You can kick and throw your hands all around, push your fingers deep into the ground and dig out the earth, whine over reality, but it has already happened, nothing is changing, everything is changing.

I still don't understand how you being my closest friend, grew so distant, so apart. You asked me before the definition of a best friend, i didn't consider you one then, cause i used it in another context, but from my memory, we came to the conclusion, we were each others closest friend.

Now this is where we are, distant, drifted.
I have no idea when i lost that chance to speak into your life.
When i choose to share something with you, i was hoping you did reciprocate, but it just stopped there.
I wonder if you would ever read this, if you would ever know its you.

Sincerely, i would really like to do this face to face, but it would require a lot of courage, and now is not the time, but i just need to say it out here.
I would ask you, "How did everything land up here? How did this friendship turn so stale? How did i lose that voice to speak into your life? How i no longer know anything about your life?"
I found myself telling you this, You are one friend i refuse to lose.
And you ad no idea how to respond to that line. I only gave it once, and only to you.
I know i ain't good at responding to certain lines when i lack the feelings and emotions, but i didn't expect you to do the same.

The weight of those eight words is so immense.

Maybe Jesus whispered to himself those words in the garden of Gethsemane.

--

I know church has this thing about only dating after 21, age doesn't speak so much as time does. I mean time will never over take age.
At my grand dad s funeral, there was this pastoral leader from another church my dad is giving consultation for, came up to me and, "Ask so do you have a girl friend already?"
I said, "No. She is too young."
Her reply, "Oh in our church, we encourage everyone to marry early, see they already have a kid." Points to a couple sitting across the table, below 30.

Still, i am not hung up about age, i am hung up about time.
Because time can never overtake age.