough? Maybe everyone is so tired, that they stop listening, and only hear their own ones...

The toll continues, and Autophobia is knocking on the door.

WooHoo!
Being alone might not be so bad after all huh? Dont have to hear people scream their pains, the only downside is no one hears you as well...

Sigh...
I wonder if Audrey is right about me...

Its tiring being her. And i am a bit like her. According to her.
Its tiring because you listen so much to others, at the same time people don't hear your cries.
It makes me think...is anyone listening? So what if they are? Maybe they are busy telling you their problems they don't even know you are in one yourself.

What happened to sensitivity? What happened to social skills? Am i lacking it? Are you lacking it? Or the entire world is just going down the thrash can?

Doesn't that sound sad?

IS ANYONE LISTENING? DID ANYONE LISTEN ENOUGH TO GET RID OF THOSE PAIN, HURTS, TEARS, CRIES, SCREAMS?


no...

I feel like a physciatrist, listen to all my close friends and best friend's problems. Till it all becomes a problem to me. Not that i dont want to litsen to your, but i am about to explode man. Like a bottle with high pressure. Dont wait till the brisance happens...

You know i sacrifice time to listen to your? I have things to do la! And no i am not that free as you think. Becuase i am busy with things that i never will be able to do in my life if i am in an instituition or company.
I am not chasing your away...but ya...think about how i feel as well?
Honestly, sitting here working is one of the worst palces to be in for me. Because the air con spoilt, so it is an oven stove here. I stare at numbers for 6 hours and stamp receipts as required. I talk to no one literally. You know the difference between msn conversation and someone real.

I am barely smiling at all...no i am sighing.
Someone, come tell me things arent that bad?

And honestly guys, dont wait till i have to blog this down then you all come and tell me...its quite dumb dont your think so?

I told myself, people matter, people are important. I told myself, i want to make a difference in people's lives. I know i do. But dont you all know its different when you tell me? Having to tell myself that i make a difference is dumb as well. Because i ahve to PYSCHO myself that yes i make a difference.

Hello!!!! Anyone getting me?

Someone, anyone, come tell me your lief rocks now!!! Make me feel like mine rocks as well.
Oh not goign to school? SUCKS!!because you have little social interaction, and you most probablyl lead a boring life.

I care, i might have cared too much, till i stop caring for myself. Now i might even stop caring about everything and everyone...someone stop me.
What i might end up doing isnt nice. So someone stop me...

Autophobia - Being alone isnt that bad at times.

Like a well, people keep taking sucking water. The water source is running dry. Its getting polluted. So will someone come and refill it?

I am getting really dry as well. Try staring at a computer for 10 hours a day. Talk to less than 10 human beings. what a terrestrial life. Mundane and monotonous. And everyone keeps telling me their problems!!! Tell me something nice as well? Bring colour into my life as well? Is it too difficult for that?

What happen to all the colourful moments in my life?

Someone! Someone, tell me i am making a difference in your life? If, i go on getting drier, i am sorry i might have to turn down all of you. Because no one deposit any water into me. I am DRYING UP!!!

Someone please tell me i am still significant.
And why!!!
Tell me that i am worth it. I keep thinking i am wasting my life away.
I am starting to stop beliving, so help me get out of this thinking!

Hello, anybody?

My thoughts are many. In random direction.
Issue > To compute, question and wonder the works, progress and systems of life itself.

Time motion, Time space, Time and change. Time itself is a changing factor.
Change can only occur in the domains of time itself, time itself is a linkage of gazillions of entities in continual flow. It is a chain that cannot be broken. Thus change constantly happens and cannot be stopped.

Problems. What is life without this noun, or maybe adjective? Conundrum. What is problems without this subtanstial entity? Are problems just a part of life, without problems itself, life cannot function on normal terms and conditions? So if that is true, does not that make problems an essential occurance in life?
Why not see it this way...Problems are just part of life. When a day without problems, filled with smiles, time and change spent with love one happens. Problems does not absent itself permanently, it merely takes a break.

Thoughts and questions. Why do we question, why do we think? Why do we think why do we think? Or maybe why do i think why do we think? Questions > itself is a control and an input system to enhance and improve the flow of thoughts, to continue the train of thuoghts. Don't you think so? Question itself, is one of the links and association based determinant that allows the flow of thoughts. If not for questions and associations. Our thoughts would have simly be as good as robots. Simple computation, of thoughts and maybe emotions.

Feelings. Why do we feel? Is it a function that is programmed into us, that we are now able to touch our thoughts, feel the heartbeat in those thoughts? Are not feelings an enhancement of thoughts, a secondary function, at the same time a primary? Without feelings, does that make us nearer to a robot? An artificially created being?

Organs, and anatomy. Hormones, Genes, Codings, and DNAs. What dose that make us? Whats a body with no set rules and systems? If so, would not we be subdue to direct changes, leaving us handicapped to remain as so.

Music, audio, listen, understand. Whats a world without music? Without the simple ability to create, to enjoy creation, the sounds snuffed out. A world without audio colours. A world with no expression. Would not the thoughts and emotions be so choked up within, that there is no way to output? Like all simple physic and math laws, there is always an equation, and in that equation input = output. In art, i wonder if the equilibrium dynamics apply, it varies. And maybe come to think of it, without art itself, there is no way for that law to be broken, at the same tiem elevated to the next dimension. Where complications aer introduced and celebrated.

Memories, fragments of timeframe plastered into our brains. Dimensions and complexity sticked to teh very heartbeat of that moment and context.
Whats a brain without memories? That to me, would siply equate to the defiance of space time motion change. It if the defiance that time itself exists.
Memories of change, of love, thoughts of goodness, all these are the simple notebook of whatever that happened, and that explains who we are, what we are, today.
Memories itself is a function that celebrates change.

I might be afraid of change...I dont know. Presently i think i do.

Oh, and the word dont...i wonder why cant it be dont, but instead don't. Cant we have a simple word that replace the word do not?

Gosh, i might want to switch from Firefox to flock. Like OH my!!!

I am having corrupting thoughts.
But Firefox will still do stumble upon. =)
Organisation of life, is making progress.
Did a bit on phone, and msn. But for mails. Neh.

Oh and i realised something. It seems like me to keep Constantly changing! Like i desired the abstract, absurd and arbitrary when i was 15. Now at 17, i have thought neh, that was the past. I might have thought that i like writing, i am like thinking what else do i like now? Am i really that good at it? Thinking of it, i have not touched a guitar for months, nor sat down in front of a computer to start cracking my brain over a plot. I might have lost touch? I might be better than last time. But looking at how much my writing skills morphed, it makes me think how much i improved.
Then again we all know, there is something that never improves, and that is grammar. So does that still make me a good writer? Oh, ya there are different aspects to it isnt it?

The rebellious and constant abnormal urge to break out of the conventions that confines the normal human being. I think Google, and yahoo are bleah! BOO!
See what i mean? You know what? Whatever i find today, and clap my hands upon the discovery, it will soon be ignored in a matter of years or maybe even months.

Oh, for all those out there with Olvls jia you, but in the midst of your mugging, i hope you will look a bit further than that. Because its really vanity when you receive your cert and you ask yourself, "whats next?"


And honestly in songbird, i hear rubbish 80% of the time. Which is so sad! =(
My search will continue though. In the hope of finding nice stuff. And sometimes what i view as rubbish might not be so to others.

I think i found something i like very much, and have been hoping for. I think...i have yet to try it out, but yeah, i discovered in the midst of songbird. heh!


God tell me, but my ears are closed man!
So someone wake me up? That s the whole point, its 3 in the morning, and i am still asleep!

Just be here for me.

Whatever it takes. Be here for me.

My life is pretty much in a mess now. A lot of things to organise. It has always been this messy, mails, unreal, not deleted. Feeds. Blogs. Searches. Platforms.
Contacts. Organise my life!

Oh yes and fix this ugly blog eh?

Oh get games for my phone!

I am wondering what is happening to my life?

I feel so hollow, shallow, like there is nothing that much deeper. Or maybe i am just simply being Emo now? Ha. read some emo posts maybe. But i guess, i am wondering at my pace. It seems slow enough.

Oh, i would very much like to hear what others will describe me as...?
I would very much like to hear what others think about me...?
I wonder what i am good at, and what others think i am good at...?

But i have a feeling half the statements they give, is going to be so false.
And the thing i i don't have to care what others say. Because i know God accepts me anyway, but the thing is we all need some reassurance. I would very much like someone to come and give me some very simple answers.

For all those who are reading T h i s, if you can give me an answer, your effort to do so would be very much appreciated.

Hmm...
I think i would still give up more for my ministry than what i want to learn and research, people matter. But hey, i need some assurance than i am making a difference in people's lives. I need some assurance that an impact is made.
God tell me all he wants, but its different when i hear it from you?

I've been calling up tons of members like sometimes about 20?
I got a camp committee to meet.
I have 3 meetings today.
And my brain is ZAPPED!
Oh FTV, things changed, i am helping Aza now. I dont mind, but i find it a bit odd. I will get used to it. The things that have changed, i dont really like it. Dont think i have enough time to change man. Oh at least the rate it is going? It seems too slow.
Oh, and i have made up my mind to use Sunday as a day to changed lives. Spend time with people. And the first few Sundays went to you. You know it.


I need some assurance from the person i care most. Tell me more than just those words.
Want to encourage me?
You can figure things out up there.

Alright i just watched a video on genome and how it is changing our world.








Its pretty obvious by now, for those of you who keep watch of how this world is rotating, that computers have taken over the world. DUH! I wonder about the kung bushmen, have they heard of such an equipment, but yes we know it has taken over the world.

I've seen videos where machines, like huge ones are building our homes, IN ONE DAY! When on average it takes 6 months to get a normal home up. This machine would mean our house would be a lot more cheaper, save resources, and yes workers are going to start to sit in front of computers and make these machines work! Can you imagine? The bangalah workers are going to do this!?! Say in ten to twenty years time?

Oh, the human genome project, its really the HUGE thing in science now. At least in my opinion...why? Its starting to tell us about the codes that makes us who we are? Yeah sure, we know about DNA, but the human genome is telling us why we get diseases, cancers, why people in Africa are suffering more from Aids than people from Europe. And why just a slight difference OF 3 PERCENT!!! in our DNA and genes Makes a man different from a woman.

Oh you guys can go check this person up, Mr Moore. His laws. You might have a better view where our world is heading...

These genetics are starting to turn chickens into weird creatures? I've seen chickens that has 3 wings instead of 2? Maybe there is even 4? Maybe the 5th one grows on the head? How disgusting!

Think extinction is a problem? Nope, human genome project might just find the codes and genes for a dodo, and wala, dodo is back! Back to get more dododified! This time with a backup!

And the saddest thing? Media focuses on how many people dying? The floods and bla bla, to me that is what i call boring. I mean how many times do you KEEP READING THE SAME THING ON THE NEWS? Rape cases, people dying, lawsuits, people are unhappy with one another, Yes there are variations, its important, but maybe within 20 years time, this human genome project is going to be on the newspaper. We see how bones and tissues, organs, are created and how people are saved through genetics coding. So might as well start getting to know WHAT YOU ARE MADE Of?

I am starting to think our public libraries aren't that good. Goodness...what has become of my perception?

I like codings!?! Do i?

Tell me if i am wrong, buy this question goes out to other guys.

Is it me or what? Girls never seem to be good at answering our questions guys!
But hey, not all girls, most....lets just hope whichever girl is reading this happen to fall under the category of not all girls.

Anyway, being an environmentalist friendly friend... hehe.

Here is a video, to promote things, and the music is quite nice too =)



I am astoundingly bored today.

I feel empty. Maybe i haven't talked to God or something.
You know i feel like going back to school, even though in my opinion you learn slower, simply because i have minimal interaction everyday. Like really, talking online makes you feel empty as well, i mean there are certain characteristics... But ya.
I guess i need a break as well. Trying to encourage people is tiring.
Listening is tiring.
And the worse part is listening to something that doesn't quite seem to be that troubling, and kicked up into a big fuss.

=(
=(
=(

Oh something about music exploration > song bird.

Sometimes i hate leaving my comfort zone, the current songs in my library though not many, has some pretty nice ones. And having to make the trip out of my comfort zone to explore new music, can be quite annoying because i have to subject my ears to profanity. Music that simply rapes my ears. Yew...
This creates a mechanism which brings down the interest level of exploration. So the next time you need to go exploring, you might turn down the idea.
Okay its just a thought.

Oh i thought about this last night. Haha, this might sound dumb and ironic at the same time, but i think in a way it is be true.

Those who are intelligent, are not those who do well in school, but instead first believe they are intelligent. Ironic eh? Haha. But its simple, you got to be smart enough to know that you are smart, bright, and intelligent.
It just so happens that the school, tests and whatever systems we are made to be in, tells us, and emphasis that message. So a student who fails the first time, have two perspective, one of which he will accept and believe.

1. 1. I am a failure.
2. 2. I failed but i will keep trying, because i know i can do it.

But sadly, the system we are in usually subtly dictate us to believe the first. So those who fail, continue failing, usually because they think they are unable to do it. Thus it becomes a mental barrier, which again ironically they set it up themselves with the help of the system they are in.

And for those who did well in the first test, would think they are good at this subject. The next time they fail, they again have two options.

1. I failed, and i have stop doing well.
2. I failed, but i did well before, i can do it again.

So the cycle repeats. See how dumb this system is? And i wonder if those up there ever realised that humans make comparisons. So those who are weak in that particular subject, faces three perspectives again. Once again a cycle.

1. Simply do not care about what happened.
2. Start sulking at how sucky they are, and be trapped in the mindset that they are a failure.
3. Use others as a control, so they will constantly work to beat his 'opponent'.

I wonder what can we do about this. Sometimes i just wish we can take a test and not know about the results, because i think its like blind hope and expectations.
But if you do not know where are your mistakes, you would not know where are your weak points. Maybe facing the plain truth just stinks so badly.

And another observation...Not going to school, more or less may affect your English. Which i think its true, because i am an example. My English is deproving, because the computer will give me the correct spelling. So i don't exactly learn the correct spelling. Oh well this observation is subjective. So no need to argue.

Actually the influx is killing me. Wonder will it ever stop. Everyday you make new discoveries and you keep thinking yew you are such a noob, you don't even know this. The worse part is when someone tell you in the face, you don't know about this?
That is one nice heart breaker.

Oh and networking with people got to be done over a few days at least. Because in the cyber world it is usually working on a transactional model.


I guess i am afraid...scared. Someone tell me its okay. Get me out of this thinking!
And i am listening to weird music on songbird, wonder why are they even near good. Sadly scissor kick seems to still promote the better music.

And i am starting to think Tabs are a bad idea for me, because i keep opening new one, and chuck the old one in front. But i like tabs very much =)

I am going to try something one day.
I will chat all day online. - Info grabbing time. My fingers will definitely hurt, cause i dont ype in a proper manner. Though fast at times.
I will find platforms where you get to make international friends.
I will try networking online.
Upgrading blog, that is good enough to get into the blog scene.
I might want to create two blogs. But i doubt i have the time to maintain it.
And my life might get quite mechanical. It is now already.

But yeah, i like the information influx.
=)

I found tons of interesting stuff today!
Did research on dance. Not yet done. But i shall name a few.
Jazz, foxtrot, mambo, salsa, samba, swing, twist, tap, waltz, can can.
Hey thats 10 dance styles! =)

Alright went piano lesson, teach said i learn very fast, and my sight reading has improved. I guess i was just conscious of whatever is happening. It takes effort, but yeah. And i think Yup, my sight reading has gotten to a new level, in two weeks my sight reading speed might have improved by 3 times. Though still pretty slow, but yeah, for a beginner, i would give myself credit =) to encourage myself la. Techniques wise, still fair. Hee.
Guess what i didnt go practice piano till this afternoon before lesson, and i played for merely 20 minutes, and i played the wrong score as well. Teach asked me to play pieces from the back while i played the front =( haha
She is from FCBC =) i got a Christian piano teacher

Alright i learnt that there smart clothes that are invented already! ALREADY! These smart clothes have chips in your clothes, to regulate your heart beat, blood pressure, etc. They can give data to any global network, doctors can immediately know what to do with you and might even save your life because of this new invented technology! This would be in place in the world soon! A few years time i guess.
I found out that FLYING CARS are already INVENTED AS WELL! ALREADY! It is still not fast enough, makes tons of noise, but its already invented. In two decades i guess we are going to see cars in the air. And in five decades we are going to drive them.
I found out there is this thing called bubbles inserted into your bloodstream. These bubbles are to help doctors aid the ultrasound scan. Ultra sound scan are all blurry images and black and white. These bubbles will turn the black space into white. So you can perpetually see the entire baby or heart or whatever you are scanning! Oh they use electromagnetic to do this. They can destroy it too.
Oh ya, they have found ways to stop death from occurring when you meet an accident. Its called reversible death. They freeze your blood and brain cells. Brining it down to negative 50 degrees.
Printers for hearts are on the way of invention, people are already conceptualising the idea and making progress. Absurd? You bet! I was totally awed!
Like they printed cells onto this microchip. After 6 minutes they found out that the cells are still alive! ALIVE!!! So we are able to get a HEART real one, for you in a few decades as well! STILL DONUT BELIEVE? LOLL! its dont.
They have manufactured valves. Like from scratch! They did it! ITS ALREADY INVENTED!
They beat la of course! Blood flows in and out. They take about 20 hours to get a valve done, but yeah its done!
I am sure electric pulses and veins are going to be invented soon.
Ok, they have invented! Notice INVENTED, machines to take the job of a surgeons finger. This is a breakthrough! Totally. They use two robotic fingers to cut. In future they can operate down to cell levels. The third robotic hand is the camera. And this camera can zoom up to 30 times. So yeah. cool eh?
This i am not sure if invented but the idea is on the way. Inventing a microchip to be placed in your body. This is for the paralysed, good news! They can walk again. These chips are inserted beside your spine, and the neurons from your brain will use this chips as the new spine, and transmit signals to hands and legs. Cool eh?
Alright all these in a 40 minute video from discovery channel - the body 2057

Learn this in school? Wait on man...
Learn this on the net? TOTALLY!

So now is it better to be in school or out? Sadly we need that dumb degree...

Alright i encouraged two people with my nick.

Close friends actually =)
Putting it up here.

Ever felt like no one remembered you? God did.
Instead of surrendering to God when you are tired, why not surrender now?

Sub nick - Significance begins in love, Your significance is in God!

Keep encouraging those around you!
Share your problems with one another, because its nice to share!
To give is better than to receive!

Haha, ok i might have just tweaked with God's word, but yup, you guys know what i mean.

I hate being zheng yi.
Dislike being in my brother s shadow. I don't know, maybe i am rebelling. I know i love my brother, and as the years go by, i keep seeing the similarities between us.

I hate really HATE IT when people mispronounce my name. I don't hate the person, but it simply spoils my day. damn irritating. Here are some examples.

Zhen yi > Those who have never seen my name SPELLED OUT.
Cheng yi > Every Indian calls me by this name. I forgive them, but i will never be zheng yi to them AGAIN!
LUNCHEON MEAT!!! > You know who you are, i still love you, but wa, damn sick. Simply revolting, and the only reason i am going to respond to the way you address me, is because its ULTIMATELY REVOLTING!

I am Joey in school > Poly... 5 days a week, and PURELY JOEY! Go church become zheng yi again.
Like i am suffreing from personaility problems and my identity is screwed!
I feel uber weird when after 3 months no one called me zheng yi. Besides my parents, i like it when they call me that. Point is, i felt YEW!

I am simply reserving zheng yi to parents, someone's mum, actually just elders, becasue when they call me that i like it. Everyone else, i am sorry to say, but you guys have no more right to call me zheng yi. Please try not to. It irks me. And if you do it purposely, you can simply spoil my day. But since i said it, it wont exactly as well.

I like it when my parents calls me zheng yi, because if i am going to be JOEY to them, they will stink my name. So yes. Now you guys know why i feel about how i feel about my name.

Thank you very much

Oh, had camp comm meeting. A bit disappointed.
Actually quite la. I prayed hard to not get into logistics. Actually i didn't pray. But ya i mean like i sian of logis man. I like sick of it already. I think i will feel alot of stress being in logis. Really. I did it in mission trip. I was in logis for area camp. And little areas in my life i was given the task of logis. That is so sad la. The whole church seems to be viewing me as a logistics guy.
DAMN sick!

WHEN HONESTLY I THINK I AM NOT!!!

I am good at sequence, but giving me something structured is the wrong thing to do! Sigh. Honestly la, i wanted so badly to be in publicity. But serving God has never meant your interests were above God's. But oh wells. I know God is going to teach me a lesson here. So i am not going to miss out on the lesson. And i have more confidence in Programming than Operations. But okay la, given the chance i would still do what i am assigned to in camp comm...because i still have a slight say in games. Can contribute ideas =)
When actually i hope i could be part of the team that fuels the idea.

Pretty sure you are going to see a lot more inspiration and ideas burst forth from me in programming than in logis. Wa stress la!

SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God surrendering sounds easy, it is. But making the choice isn't at times.

Aiya, in logis already, not going to switch, but i am just afraid i would look over at programming and feel misplaced. Insignificance might have a hold of me. Not good if that happens. I guess accepting my role is the best thing to do now. But SIGH SIGH SIGH!!!!!!

If i ever get to run a school, not being under the MOE. I would let all my students have free choice of what they want to study. And the internet most probably would be their friend, teacher as well. Then of course there are activities that would involve social interaction.
I would make them study systems and patterns. But of course people have different preferences. So they can choose categories basing on the kind of individualities they are.
There would be brainstorming sessions.
There would be emo sessions too. This is to tap on their emotions, not start cutting wrists.
They will have specific teachers.
HOME WORK WILL BE SELF ASSIGNED!
Teachers simply guide, they don't mark. Teachers will join the students in their research and study.
News would not simply be read, but analysed.
And everyday we can have different food from different places. Oh cooking class!


Oh no, maybe i should drop the idea, i am going to screw up everyone's lives! Haha

I am going to make a few predictions.

In the future Song bird is going to own the shareware scene!
To me its one of the best things I've stumbled into. Any of you out there whose music taste is near mine, you can come ask for songs. Cause there are some music that I've found that totally ROCKS! And guess what? Downloading the tracks take about 20seconds?

There might be a toilet bowl that can suck out your feces, might. Not sure if its invented yet. But Ya. It is highly possible this invention would come to pass. They will find a way not to suck out your intestines and anus of course. The irony about technology is that the more we invent, usually the less we use our bodies. The computer is a good example. So in the end the only few organs that are important is our brain, heart, and maybe genitals. Maybe because they might simply they your DNA from your blood, and there you get your child. Heh, who knows what might come out from the human genome project? I am not sure if things are mapped out, but i would say the more they venture in genetics, the more confused we are of ourselves. Then again, maybe initially.

I predict that our schools are going to take on an extremely futurism dimension. Right now how i see our schools is simply backward. Honestly. Haha, i know there are other worse schools out there. But you guys should check out the technology in the world now. The architecture used to build buildings, don't understand why these kind of things cant land up in our schools if the government is willing to spend more money on it. If you have a will, its possible.

And i am still burnt. According to my mother, i am getting darker by the day. If you guys see a widespread darkness across the sky, sorry about that. Didn't mean to do anything to harm the plants. I love plants!

How would you feel if you are the last human being on earth whom you know only speaks your language? No one else in this world does.
Wouldn't that be almost as good as mute? And every so often the 6000 languages in this world, are losing their place in the modern society. So each week maybe one elder from a tribe lose his language because they are unable to pass down to the young.

What is happening to the world? Convergence and convenience.

I hate IE. They really suck! I think its either they hate me, i hate them, or we hate each other. Apparently it seems the latter.
IE everyday keeps popping up into my com. not sure if viruses come along with it. Now there is an IE unauthorised window that popped itself out, and i cant close it. I cant shift it either, so in a way i am shut off from my desktop, but i now how to get around it =)
IE can practically go die! Ops, thats an extreme remark, lol. Who knows they might send some assassin to come snub me out, but that would cost them money and time.
Alright this has been a stupid post, and its spoiling my blog. Thank you IE.

I am starting to think people who keep whining over how pathetic their life is, is really brainless and dumb. If you are one of them, and after reading this post, and do not see things differently and make a change in your life, then you are dumber! Okay, not out to insult you, but honestly, break out of it!
I am not accusing those who whines, i know how it feels when you feel like crap, but it would be quite dumb if you spend too much time crying and not thinking of how to solve the problem wouldn't it?

My previous post mentioned about death. I thought about this today on my way to Zone outing.
If you are going to spend your life not forgiving someone who hurt you, then you have just stopped loving. You have wasted a bit of your life away. Because you have failed to forgive. Love has many aspects, if you choose to love someone, you would forgive him or her no matter how deep the hurt is. It may be difficult, but hey, you want to be rich and wealthy, got to love! The richest man on earth? - Jesus. No one loves like he does.

Another thing, want to live life to your fullest? Stop getting pissed so easily, and honestly, if you spend your life holding against grudges and thinking about retribution, you are like UBER dumb la! Really, whats the point of thinking of how to get our fair share in the argument, when you can simply let go and love? If you spend 10 hours of your life being pissed, don't you think you just wasted that time?

For those of you who feel inferior, and pathetic, your life is messed up, screwed nicely. You feel like you have no say or no control, DO SOMETHING LA! Besides sitting there and cry. Don't misunderstand me, its okay to cry, but don't cry for centuries as well? There is a time for moaning, a time for work. The time for moaning will pass, so get over it and do something about it! And really, just change things here and there. You can't change your parents, who stink to you? Change yourself la! Parents wont kill you if you suddenly become very obedient, so just be a good child loh. You think you have no friends? Go out there and see how many others can't even call a dog their friend. Do something about it? Learn some social skills, start being nice? But please do it with the right motives!

So, here its simple, you see a problem, the next thing to do is to find a solution. Sometimes The problems are beyond us, So let God handle. Because he who is beyond comprehension is beyond our understanding on how he comes up with solutions for us. So just find God.

Step out of it! Don't waste your life away feeling pissed, emo, sad, inferior, whatever! There is no time for that if you want to make an impact and be significant!

I think the great people out there in the world, are usually not the rich. The great people out there in the world, are those who love and love beyond more than what they can give.
Love to me is wealth, the less love you have, the poorer you are.
This may be a radical concept, but its pretty simple. Lets say love is your currency, next you will give love to others, by giving your love to others doesn't that simply prove that you have the love to give? Just like spending money, you spend your love on others.

So how much love do you have today?

Love, unlike currency, should not demand anything in return, currency does. This results in a selfish world. So if everyone has more love, they wont demand something in return, would not we have just established a free trade economy of love? This world will no longer be selfish, and no wars will happen. Love for the environment and no more global warming. Go to hell with all the peace talks. If everyone has love in the first place, there would be no need for nonsensical peace talks. Starting to wonder how dumb our politicians are. Then again, rebellion is not love.


The great people in this world, always believe that there is something to give. They are able to see pass the flaws of human beings, and our brokenness, and instead focus on giving out love. Maybe they have seen how broken and lost we are, thus giving their love to others.
They believe in seeing something changed in this world, and usually what really changes this world, is where significance lies, where impact is made.

I've watched quite a number of motivational speeches, people inspiring others through their words and i agree with them. Death is the greatest gift. I used to think its the worse invention God created, but instead now i think its the best reagent! If not for Death, Time has lost its value, time would equate to eternity on earth, which simply allows us to procrastinate, which more or less stop making us think if there is more to life. Or at least Death will make us think in another direction. Death itself is like the ending to our story, to our life.
Can you imagine a story that never ends? Would not that be a total bore? Death is the period, is the ending, Death in my opinion is the propelling force to make our life count.

All those great people out there, knew this, saw this, accepted this, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY APPLIED THIS!!!
If they have not seen that there was a limit to their time, there was a limit to how much they can contribute, they would not have done great things in my opinion. At least not as significant. They knew time was precious, they wanted to make an impact, and they carried their idea into action.

Let me ask you, "Do you want to see a change in this world?"
If you do, "What are you going to do to make that change happen, or to leave significance in someone's life?"
If you have your answer, "Are you doing anything to make that vision come to pass? Or is it simply rotting away in your brain, and its wavering in your heart?"

People remember your significance and worth, not by the money you earned, but by the love you gave.

I am burnt! I look like a lobster, even though i am born in the year of horse. So now imagine horse with pincers galloping across the field! Wow, what an image!

My best friend just called me hopster. But i think horster would sound nicer.

Okay, zone outing was uber fun! But really burnt, we played volleyball, Frisbee, captain s ball, and splash.

Frisbee - quite duh
Captains ball - consist of small basketball, peeled orange, egg, bean curd *square tofu, banana.
Volleyball - you are allowed to use head and legs.
Splash - i don't want to explain.

Capture the flag - Uber fun game! 4 groups were playing simultaneously! So its like being part of a total war, with no alliance, you can form them but eventually all hell will break loose between the last two survivors. There was some really good display of skills in shooting, accuracy, and running, dodging too, and sand flying, and .... okay i am stopping here.

Marvin, i remember your marksmanship award! Throwing a Frisbee and that Frisbee landing straight on top of basketball twenty metres away from where you stood! Amazing!

I like the word Photon!

Perspective: what really stops you? Your mind!
Don't ask yourself what you don't have, but instead ask yourself what you do have!
Your priorities, your daily agendas will determine how successful you are.
Start to be thankful for what you have!
Give yourself credit - You are not the only one!
The whole world can tell you that you SUCK! Totally big time, but hey who says you gotta believe them? Because its just an opinion.
If you find one positive thing about in your life, NO ONE CAN ARGUE about, then hang on from there, and go from there!
The day you believe you have fully reached your potential is the day you have not!
Its coming IF you keep on going forward.

Vision: If you have a vision, YOU WOULD STOP PROCRASTINATING!
It automatically motivates you to do it!
There is a perfect time for everything, NOT now, but its COMING!

Choices: You gotta make a choice to make that step.
So whats your choice?

Define: Equanimity > steadiness of mind under stress; "he accepted their problems with composure and she with equanimity"
> The quality of being calm and even-tempered; composure.

If you know this word good for you! For those of you who don't know, good for you too, because now you know.

Define: Invigorate > to give vigor to; fill with life and energy; energize.
> To impart vigor, strength, or vitality to; animate: "A few whiffs of the raw, strong scent of phlox invigorated her"

Define: consequence > The relation of a result to its cause. A logical conclusion or inference.
> Something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition.

Define: Repercussions > An often indirect effect, influence, or result that is produced by an event or action.
> A recoil, rebounding, or reciprocal motion after impact.


You must first posses a fair amount of equanimity when under precarious situations, before you are able to invigorate others. The consequence of your well intended actions, with considerable certainty, would give a you a positive repercussion. Usually expressed through a smile.


Now, at this point, one out of three possible outcomes would have directly affected you.
You would either have improved your English.
You might have deproved your English, after reading this nonsense post.
Or you would have just remained stagnant, and your English has neither improved nor deproved. This only proved that you are either totally ignorant, or you have just received sight a few seconds ago.

Thank you for investing your precious time here, at keepyoursmile.blogspot.com

Today is an annoying day, because it just is. The only nice part was leraning piano.
But the teacher was in a way annoyin gto me as well, guess i am still not used to her. Or maybe i am just pissed that my techniques and sight reading is so slow. But dont understand why i expect so much from myself. Si gh


ANNOYING DAY

Define: flustered > to be thrown into a state of agitated confusion.
Define: brisance > the sudden shattering effect of high explosives.
Define: perturb > thrown into great confusion or disorder. / To disturb the mind.


Add them together, you kind of get my emotions for today.

Bloody NS and school.

What would you do if you are left with the last 24 hrs of your life?

Think real hard on this question. Be convicted in your answer, and live like its the last 24 hours of your life.

So am i. He drop out like 6 months after he entered college, and we both drop out for pretty much the same reason. I know what he meant when he said about feeling free. I wonder how long more will i feel free, i am enslaving myself into a load of work i would very much not like to ask for next year. But sigh, i don't think i am that lazy, hee. If i am motivated, i am far from lazy, If.

Steve Jobs, drop out at 17, i am 17. Does great things happen at this age? In my opinion, yes kind of. Its the age where you get out of school and experience life in another way. For those of you secondary school kids, ops i mean students, you will know what i mean when you get the chance to come out and work. You will miss school. So value it. Every moment every bit, remember as much as you can. I am afraid i would lose the memories i have in secondary school. Don't know if my theory stands true still, but so far it is not challenged so it will still in a way stand true. At least to me//
Regret, is the agent created to prevent further mistakes from occurring in your life.
When you start regretting, you start living life in a different way. It may be better that way, yet you wish you might not regretted. Somethings gotta give if you wish to gain something more out of it. The equation always has an equilibrium, therefore it is an equation.

Life is full of choices, make your pick.

Alright i found this dude > Steve jobs > on self improvement > stumble upon.
Thought this dude was really inspiring.
So gonna write it down here.
His three stories and messages

1. Keep trusting in something, for me that will be God.
2. Love what you do. The heaviness of being successful, was replaced by being a beginner again.
Sometimes life is gonna hit your head with a brick, don't lose faith. You gotta find what you love! It is as true as it is for work, and for your love. Your work is gonna fill a large part of your life, the only way to be satisfied is to do great work. The only way to do great work, is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, don't settle. As like with any great relations, it keeps getting better and better as the years roll on. Don't settle, keep looking!
3. As you live each day, as your last, some day you would be most certainly right.
'If today would be the last day in my life, would i want to do what i am about to do? When the answer has been no, too many days in a role, i know i need to change something. Almost everything, falls away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering you will die, will just help you avoid the trap of being afraid to do what you want to do. What and how you would want to live life.
Death is the single best invention in life. It's life change agent, it clears out the old, to make way for the new. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone's else's life. Hmmm

Been trying to live in some way or other, others lives. But neh, it only made my life better =) so i copied all i want, and i took that as my motivation i guess, but the intentions and though processing behind gotta be programed correctly, if not it might just turn out to be some virus attack when i don't even know. Virus scan softwares are nice. I like them. Cause they help us kill our bugs. And come to think of it, they are a lot more nicer than house work, cause we simply activate them =)

I think i found what i like to do, i am still not entirely sure about it, but it has been there since i was young i would say. Sigh the downside of my personality which values change and challenge is that i am not settled entirely, i guess. Many times i think i live in grey areas, where i don't exactly know what i want to do with my life, but there are somethings that are clear, and simply against my morals and convictions.

Trusting God, was never easy, but the more i trust him, the easier it gets. And in fact, it is so easy, because God keeps shutting me up, no point arguing with him, because you are just simply wasting your time.
I am still thinking about those 5 things that i like doing, or at least think so.
There is a common similarity between all of them, and that is computation.

Here's the link to the video. I am lazy to compute this one. Typing is always faster. Ha!
http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=8n0w6a0pwv

God i wonder.
Is it me or what?
Maybe i should just keep trusting you and her?
Is that it?
Tell me about it!

Rar
Sorry God for not listening, so screaming at you now.
In life there is colour, and red is one of them. One of the primary colours.
Red, a colour, can be used to convey many messages, i guess red is happening in my life now.
I don't know, i only know God knows.

Is it so hard to trust? Maybe i feel like i cant trust anyone? Rarrrr, another computation problem to fix.

Just checked my brain, Found this.
Thoughts > Emotions > Trust > Reliability > Unknown and abstract > You can't trust, cause you know everyone will eventually fail, you know you are not supposed to fully trust someone, only God
<<<<
Thoughts > Apply feelings, judgments into thoughts > Self analysis > So do i really trust anyone? Do i trust God? > Answer > No
Thoughts > Apply feelings, judgments into thoughts > Self analysis > So what do i do? > Go talk to God, and find a way to just simply trust.
Thoughts > Apply feelings, judgments into thoughts > Self analysis > Conclusion > I perpetually don't trust anyone at all > I guessed i was hurt > So now this is hurting you > Panic > Stop > Make a choice > Fix the problem with God
Computation ends. Full stop.

I wonder how many of you know this as i am about to explain where does money come from?

Here is the answer, astounding it may be, but it's true, and i will explain it shortly.
IT COMES FROM YOU, ME AND EVERYONE. US!

The government simply support a system to allow the money to be created.
We all know money comes form the bank, and yes it does. But ever wonder where do they pump up such a huge amount? It all came from our loans and mortgages. These money that WE OWE the bank will be in turn used for someone's else's loan and mortgage. So now as we loan, WE ARE IN DEBT to the bank. So here we see we owe the bank, the bank gets money from US, and next WE borrow money from them.
Here we see a system that seems to be equivalent, yes that is established.
But wait, how does our economy grow?
Here is the answer, the banking system usually works on this ratio 9 :1
For every one dollar we owe the bank, the bank creates another 9 bucks to loan out to others.
Simply, if we loan 1000 bucks from the bank, you have just given the bank the ability to loan out another 9000. This is how money grow!
Next, we think this is not possible, why not?
The only way this system would fail, not considering government failing to support it, is that EVERYONE who DEPOSITS money into the bank, comes knocking on the bank's door for the money they deposit, simply because the bank has loan out their money, and has to return interest. The returning interest part, is actually the part where the system has a chance of failing. Because the bank can just simply write a cheque to say here is your money.
You would now think the government printed the money, true but they only printed that 1000 bucks that you first posses.
How does the government support the system > they don't let us know what the banks are doing with our money.

Misled, maybe, maybe not? We simply BLINDLY support a system that helps us, at the manipulation of our money.
This is how the world works, in the combination of logic and manipulation, people are misled.