Its highly interesting to note, that for the past 3 days, Adam Khoo s workshop consistently mentioned about breakups, when the theme of the workshop was peak performance for A level.
Today, he taught us how to rewire our brains, and turn all the bad memories into good ones, at least enough to pass off as laughable.
I have to admit, i tried it, and every time i recall that bad memory, i see colours, and feel good about it.

Chai mentioned about the book called Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult.
How coincidental.
Should we forgive an apologetic murderer?

And regarding facing the giants sermon, thank you.
I will keep in mind the 5 stones.
Especially the stone of persistence and stone of past.

My cell leader prayed that i will learn to let go of my past about 5 weeks back.
The prayer seemed rather insignificant then, but now it is one of the prayers that sticks to my mind and heart so clearly.
It is a prayer prayed, but not yet answered.

--

I wonder who should feel worse, the dumper, or the dumped.
Should the dumper be reeked of guilt and shame, or the dumped drown in hurt?

--

I think what was so difficult to let go is the fact that i am utterly disappointed.

I honestly dont care if there is any hope of anything in the future.
I am just seeking reconciliation over every single time i felt cheated.

The word selfishness kept popping in my head.
I am not out to sow seeds of guilt, but at least seeds of reflection.

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God, one thing i need desperately, forgiveness.
If i dont get forgiveness, i am in trouble.
I will stop growing.
Hatred, pain and hurt will just bind themselves on my heart, and i will be left in bondage.
Its more than a prayer.

--

One more to add onto the list of things i will need to forgive.
Manipulation.

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I am silent.
Yet my mind is swirling with words.

--

I will be dating myself next week.
I am not desperate, i just want to be alone.

--

God be louder in my life.