I am perceiving.
I dont jump to conclusions, and i figured some stuff.

--

My father caught a thief. The thief grabbed the bag of money, my father shouted at him, and fear struck the thief. It was all by the Holy Spirit. The thief had a knife as long as a 30 cm ruler. He was taller than my brother, but he was old. My father leaped at him and caught him. The police came.

I am so glad i didnt lose my father to some stupid thief with a 30 knife.

--

Through this weekend, i find people who appreciates me a lot =)
My brother is one. Ian has grown in his appreciation =) and for all the AOs, who talked to me. Thanks. Joylynn, Sherron, and of course, Charm.
There was Jeremiah too.
Had a nice chat with Carissa Toh while watching Freddy Boey's cup.
I love people whom i can talk to, yet we talk once a year kind? Guess Carissa s one of them. Thanks for sharing, if you ever read this...

Alex made his fist official goal, proud of you boy! =)
It was a goal with style.

Alex pre planned it. He told my brother, if you were to score a goal, run to the corner, and i will use the flag to knight you. My brother agreed enthusiastically.
The scene unfolded before my eyes.
As Carissa Puts it, "CLASSIC"

--

I had to switch in between my social circles on sat night. It was an extremely weird feeling. In the distance of 300m, my social circles co existed.

Wayne's party was interesting. I never seen a host serve so much, i guess he has a heart of a servant. I wont conclude now, cause i dont make final conclusions till i see enough.

He cuts the entire cake by himself and served everyone.
I shall commend him for his cake cutting skills.

--

I saw ONE camp photos, it wasnt easy going through them. My heart felt heavier as each photo leaps into my vision. The only photos with me inside, are photos where i was preparing for the next activity. Camp comm was pretty much a nightmare, yet quite an experience.
Thus an experiential nightmare.

It was just photos with people in service and games. The heavy heart sets in, knowing that you arent in those pictures, because you never had the time to sit through an entire service. Yes i still stand by the view that i paid 150 bucks to do manual labour. But its for God. It was a good price i guess.

The special workshop was an experiential workshop for those who prepared.
Staying up to see the early birds wake up was just mm.
7Am, the sun rose and Joey set.

Within the next 6 hours i saw something extremely beautiful. I cant figure why i found so much beauty, but my eyes and brain just told me so. I want to see it again.
There is so much more than this.

--

One of the saddest things that happened last year, was the one whom i hoped (i didnt say expect) to understand the most, understood the least, and because of that, it hurt the most. There was a girl, whom i never met before in megalife, simply teared from my short sharing of 3 mins. She has so much empathy that i wont forget that time frame. How can someone empathise so much in such a short time frame?

Yes it was a nightmare. For those who dont know, i seriously had traumatic dreams on camp.

One of anyone's worst fear is that, you wait ten years for someone, to see yourself getting rejected. The painful part is in that ten years, you keep thinking about that possibility.

--

I feel thoroughly misplaced. Visiting megalife makes me feel that way. I figured that all my close friends live miles away from me. I fought hard in desperation to keep myself out of my house tonight. I succeeded, thank God.

I wonder if my cell mates back in COS bukit timah will ever understand, how its like to miss people whom are close to your heart, and you havent seen them in one month, its more than that.
Its growing up in a place and now you go somewhere else and think what are they doing back at where you grew up.

Twice i came, and twice i miss.
Yes i imagine how was it like talking again, i had some of the most absurd and outright ideas.
I wonder if talking to Jolynn worked. If her questions were pre-planned, if they were, i didnt mind stepping into that trap.

--

I've been thinking about this for a few months, but inconsistently.

There is most probably, an intelligence divide that has happened across this globe, and that divide is widening.

--

Lit brings you to many places, yet it brings you nowhere.
In the figurative sense, then the literal sense.

--

I went to airport to enjoy its ambiance for a mere 45 minutes. It was short, but not satisfying enough, but i am contented anyway. I am contented cause i spent it with 2 friends who both matter a lot to me. For those whom i wish was there, i guess i will enjoy that liberty with you guys next time when you three grow old enough.
I seriously i hope i can mug enough tomorrow.

--

I've been having pre conceived notions of my friends. I am wrong in doing so. They change. I should eradicate these pre conceived notions.

--

I wish one day you would entrust your heartstrings to me.
Make me feel significant to you, cause you are to me.

--

I wrote this short letter to someone who mattered a lot.
Someone who i think about and whispered many prayers for.


Copyrighted from memory.

In this letter, there is a thought.
In this thought, love is found.
In love there is care.
In care there is significance.
You are significant.
You matter to me.

--

I think we all need time.
We need more time.
I believed in certain individuals in my lives, and decide to care so much for them, simply because i know IN DUE TIME, things would work out. You can bring the best out of them.

Time is needed to make a good dish, time is needed for God to mold you.
Give someone that time, dont give up on that person.
You shouldnt give up on that person, because God didnt give up on you.

--

I've met so many people this year, that i added 100 contacts in 6 months. There are people whom i hang out with and i dont add, i just cant be bothered anymore. I would estimate i got to know 200 people, and by face, 400 people in total.

How?
Changed church twice.
Pre U sem had like 600 people there?
In Innova I keep my eyes on the lookout for new eye candies to make my day.

--

I have the feeling that i am changing slower than the events that are happening around me.
Like these events are moving at a faster pace than me changing.
I feel like 17 still.

--

Some of my closest reminded me not to miss out on the forest just because of one tree.

I thought about it, i guess i am sticking with this tree because i think i found a "gem" (Whatever that is precious to you, and you know you wont find it anywhere else in the forest) and i know i wont be able to find this "gem" to be as precious as the other "gems" hidden beneath other trees. But as i take time to dig for that gem, i found none.
Patience runs out, and i ponder if i am digging the wrong tree.
Time is the deciding factor.

Give someone else that time, dont give up.

--

My brother once said this to me, "The older you grow, the less Christmas presents you give out." I cant agree more.

--

There is an art, i might want to do, its called...

So much more than this.

--

I asked God why must i live so far?
Because you wont be contented if you lived so near.

God why do i lead such a life? (Having so many social circles, and "belonging" to everywhere yet nowhere)
Because you wont be contented to be an ordinary bloke who only get stuck in one area.

God why do i have such a unique (weird) thinking?
Because you would ask for something more. You dislike being ordinary, you like being extra ordinary.

--

I wrote this on my sermon notes on saturday, as i see many things change in the place where i grew up.
I think the PA system makes it feel like airport.

In life the only constant is everything is a variable.
All but one constant, God.

God is the only constant.

"I'm Still here."

--

God bring significance to my life. I know those who are near me will tell me that, but i am finding my significance somewhere else in this stage of life.

All i need is time.

God, "Granted."