If you have realised. I dont really blog about something that happened in my life. But yeah Os somehow just took so much of the last few posts.

Do note, this post isnt anywhere near interesting, so i advice not to read this post. Because i post it more for myself than for you readers.

I am thrown off guard. I am flustered. I cant do anything now. I wish i can just blurt out everything. I guess i am doing it here. I still have things i can mug. But i choose not to anymore. I lost it. I really hope i dont go inside the hall and not feel like sitting for the paper. How annoying.

Listening to angels and airwaves now - do it for me now.

Shall continue entertaining myself.
I wish i dont have to go through this annoying phase again. I know its just two papers. But having to face up with the fear of failure. The whole process of doing it again. Its just annoying. Yes i prefer to run away. But i grow to realise, you cant. Its everywhere. You have to eventually face up to it. You have to break out of the conventions. I see so many math genius, none of them stick to the textbook. They explored by themselves. Guess their road is lonely as well. I mean how many people would understand the process of doing what they did, of breaking out of the conventions. Yes i found out more about golden ratio. About fibannci numbers. About Hebrew alphabets are actually assigned a number. And how it adds together to show concepts. Math is so much more interesting and alive when its online than when its on textbooks. Textbooks are like a series of steps to help you get what you want. But math online is concepts, arbitrary, not defined at the same time it is. With little art and at times with such artistic values in the ideas presented.

Whee. Math paper.