Its disgusting.
Utterly disgusting.

Horrendous to even mention this.
Right after Promos, i hit the pavement of reality.
I compose myself, and saw streaks of blood dripping onto the floor.
The revelation is revealed, my blood paints these two letters, "PW" on the floor.

I think PW is an outright mean monster.
As Candice puts it, we are entitled to the right to enjoy ourselves after promos, but on the flipside, Mr lim said, "Dont play till 8 nov."
How devastating can that be. Its another one month of draining academic stuff.
The worse bit to me is, after cramming my head with 5 - 6 subjects in the short span of 3 weeks, i have to now make more space for something called WR (Written report).
Honestly i forgot what was written inside, till i looked at it again today.
We have to give credit to the extra mile he went for us.
He is right in saying we are not desperate for marks, but on my end, my values mention that chasing a "certified paper" will equate to chasing discontentment.
Qualifications - centered people will never live a higher life, simply because getting straight A s might be fulfilling, but how long can that fulfillment last?
Being desperate for marks, to me might just even mean not bringing glory to God. Why are you so desperate over marks more than God? Has education been your new idol?
Dethroned?
Meaningless, everything is meaningless.
I have seen (at least to a certain extent) where knowledge can elevate you to, i have climbed a little too high, and i find it a little too difficult to get down. Being elevated by knowledge, will leave less room for contentment and more room for pride. I'll be honest, i was tempted by the devil to be arrogant as i see how some of my classmates, actually more than half of them know less than half the things i do (I am speaking in terms of quantity). The few people who can qualify (Nearing) to my capacity of knowledge would be Wayne and Jia Hao, maybe Gavin. Candice might have gained the ability to exceed my exposure rate, and ONLY Candice. (Exposure rate = meeting different kinds of people, being at different phases of life)
Khong sheng trumps me in knowing the simple doings of the everyday life.
All other canindates are ruled out. I have the guts and confidence to say this.
Now tell me, isnt pride knocking at my heart's door?
And yes i do feel finite as i climg higher up the ladder of knowledge.

You feel inadequate as you explore the boundaries of this universe, and you see how finite you are. You crave for more, and that is where the disease strikes you. Viper strike. Poison nova.

O level only seem valid to me for 2 - 4 weeks, at most, till my entry of poly or JC. Beyond that, it has reduced to a piece of paper with grades out to define my worth and effort.

I am going to be honest. I hate this feeling. The feeling where your liberty is placed in your hands for one short day, and the next they snatch it back. It is like you are set free from slavery, the next day they claim you as a slave again.

Utterly disgusting.

And at this point, i sit in front of the computer, unsure where to start my list, what to do first, i am still in the exam mood, but i know i am not about to touch my books for a few weeks.
I'll be forced to for chinese, but i am not too resentful towards that.
Thank God for our slack chinese teacher. We sit in chinese lesson listening to Ipod, Mp3, handphone, doing chem homework, eating breakfast, and the sort, some even sleep through.

I am not a free man. This, Mr education has stick this label on me.

Frisbee is still an escape. I am losing my initial siao on craziness, but the escapism it offers is tempting. Everyday i meet new people who plays uber good Frisbee. Its interesting how Frisbee connects people.

I wont hesistate to vote for IJC being a place where friends are extremely easy to make, and it can develop on a very fast rate, as long as a common ground exists.
Neighbourhood schools work like this.
I guess the higher tier JC s usually develop friendships out of wit. Superficiality, that s how i feel.
I dont know how to explain this. It may seem like i am sterotyping, but to a certain extent, i have earned myself that right. I know enough people from both the higher and lower tier JC s to make such a statement.
Pre U sem opened my eyes, remember?
Its more than that, church is another place.
I have to add this, a few churches in a short span of 6 months? 3 to be exact.
I am sorry if i appear arrogant, PW has thought me one word, a word i will never forget, JUSTIFY!
I just did.

They are building HDB blocks beside my school! Sighs. Neighbourhood.
I sat on the bus thinking about what i love my school and what i dont.
There are more reasons why i love my school.
I will put it up when i get the pictures.
The first time i saw INNOVA JC while sitting on the bus, i felt my heart leaped, and i knew i wanted to be in this JC.
It is the only JC in singapore to talk about the stars, about being a star, but i wonder if that concept has faced out.
God has indeed blessed me abundantly here.
Innova JC, was at first named Woodlands JC.
THANK GOD miss yeo disagreed to it, and changed its name.
If it was woodlands JC, i would have rather went to JJC.
And Woodlands JC sounds like a secondary school to me.

Utterly disgusting.

It is starting to turn weird as i switch from english to chinese in the presence of different classmates.

Linguistic politics.

I am sorry to make this assertion, but i am pretty sure that all higher tier JC s play with linguistic politics, and to a large extent.
Mr lin can stand testament to that. (From VJC)
Our question, "Is the maths paper goign to be hard?"
Mr lin, "No, i can do it what."
The wit employed, both to encourage and to mock.
Extremely witty. Simplistic and embedding two messages in oen sentence.

But he is one of the kindest teachers i ever met in my life. Either the kindest or the second. Miss Ong is the other teacher. (VJC as well) I wonder if VJC churns out nice people, from all the people i met from VJ so far, they stand to agree with this statement. Yet i know there will always be some *A****** who will prove me wrong. Hence i always allow variations, yet i persist on relying on my cognitive templates.

About all the higher and lower tier JCs, i dont see it as discrimination, i see it as differentiation.
I dont attach any emotions to such comments, hence i hope my readers do not too.

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Out of this enmity, i will glorify you.

Linguistic politics - Diction

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God thank you for:
Loving me
Loving me so much
Loving me too much