Thanks for all the cab conversations. Thanks for all the pain being amplified.
Thanks for letting me know i go home in the other direction. Thanks for reminding me that i go home ALONE!!!
Thanks for reminding me that i am a social out cast. I am insignificant. I am useless. Thanks...i guess i made the wrong choice. I just got myself into so much pain without even knowing. God if i am so insignificant to you, why did you even bother saving me? Get lost la...

God why did you bring me through this pain? I so want to take back the words i said. God i so want to run away. I am. Yay! I am going to run away. I am going to run so far, that i dont have to face up to all this F***ed up shit and pain.

God why were there so many f*** words in my head? Why did i even ran a wiki search on it? God how f***ed up is this!

God why do you purposely bring me through this pain? You sadist! You like seeing me go through pain dont you? You like telling me i am insignificant dont you?

God i am telling you, i am not going to places where it hurts. You idiot, who in the right mind does that? Yeah Jesus again. I am not Jesus!

God, you know it yourself, i stop believing you. Your words make no sense, you are ridiculous. I numbed myself, God.


The only line i hear from God today, " Son you are handling the pain very well."

F*** you....like walau.


Sigh....God why do i see so many tears rolling down my eyes? God why? Why!!!??? GOD WHY!!!!!!!!

I so want to throw everything in your face God! I so want to grab anything within my grasp and throw it in your face! God you stink! Why do i hurt so much?
God its so unreal. I made you unreal.

I am so much like a kid raising his fists against his parents, against those who draw lines to protect, not to limit. God this is my sane brain. You should know what i mean.
I know what you are doing, but i can hold no longer, I am PULLING THE PLUG.

God how i want you to take back your words. That you admire me, that you are proud of me. CAUSE I AM NOT! God...why are you still here? God will i ever get the day to scream?

F*** I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN! F*** F*** F*** Why does every (a o) meeting HURT SO BADLY? GOD i know you are secured, I AM NOT! God i cant hold out anymore. Anymore and i am throwing away the plug.


God why is my brother in this?

Why does it have to HURT SO BADLY!!!! F*** la!


God catch me. God i so need you. But i cant find my way back anymore. I hurt so much trying to find my way back. GOD WHERE AM I!!!?

( a e ) be here please. Stay...