I am starting to hate emails. There is like only 1 email out of a 50 that is important to me.


Amazing you are always present
God.
I'm here.

Amazing you never need to say sorry
God!
I'm here.

Amazing you never got angry
God...
I'm still here.


I skated.
On the road. A sense of liberty and freedom stirred in my guts. The wind blowing on my face was simply awesome. Asking myself, observing my decision to hit the asphalt, why did i do what i did?
Is it in us to have that desire to fight for freedom, to rebel?
My answer...i dont have one now.


Pre U sem changed quite a bit of me. To a small extent, yet in a great magnitude. Paradoxical? Totally.
I think...i felt like i was thrown out of my comfort zone, sleeping in the same room with my a stranger. Making friends with a group of strangers. Having to leave my comfort zone was to lose quite a bit of communication with Innovians.
I saw Chee Yan and Gabriel...familiar faces, yet it seem different.
I can tell they both changed, Gabriel seemed to have change more.
Honestly, the people that were there...were nowhere like my close friends. I mean they are nice and all, but i dont feel safe falling flat on my face in front of them. I know they will say its okay and all, but still, its that that...i have no idea what is it.
I am gripped by how relations are built so fast. I see these relations thrive out of a mix of goodwill and the need to co depend, the need to interact. But i dont see how it will sustain, because almost none of us have ever really hit a genuine level, where flaws are revealed and genuine acceptance is shown.

I love my group. Yet i feel like there are many fine threads i do not see, and these threads are easily broken.
All in all its still enriching. I wish i did see so much more than just the issues we engaged ourselves in. I wish i see their lives, i wish we would not have only mainly talk about schools and the education system.

Half the people in my group either take KI or are from IP or both. I use to think these people are favoured, they are the elite, the top of the top, after getting to know my group members, my perspective took on a different level. They are all witty, intelligent, but...i dont find them bombarding me with any entity that is beyond comprehension. In fact we are most of the time on similar wavelengths.
Mindset breakdown. Perspective twerp ed.

I used to think IP students are Woah...but seeing the number of IP students, things changed.
As Ken Robinson puts it, "Its just another form of living."

My group is by far unique, we are pretty much different from other groups, because we do not commit ourselves to yum seng cheers, and simply cheers. We are slackers yet witty.
Yeah 80 - 90% of the people there are witty or at least display depth in intelligence.

I still cant settle on a resounding thought and emotion on how i feel and what i think about Pre U sem.


I read some stuff.
I miss you pretty badly.
I wonder if there is still that chance, like a fine thin thread, hanging, suspending.
The further this distance grows, the lesser i see of it.
I can only pray God, i want to see that thread again, please preserve it.
God please...preserve it.

God i pray for the friends i made from Pre U sem, that there will be threads that would not be cut by the scissor named time. I surrender it all to you.

"Such a beautiful surrender."
Mute math