God told me to start reading Job on Friday.
Quiet time has been...rather emotion roller coaster like since then.
I seldom feel anything in quiet time, i usually just think.
But reading Job has been quite a journey, i am only at chapter 4 and breaking down all their words...is finally putting me in their spot.
I used to glance through Job, tried to finish the chapter, and hope it somehow made sense to me, this time its just so different.
Its just so heart wrenching.

I think this is obvious, but we all missed it.
Few or maybe no one came close to losing what Job lost.
When we are buried in our pain, we seldom see pass beyond the veil of agony.
Job was firstly a blameless and upright man, feared God and shunned evil.
Quite sure we dont cut out for that label.
Next he was so exceedingly blessed, he did be Bill Gates back then, he was described as the
greatest of all the people of the East - Job 1:3
The greater the height, the greater the fall.


Josh told me something last night which suddenly made a lot of sense.
Things happened anyway, either by God's permissible will, or God's perfect will.
And what happened to Job was permissible.
Why did God even allow Job to go through something so excruciating?
Simple: He is God, and Satan loves to have competition, so we become God's chest pieces.
Its an honour to be God s chest piece anyway.
God knew He would not lose Job, not because Job s was in such a dire state, but because the devil could not break Job s character, something only God had access to.
The devil could only attempt to change it.

As i proceed to chapter 2, i begin wondering how was it like that Job struck with boils from the crown of his head to the sole of his feet, sleeps, sits.
They sat there in silence for 7 days and 7 nights, they most probably did not eat and bathe, with their robes torn, and dust and ashes all over them.
Beats our sleep deprivation by leaps.

Its interesting how the devil only appeared twice in Job.
Since both God and the devil had a competition, the devil stop protruding because there was nothing else left to take from Job besides his life.
Job was reduced to the lowest of the lowest, KO of the KO.

And chapter 3, is so freaking sad.
He exceedingly rejoices when he finds the grave.
Existentialism questioned.
It seems like he wish he would have be an aborted child in today's term.
And we already symapthized an aborted child so much, what more Job.
Job spent his entire life gathering the blessings God gave him, and he simply lost it all in a few minutes.

And all this while, i listen to the lines, such a beautiful surrender.
Mute Maths - Control