My destiny is my discomfort.
God i feel like throwing those words in your face now!
But i dont know where you are, No i dont know where i am?

NEVER felt more painful serving God. I never knew pain was part of the contract.
Shit man, like Jesus didnt hurt?


Asking me to smile, is one of the worse things to do. I would be living in a lie if i do so. I am not smiling, i feel worse from being requested to TRY to smile. I am trying to find something in the smile, not the smile. Yeah contradiction to the link.

Aiya, really, i am going to stop trying to find hope from those who offer. Those close. Its getting worse. I am not finding myself anywhere nearer to a higher altitude.

Tenth circle is half right. Falling down isnt as painful as trying to pick yourself up.


I had thoughts of someone else taking over my duties in my ministries. Yeah, i didnt take care of myself. See this is what happens. No...God allowed it maybe. Maybe i am selfish, there are so many reasons. But i am struggling so very hard. Like really. I want to smash stuff.

I am waiting for that day where i can scream at God. And...



Shit, i am still kinda thinking of the show, The Hill have eyes... Yes photographic memory. 10 mins into the show, and i was thinking Whose line is it anyway would be so much better. My spirit didnt feel right about it. Yew.

I wish i have a pump into my brain. Pump out all the words and filters.

Yes i wish would chase after me, i wish knew what to say. knew what it takes for me to remember things. Memories that seem so far away now. No they lost their existence as memories. 3 chases. And a dozen sacrifices.